I am a girl. For the past 7 months I have been on HRT and I have never felt this good in a very long time. It would kill me if I had to stop it so now comes some very hard questions.

1) Can I transition even though I will probably not be a passable woman??

2)How does one come out to their Dad without breaking his heart?? My sister already knows that I am trans. She kept asking me if I was gay and I kept lying to her til I had to tell her the truth.

3)Is it ok if a transition takes 4 years to complete??

4)Is it OK to be scared??

I'll quit with the questions for now. Don't want to take up too much of your time.

Thank You for your time.

1. There is no problem transition if you don't look like a girl. It is harder on your nerve but it is acceptable. On the other hand, a quick look at your picture tell me you with work you might be more passable that you think. Your face is round and that is easer to work with than a long one like mine.

2. You are on your own with this one. I have letters around here and information that you can rework to match your fathers personality but there is no sure thing.

3. The transition should take as long as needed. I actively worked toward mine over a 3 year period from working on my image to SRS. I was on hormones a couple of years longer but the changes were so small that presenting as male wasn't much of a problem.

4. Yes. I would be very worried if you weren't scared. The life changes and SRS aren't for everybody and a little fear is healthy in that it keeps you examining the alternative. I had fear up to the moment the lights went out for SRS surgery but the fear was gone when I first woke up.

I don't know the answers all I know is that it took me 63 years to transition and its the most mentally satisfying experiences of my life, except maybe living in New Mexico for a few years , but the hormones beat out the desert mostly.

Those are the same sort of questions I've been asking myself. I haven't got all the answers, so I'm just going to take a step into the unknown and transition anyway.

Here are my best guesses:

1. Yes. It might not be an easy life, but it could be better than not transitioning.
2. Hopefully he will not be heartbroken if he knows you will be happier.
3. 4 years doesn't seem that long. I guess it takes as long as it takes.
4. Yes. Me too.

Quote from: Laurette Mohr on August 03, 2015, 02:37:17 PM
1) Can I transition even though I will probably not be a passable woman??

That's really up to you. I know a couple of trans women (not from here) who aren't passable yet are very happy with themselves. However, I must caution you that you won't be universally accepted by society unless you pass. You will get a lot of "sir" and "him", "he", "his" etc if you don't pass. Be prepared to correct people and learn to brush it off.

But in the end remember you're doing this only for you, and no one else. If you're happy with yourself in a certain state, by all means, go right ahead.

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2)How does one come out to their Dad without breaking his heart?? My sister already knows that I am trans. She kept asking me if I was gay and I kept lying to her til I had to tell her the truth.

My therapist has a blog post on how to do this. Her vehicle of choice is a letter.

See her post here:

http://tgmentalhealth.com/2009/12/26/thoughts-on-coming-out-as-transgender-to-family/

That said - parents will be parents and not everyone will accept you off the bat. My dad doesn't, and I don't know if he ever will. Just be prepared for that. But in the long run maybe people come around. But don't pin hopes on that. Just take it one day at a time.

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3)Is it ok if a transition takes 4 years to complete??

Take as long as you want, hon. It's your life and you transition at your own pace. Some of us transition really fast, some of us take over a decade. Either way it's what YOU are happy with. Remember, you are doing this for you and no one else.

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4)Is it OK to be scared??

Of course. You are human. Fear of the unknown is natural, and expected. I was scared as ever! Going out in public in women's clothes? Even underwear that nobody sees!!! I was scared!!! However you learn to cope with it and overcome your fears. Now I am confident as ever. You will get there. Just need time and belief in yourself.

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I'll quit with the questions for now. Don't want to take up too much of your time.

Thank You for your time.

Anytime and there is no such thing as asking too many questions.

 Thank you folks so much for all of your help. I guess I am realizing how difficult this journey will be for Me. I know that I have to address it NOW because these feelings don't stop. I thought that I could 16 years ago but as you can see it didn't work. Thanks again for EVERYTHING!!!!!!

 Well I'm not coming out to Dad. I asked him what he thought about the LGBT community and he said that they were disgusting people. Well at least I know how he feels. Sighhhhhhhhhhhh Oh well.

At some point, your father will have to face reality. I only learned after his death that my father never really accepted what I was doing but he didn't treat me any different. He was still my father and we could still talk, just never about what I was doing.

Quote from: Dena on August 03, 2015, 02:56:46 PM
1. There is no problem transition if you don't look like a girl. It is harder on your nerve but it is acceptable. On the other hand, a quick look at your picture tell me you with work you might be more passable that you think. Your face is round and that is easer to work with than a long one like mine.

2. You are on your own with this one. I have letters around here and information that you can rework to match your fathers personality but there is no sure thing.

3. The transition should take as long as needed. I actively worked toward mine over a 3 year period from working on my image to SRS. I was on hormones a couple of years longer but the changes were so small that presenting as male wasn't much of a problem.

4. Yes. I would be very worried if you weren't scared. The life changes and SRS aren't for everybody and a little fear is healthy in that it keeps you examining the alternative. I had fear up to the moment the lights went out for SRS surgery but the fear was gone when I first woke up.

Dena and all really good responses. Thanks from someone who reads with many of these concerns as well.

Might I add(Sorry to hi-jack Laurette), I really like your new avatar Dena.

With warmth,

Joanna