Because at this point it's fairly obvious a girl lives in my apartment. I could probably make the case that it's a girl plus a guy. But there are too many pieces of clothing, nail polish bottles, cosmetics, and pink sheets to deny her presence entirely.

I am pretty much an honesty is the best policy person so I think you may want to think about coming out. The only other real option is a massive cleanup but that isn't any fun

What's stopping you from coming out?

I would keep people away as much as you can, make sure if people are coming over its a plan thing and you've got time to pack stuff away.

Right now the biggest thing is I'm being a protective big sister. My sister and her husband both live with my parents, and I don't want to make their living situation awkward if my parents turn on me hard. The plan is to give them a few months to find a home of their own.

Luckily, my parents rarely come to my place. I usually go over there. It's a concern, but mostly I was just gushing about how me my apartment has become.

Then your only option may be to be somewhere else when they come over unless they have the key to your apartment.

Quote from: Dena on August 21, 2015, 09:37:59 PM
Then your only option may be to be somewhere else when they come over unless they have the key to your apartment.

They do... its been my number one fear, actually. To be fair, they've had it a year and never used it, and I think they respect my privacy enough to not use it, but I can't know for sure. If they did break that trust, it would mean the relationship is much weaker than I think it to be.

Then as we used to say, you might be in deep do do 

Well unless its all skewed all over the place like a whirlwind hit everything and its just scattered all around I see no issues of having to "hide" all the girl clothes, nail polish, etc...
Unless you have your clothes scattered as such or have a fashion sense of having manikins dressed as per your next outfit for the next day, if it is all in respective closed drawers that should be well out of sight. If you need more privacy to your clothes consider a closed hamper or translucent or opaque laundry bag for dirty linens and clothes. On the note for the nail polish and other make up if you have that, should be in closed drawers either in your room, or wherever you may have it tucked away for it to be out of sight per se. I'd suggest that if you have a linens closet, do not stick it in there as while you have guests, that would be an open as you grab towels for showers thing, I would suggest a drawer that would be in your room to stash that away, as being neat and organized. And as for the sheets/linens/blankets, everyone has their own preferences of colors and what to have on their bed. If they say anything questioning pink sheets and flowery blankets, just say you liked the pattern.

Heck, while I was in Army advanced job training for six months, there was one guy, straight as a 2 by 4, who decided to dress his bed in pink sheets and strawberry shortcake blankets with cupcake pillows.

Just be honest and not try and hide it, unless you still need time to figure things out before saying anything. Good luck and I hope things would turn out well.

Kate <3

you can always put a dead bolt lock on the door. Since you say they have never used the key they will never know . If they ask you about the lock then 1 you know they tried getting in and 2 you just say you wanted the extra protection.

   Sizing up your situation, it might be best to do what Stephanie said and possibly change the locks/put a deadbolt on it, I don't know how sensitive apartment people are when you put holes in their doors, but changing the key needed for the lock might be viable if you ask the owner/landlord, whatever you call the person that owns the complex, and say you're worried about someone having your key or something.

The truth will set you free.



I can't emphasize enough the wisdom of these words. It takes so much effort to perpetuate deception that it can destroy the person trying to do it.

Tell them who you are. It will be far easier on you.

I think I figured it out. I'm going to hold position.

I don't want to come out quite yet, because I don't want to cause my sister any problems if I can avoid it. That said, I'm not going to hide my life in my own home. I lived in fear and denial too long. If they choose to invade my privacy, then I'll have to trust that my sister will understand me coming out at that point.

Thanks for all the advice, all!