Hello! I have a few questions on finding a therapist...

[backstory]
I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I almost definitely need therapy.  I've been in and out of it since I can remember pretty much.  My dad was a shrink... so I was sent to gender therapy very young. Not to change me just to figure me out... I hated it and they stopped making me go.  Ever since then I've hated therapy.  Every single time.  Every single therapist.  When I was forced to go... when I chose to go.  It doesn't seem to make a difference.  I guess you could say I have a therapist complex or phobia almost, but I know I'm beyond depressed and could probably use professional help. 

So here are my questions:
How does a person find a therapist they can connect with? 

Does anyone know of any online trans therapists who are themselves trans? 
I feel like cis people cannot possibly give me advice on my issues, but I know there are no trans groups or trans therapists (who are themselves trans) in my little southern town I'm currently stuck living in. 

How do you allow yourselves to trust your therapist? Especially in an online situation where sessions could easily be recorded, and typed text sent over the web is something that potentially can be recalled re-read by anyone with access or the know-how... am I just paranoid? Every time I see a therapist I clam up and keep my problems to myself.. I just can't bring myself to spit them out.... this usually leads to therapist wondering why I'm even there and sometimes even calling me immature... because thats going to make me want to come back.........

Best way I have found is word of mouth here. Put out a call for referrals here for whatever part of the world you are in and someone will be along. I found mine at Oklahoma State University so I knew I could trust them being alumni.

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193755.msg1727670.html#msg1727670

You might ask them:
-how they see their role
-how long it usually takes until a letter for hrt
-how much experience they have with transgender people
There are often reviews online, you might look there.


hugs

Ive searched up a bunch of sites for a doctor.. Susan's was one of them. Most of all of them were really expensive and if u are on a fixed income an dont have insurance then "your ->-bleeped-<- out of luck". Anyways, three sessions is the requirement to get your hormone replacement paper so then there will be more "out of pocket" expense to get your hormone replacements an as of a few months 3-5. Then starting the process -online or in person - estrogen pills. Preferably in person over the counter. $$$.  An there u gain enough tissue around the chest and find and or have doctor for breast augmentation/surgery.$$$$$$!!

Hi Woodjoseph, welcome to Susan's. It's true transitioning isn't cheap and therapy is just one of the expensive parts that add up over time. Have you tried taking a look at maybe a college or clinic in your area. Some places may have a way of keeping the cost down for you. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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Quote from: woodjoseph23 on August 21, 2015, 10:43:33 PM
Most of all of them were really expensive and if u are on a fixed income an dont have insurance then "your ->-bleeped-<- out of luck".

Really? Mine are free at the University and you do not have to be a student. If one looks hard enough they can find one affordable.

Therapist? Or, a for real Gender Therapist?

I found that there is a BIG difference in the two I've seen. Not a large sample pool but....

If you aren't near a big metro area, a Gender Therapist may be difficult to impossible to find. Next best is someone with experience with TG clients. Hopefully not just what I call "A Rubber Stamper". AKA a therapist solely for your HRT CYA letter.

Local TG support groups are the best places for personal recommendations, and getting a bit more honest evaluation in a face to face referral vs a here's one to try email. A state level, perhaps county if there is one, Trans or LGBT group may offer up leads to T friendly therapist. Also, do not overlook your local PFLAG chapter which may have leads.

The only time I ever saw a therapist before the age of 50 was when mom shanghaied me when I was like 14-16ish, after finding and disappearing my stash of clothes for the second or third time. You for sure know the drill. A therapist's only hope of helping you is by you being totally open and honest with them. While you in turn being totally open and honest with yourself. Especially when asked the hard questions you so much want to avoid even thinking about hearing, much less answering. This is where knowing you're seeing, at the very least, a T-friendly therapist and one who just didn't take a course 10 years ago where they spent a class on it helps.