Hello..Um I don't know where to start since this subject is very touchy for me so I guess I'll start with introducing myself. I go by Gage I am going on 31 ( please don't judge that it's took me this long to finally come to terms with my gender its been rough for me ) my family( minus my father I have not come out as gay to him yet nor does he know about my transition due to his rude comments towards me already) are really supportive and all for my change but still are having difficulties with my new name and the gender pronouns which kinda drives me nuts and frustrates me I know it's going to be hard for them but it kinda still bugs me. Anyways..as a small child I knew I didn't really fit in I wasn't the typical little girl that my parents thought I was I never really did the typical girly things I was more ''tom boyish '' but as I started coming into my teens since I was born into a really religious family I hid behind a private facade trying to be what ''society '' and my parents wanted me to be, I did the whole girly thing which I never really was comfortable with being something I was not, I always knew I was into females as I have felt they were more sexually and physically attractive but again pushing that aside for everyone else and ignoring how I felt on the inside and yes I was very depressed I did date men well into my 20's and no by choice I had two beautiful little boys from it, I never wanted kids but I will never regret them. Anyways further more ..after a very depressing and abusive relationship that tore me inside and out I came true to myself, ignoring what society wants me to act and be like and be more of what I truly believe I am A MALE. As I right this I am kinda in tears cause like I say this has always been a very touchy subject for me I've been judged where ever I go and I would just like a little support on how to go about transitioning. I live in Vancouver Canada just recently moved from Alberta I am looking support to start transition like I mentioned..like where do I start? I have already started binding and dressing in things I feel more comfortable in. but I want to go further with my transition like changing my name on my birth certificate and government ID to having full top and bottom surgery.. also I have a lot of questions like the whole therapy thing and so forth ( sorry if I sound like I am all over the place in here I am just really nervous and its been a hard week for me) umm soo yeah if anyone can please give me some tips. answers or anything that would help me out please feel free to comment. it would be greatly appreciated thank you.

Welcome to Susan's place. I don't go there much but you are interested in forms containing FTM. The guys over there are real friendly and helpful. They will be able to help you with appearance issues. Things like therapy can be handled most anywhere because it's the same for both directions. I am in the United States but there are a number of people from Canada that might be able to direct you to therapy. You want a therapist that deals in gender issues and now days there are many of them around. If you aren't happy with the first one you find, look for one you are comfortable with. There will be a number of things you will want to address in therapy and having somebody you are comfortable with is important. Feel free to ask any additional questions you have on this thread or any of the other threads dealing with topics you are interested in.

Thank you Dena for the helpful information..Where exactly do I go for the FTM thread or where you were trying to direct me? I'm sorry this forum is very new to me so I apologize.

Quote from: Batmanlovr on August 21, 2015, 04:38:44 PM
Thank you Dena for the helpful information..Where exactly do I go for the FTM thread or where you were trying to direct me? I'm sorry this forum is very new to me so I apologize.

No problem. Top of the screen, click on form then scroll down the screen to community conversations. There are several headers in there that might be of interest.

Hey, Batmanlovr.

It took me 46 years to find the real me.

Paula, <3 X.

Thank you again Dena your very helpful and I greatly appreciate it c:

@Paula it's really good to know that I am not the only one, I was kinda scared about that maybe I would be judged by how long it took me to find my true self even tho I was never comfortable in my own skin it took me a while to actually be true to myself and not act or try to be someone that community figured I should be.

Hi Gage 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

Thank you soo much I will indeed check out those links

your all soo helpful!! <3

Hi Gage, welcome to Susan's. I know it's scary especially when we first start out. Please feel free to ask questions. After all we are here to help. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Good evening Mariah I apologize for the late reply back I am having a really off day it's been kind of an emotional roller coaster today but thank you soo much. I posted in the transition thread so I hope that really helps and I am still trying to look over the net to find a doctor to push me in the right direction for all this stuff since I live on the Island in Vancouver and really don't have the funds to go to the main land. but I hope to see you around also everyone here is soo nice, I hope you have a wonderful evening.

Hugs c:

Don't worry about being late to the party, I am 51 and have just got here myself. I am certainly not the oldest. I am MTF but I do understand how painful and terribly hard it is to even talk about. Makes it even more difficult when you are not believed by someone you care about.  You are among kindred souls here which ever end of the spectrum you are. Nobody here will judge you, the stuff I found out whilst here has helped me gain the courage to go through with my conviction, Take heart and take care

Sarah T

Introduction to the community brings out all sorts of emotions. My coming out was about 36 years ago and I still remember the two weeks I spent sorting through all the emotions I felt. Just remember we know what is going through your mind because we were once there ourself and you are always welcome here.

Quote from: sarahtokes on August 22, 2015, 12:00:50 AM
Don't worry about being late to the party, I am 51 and have just got here myself. I am certainly not the oldest. I am MTF but I do understand how painful and terribly hard it is to even talk about. Makes it even more difficult when you are not believed by someone you care about.  You are among kindred souls here which ever end of the spectrum you are. Nobody here will judge you, the stuff I found out whilst here has helped me gain the courage to go through with my conviction, Take heart and take care

Sarah T

I think what scared me the most due to my age was that would I still be accepted into the community, but as I have found on here that isn't the issue I noticed that age really doesn't matter that it takes time to come to find your true self, Also the fact that I have small children kinda scared me as well, what would they think about my transition??would they push themselves away??, but that again was eased when I sat down and had a heart to heart talk with them. now I'm just in a dis-ray of emotion most of it when I look in the mirror and I see the body I don't want looking at me, the fact that when I do get called '' auntie '' or by my birth giving name by loved ones, or when I am walking down the street and almost getting ran over by some kid on a skateboard and getting '' oh I'm sorry miss '' it just makes me want to start the process even faster. I know it's going to take a lot of work and my emotions probably are going to fly during the process, even talking about it makes me all emotional sometimes some days more then others. I'm glad to know that I am finally in a place here that I can open up to since normally I am locked away in my room hiding from everyone else cause I am not comfortable with in my body yet, that I can find people going through the same things I am and won't be judged unlike the people at the mall, the grocery store or other public places, I am among people I can relate to and I can be myself. I wish you a wonderful evening Sarah I think it's time I take myself to bed lol c:

Quote from: Dena on August 22, 2015, 12:29:01 AM
Introduction to the community brings out all sorts of emotions. My coming out was about 36 years ago and I still remember the two weeks I spent sorting through all the emotions I felt. Just remember we know what is going through your mind because we were once there ourself and you are always welcome here.

It took me till I was 28 to come fully out to my family and it was at thanksgiving dinner I finally announced it, thankfully it was my mothers side of the family ( mom and dad got divorced when I was 13) and they are more acceptable to my decision, where my father was kinda negative about me even wearing guys clothing he does not know about me wanting to transition or that I am into females, he even had a fit about me being a vegan. but I agree it's been a real roller coaster ride since I have come out to my mom me and her will have long car rides and I will break down in a mist of conversation about me wanting to go through with surgeries and going on T but thankfully I have her support she is the best mom I could ever ask for, and this site has been nothing but helpful and kind towards me since I registered a few hours ago. Thank you all for your warm wishes and kind hearts and I wish you all a good night.     

One thing is very apparent,  be it increasing social acceptance, the influence of the internet, our genetics or whatever the cause of TG maybe, there is a dramatic increase in the number of trans*people 'coming out'. This is seen in children and in adults and is swamping the medical providers that we need to assist us in our journeys.

I realised I was female when I was a child, but 50 odd years ago being transgender was not something that parents, medics or anyone generally knew about. So I, as so many others, suffered a life of hiding myself, using harmful behaviour to kill the pain and nights and days racked with fear and depression.

I transitioned when I was 58 - largely due to this site and its members who gave me hope and support. Now? My cisfriends are just amazed how happy and how different I am, my close friends have told me that I must have been in a living Hell, I was!

But things do get better, transitioning for either men or women isn't easy but it is a path that works for so many of us. Batmanlovr, you have faced and tackled the biggest hurdle we all have, accepting that you are trans* and need to live your life as the man you are. Yes we grab support where we can get it, your Mum sounds great! But we also need to realise that many will not accept us, and we have to deal with that and it is, to my mind, important that we have a strategy in place. Mine was very simple, I didn't and I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I transitioned to save my life and my sanity. No one who criticises me has a clue what my life was. They are not TG so can never understand.

Jeez 31! You spring chicken you!!

And Hey, welcome to this wonderful site

Cindy

Big warm welcome to Susan's Gage

I knew who I was at 4, understood it at 5, fell into sever Dysphoria over anatomy soon after 5 till mid to late teens!
Got married and had kids/grandkids, Was mid to late forties before I realised I could actually change, now at 62 I am well on the way...

As Cindy said, resources, awareness and acceptability is so much better now than when I was under forty... If I had this knowledge eon's ago, I would have not been through pain... well not for as long 

I wish you well on your journey and look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy 

Quote from: Cindy on August 22, 2015, 02:25:54 AM
One thing is very apparent,  be it increasing social acceptance, the influence of the internet, our genetics or whatever the cause of TG maybe, there is a dramatic increase in the number of trans*people 'coming out'. This is seen in children and in adults and is swamping the medical providers that we need to assist us in our journeys.

I realised I was female when I was a child, but 50 odd years ago being transgender was not something that parents, medics or anyone generally knew about. So I, as so many others, suffered a life of hiding myself, using harmful behaviour to kill the pain and nights and days racked with fear and depression.

I transitioned when I was 58 - largely due to this site and its members who gave me hope and support. Now? My cisfriends are just amazed how happy and how different I am, my close friends have told me that I must have been in a living Hell, I was!

But things do get better, transitioning for either men or women isn't easy but it is a path that works for so many of us. Batmanlovr, you have faced and tackled the biggest hurdle we all have, accepting that you are trans* and need to live your life as the man you are. Yes we grab support where we can get it, your Mum sounds great! But we also need to realise that many will not accept us, and we have to deal with that and it is, to my mind, important that we have a strategy in place. Mine was very simple, I didn't and I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I transitioned to save my life and my sanity. No one who criticises me has a clue what my life was. They are not TG so can never understand.

Jeez 31! You spring chicken you!!

And Hey, welcome to this wonderful site

Cindy

Good morning Cindy, well more like afternoon but I just woke up haven't been sleeping very well lately but that's okay. Anyways I understand the pain of hiding I lived through that and now at 31 I am hoping that I too will finally be happy, your right about this site it's full of lots of support and really kind people I'm happy to hear that they helped you along with your journey. I understand also that I know there are people out there that won't accept me for who I am but I am not as strong as you are, I will learn this over time to get over my fears of what people will think of me maybe when I am actually more comfortable with my own body that confidence will come and I'll finally be happy.

lol tho I kind don't feel like a spring chicken today xD my lupus is acting up and my bones and joints ache so bad

Thank you Cindy I hope you have a wonderful afternoon

Gage

Quote from: katrinaw on August 22, 2015, 08:35:02 AM
Big warm welcome to Susan's Gage

I knew who I was at 4, understood it at 5, fell into sever Dysphoria over anatomy soon after 5 till mid to late teens!
Got married and had kids/grandkids, Was mid to late forties before I realised I could actually change, now at 62 I am well on the way...

As Cindy said, resources, awareness and acceptability is so much better now than when I was under forty... If I had this knowledge eon's ago, I would have not been through pain... well not for as long 

I wish you well on your journey and look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy 

I have been researching a lot last night and I finally found a therapist even though she's on the mainland and not here on the island where I am it will be worth it to travel across the ocean to go see her and start my journey hopefully!! but thank you Katy for your warm wishes and I look forward to seeing you again around Susan's as well.

Gage