What keeps me going is the fact that when I do pass away, Ill be who I am. Yes I believe in god, jesus, heaven and on. I read and heard when you go there you look around 22 or 24. Well that works for me but you also are happy and if I had to live as a boy forever, I would NOT be happy and god and jesus wants you happy. This is why I believe so much Ill be turned into a girl fully. This brightens my day up soo much when I think about this.

Transitioning wouldnt work for me here. Puberty did alot of damage and it costs money, surgery is painful and many many other things. It wouldnt work. In heaven, Id be turned into a girl and live just like any other girl does while retaining the memories of me as a boy here on earth. It's what I want. Again thinking and knowing this will happen is what makes me keep going and happy. It's faith that things will get right for me.

They are beliefs well worth having Larisa. I believe the same.
Ciara

This got me through years of pain, but a crisis of faith where I no longer believe that an afterlife is probable has caused significant panic attacks.

It is a nice thought Larisa, it really is... but i feel that no matter how much you put your faith into god, in reality only you can make your dreams come true..  when i was younger i done the same thing. Sat on the bottom of my bed and prayed.. after years of praying i knew i needed to do something myself because god wasnt listening to me.. and this damaged my faith and my belief...

But that may be just me... xxx

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

I won't tell you how to go about this, it's your life and your belief system. I will say that a lifetime is a long time to wait to be happy, even if you're absolutely certain it's going to happen in the afterlife. Surgery is expensive and painful, but so is unhappiness. I'd suggest at least talking to a therapist, to get your mental life squared away, even if you can't fathom the physical changes.

I so forgot to write. Yes it's what I want but more than anything I want to live as a girl. I always have but there's so many reasons why not now but ya it's a long time. It makes it seem longer for me considering how much I want to be living fully as a girl.

It's not just that it's expensive and painful transitioning like surgery but it's also not gonna change the past of me living with a boy body. That's part of why it would never fix that or make it better. I dont even want to be a transgender girl, I just want to be a girl like any other girl. That's what I want. Im not ashamed of being transgender but ya.

It's hard being around girls knowing like say they can wear this oh but Im not allowed for I look like a boy. It happens when I work and anywhere and yes it's tough for me. It's that of what makes it hard for me to. Unless you are transgender, someone can't understand it fully.

I say do what makes you happy, if you want to live as a girl then all means live like a girl, that doesn't mean you have to go through the surgeries, the therapy ect ect. Live how you want don't let anyone stop you from being your true self. But I don't understand then you say '' it's not going to change the past of you living as a boy'' Of course changing isn't going to change that, me living and wanting to change to live my life as a male doesn't change the fact that I was born a female, but I believe that my soul was put into the wrong body and what truly will make me happy will be my transitioning but it will never change my past, I can only create a new future.

This might be the wrong ''side'' since it's more of a FTM video but these people talk about how society says they aren't trans enough cause they don't want to fully transition. I hope this helps you c: just live how you want to let no one tell you different.

Quote from: Larisa1983 on September 01, 2015, 07:39:38 PM
It's not just that it's expensive and painful transitioning like surgery but it's also not gonna change the past of me living with a boy body. That's part of why it would never fix that or make it better. I dont even want to be a transgender girl, I just want to be a girl like any other girl. That's what I want. Im not ashamed of being transgender but ya.

It is your decision to make and not mine but I decided differently. I understood I wouldn't be happy without treatment and most likely wouldn't remain alive. I looked pretty male and I understood I might not pass well but I decided to take the risk for happiness. Post surgically I am still aware of my past but people treat me as a woman. They are amazed that a  woman has a mind that most men don't have. I am no longer troubled with transexual feeling and I don't consider myself to be anything other than a woman. Yes it would be nice to have a set of XX chromosomes but what I have is the next best thing and I am happy almost every moment I am awake.

I see far to many people on this web site who did what you are attempting to do. Some may hide their feelings from themselves for the remainder of their life but far to many have them bow up latter in life. The question you need to answer is are you willing to live the remainder of your life with the pain you now feel or would you like a shot at happiness. I hope you decide on happiness and explore the different lifestyles to learn where you truly belong. Surgery might not be right for you but I don't think you current life is either.

Hi-

It's your life and you are in charge regardless of your religion or faith.  Things occur when you are involved. Have you ever noticed how when something happened to you that you really liked or disliked, you were there and involved. 

Having worked with lots of trans-people (mostly MTFs), it seems those who settle for half measures, unless  they are gender queer which is way different, can usually mange to get by . . . if getting by is what you want out of life, then go for it.  Just recognize what you asked for; of course, you can change your mind and go further too.  You have my deepest respect for being a person of faith; it's admirable. 

I say this not to influence you, but to offer words of insight from my experiences working with trans-folks for several years as part of a medical collaborative that serves the trans-community.

Is all this hard, expensive, painful, . . . maybe.  However, maybe it's exciting, fulfilling, wholesome . . . how it is, is 95% about how you choose to see it.  Are there challenges - many and that's life when playing full out on the court versus being on the sidelines watching.  Hey, watching can be fun too . . . it's all about what you truly want.

Take good care and much love,

R

Quote from: Larisa1983 on August 21, 2015, 10:03:08 PM
Transitioning wouldnt work for me here. Puberty did alot of damage and it costs money, surgery is painful and many many other things.

You do know you can transition and be yourself without surgery, right? It's okay to be yourself no matter what shape/size/form your body is in. Yes, your transition wouldn't be perfect, but in this world, what really is? At least you would get to be yourself.