Which behaviours/mannerisms specific to your birth sex are difficult to shed? In general or just difficult for you personally.

One of mine that's not only unmanly, but ridiculously girly: I gush over the cute stuff. Mostly animals, but also babies, and pretty inanimates, too "awwww, they just don't make dogs any cuter than that!" "awwww, how precious!"  I don't know that I really care to shed this, but it's definitely unseemly for a man.



*Note - let's please refrain from the 'behaviours and mannerisms aren't gendered' argument. Whether true or not, society has labeled certain behaviours and mannerisms masculine and feminine.*

I really have no desire to change my baritone singing voice. Suffice to say, that conflicts with being perceived as female.

y2g

Quote from: Nero on December 09, 2007, 11:46:43 AM
Which behaviours/mannerisms specific to your birth sex are difficult to shed? In general or just difficult for you personally.

One of mine that's not only unmanly, but ridiculously girly: I gush over the cute stuff. Mostly animals, but also babies, and pretty inanimates, too "awwww, they just don't make dogs any cuter than that!" "awwww, how precious!"  I don't know that I really care to shed this, but it's definitely unseemly for a man.

I wonder if it's the estrogen that does that?  Otherwise, maybe you'd just be quietly amused by kittens and babies.

Just wondering.

I care about hair. My hair, the lady next door's hair, everyone's hair. I cut and dye my own on a (overly) regular basis, always make styling suggestions to other people and have a tendency to dye my own pink far too often to coincide with a male image. XD

Thankfully, when I tell other people that I'm gay, people respond with "Well, that explains it." lol

My mannerisms have always been correct for the way I am and I didn't need to change anything, but they were wrong for the persona I had before when people usually usumed I was gay..

The tendency to want to use a 2x4 instead of reason.  It just gets to the point so much faster, but it seems so un-ladylike.

I guess the main thing would be my urge to "protect" or help women. You know, like carry packages, lift things, hold open doors, clean snow off cars, fix things, etc. I know women do that too, but there's a distinctly male-ish feeling of duty (in a good, noble way) to protect the "weaker sex" (don't hate me, you know what I mean).

And on the flip side, I still feel undeserving of receiving that privilege myself.

~Kate~

I've lost so much upper body strength
that I now wish someone would open the subway
doors. They are HARD to open because of
the difference in pressure between the metro
system and the outside. Its even worse during
the winter where the cold outside air has an
even lower air pressure.

Quote from: tekla on December 09, 2007, 02:09:46 PM
The tendency to want to use a 2x4 instead of reason.  It just gets to the point so much faster, but it seems so un-ladylike.

LOL  <wiping off beverages from laptop>

y2g

Quote from: y2gender on December 09, 2007, 04:43:04 PM

Quote from: tekla on December 09, 2007, 02:09:46 PM
The tendency to want to use a 2x4 instead of reason.  It just gets to the point so much faster, but it seems so un-ladylike.

LOL  <wiping off beverages from laptop>

LOL, well just make sure the 2x4 is appropriately accessorized (I'm thinking a nice fabric treatment of some sort), and keep your pinkey extended when swinging...

~Kate~

Quote from: Nero on December 09, 2007, 11:46:43 AM
One of mine that's not only unmanly, but ridiculously girly: I gush over the cute stuff. Mostly animals, but also babies, and pretty inanimates, too "awwww, they just don't make dogs any cuter than that!" "awwww, how precious!"  I don't know that I really care to shed this, but it's definitely unseemly for a man.

Many, many men do this. In fact, very few don't. At my work, I see like twenty different people and their pets every day. It's true that men and women gush over cuteness differently, but they all do it. Women coo and baby-talk, men seldom do, men more often make complementary but humourous comments about the cuteness, men are more likely to talk to the cute puppy about how cute it is than to talk to others about it. If there's a puppy in the waiting room, and a bunch of people, it is obvious that everyone present wants to go over and pet and cuddle it. Men are just shy about it, while women are more likely to actually do it.

Weirdly, very strongly masculine looking and acting men are more likely to go goo-goo over pets. The quiet-tough-guy husband of one of my co-workers falls in love with every dog he sees and adores them in a little-girly kinda way, (but without cooing) he's totally taken and would be chest-deep in dogs if he had his way. Scary-lookin' biker guys will actually burst into tears, scream, and run out of the room when they learn that their dog is dying. Your average-looking sensitive heath-food-store-shopping guy will just sniffle. I think it's just that biker-guys allow themselves to be publically passionate.

Anyway, your habit isn't a birth-sex habit, it's a human habit that most men are socialized out of, and cruelly so.

------

Mine is, well. When I deal with authority figures (like the cops or airport security inspectors) I suddenly find myself play-acting a nice, friendly, respectable, pretty woman, to the hilt. Brightly innocent and accomodating, and my gestures become feminine. It's probably wise of me, since when I act like myself my female-body means that the result is people finding something about me to be off-kilter and suspicious, but I always feel like I've betrayed myself after.

Biker guys can cry because like who is going to call them on it?  Go ahead, walk up and ask them if they are a sissy.  I suppose I could notify your next of kin for you.

Perhaps if I paint my 2x4 pink, perhaps some gemstones set in it?  A little lace trim perhaps?  And of course as anyone who has tried to do it knows, you can't use reason to get someone out of a belief they did not use reason to get themselves into.

And I think that the strong (regardless of gender) should protect the weak (regardless of gender).  It might even be their duty on a moral and ethical level.  Humans should hold doors open for other humans, when they have a full burden for sure.  I hold door open for like FedEx guys, they don't seem shamed by it.

And since I can fix things I wind up doing it all the time, for girls and for guys.  And I know plenty of guys who if you gave them a power tool you better get a MapQuest to the closest emergency room.  And I know lots and lots of girls who can hand cut a plumline mark with a circular saw like the true goddess they are.  Skill is not a gender deal at all.  That nonsense belongs in the posting about myth.  You would have thought that the WWII experience of Rosie the Riveter would have put a stop to that, but I see a lot of what has happened since then - both in the rejection of woman at work, as well as the rejection of science by the American Fundys as a reaction to that.

Given that I'm not sure there are all that many mannerisms that are related to birth gender.  I think most of them are given by culture and nurture.

Quote from: Kate on December 09, 2007, 04:47:35 PM

LOL, well just make sure the 2x4 is appropriately accessorized (I'm thinking a nice fabric treatment of some sort), and keep your pinkey extended when swinging...

~Kate~

Of course, one could always give someone a good wallop with their purse. Especially one of those "old lady" purses that weighs a few tons.  >

y2g

everything about me!  i'm just so manly  >

Quote from: y2gender on December 09, 2007, 06:30:32 PM

Quote from: Kate on December 09, 2007, 04:47:35 PM

LOL, well just make sure the 2x4 is appropriately accessorized (I'm thinking a nice fabric treatment of some sort), and keep your pinkey extended when swinging...

~Kate~

Of course, one could always give someone a good wallop with their purse. Especially one of those "old lady" purses that weighs a few tons.  >

y2g

The older a woman gets, the heavier her purse.  What's up with that?   

Quote from: Rebis on December 09, 2007, 09:24:20 PM

Quote from: y2gender on December 09, 2007, 06:30:32 PM

Quote from: Kate on December 09, 2007, 04:47:35 PM

LOL, well just make sure the 2x4 is appropriately accessorized (I'm thinking a nice fabric treatment of some sort), and keep your pinkey extended when swinging...

~Kate~

Of course, one could always give someone a good wallop with their purse. Especially one of those "old lady" purses that weighs a few tons.  >

y2g

The older a woman gets, the heavier her purse.  What's up with that?   

all those thing she's accumulated over the years.

It hasn't seemed hard, but then I spoz someone other than me would be the best judge of that.

What's been much more difficult is either losing loose muscle and fat in my tummy or getting my breasts to starting growing rapidly again.

O, other women have that same problem as they age as well?

Nevermind.

I believe that my speech causes me problems.  Maybe it doesn't but I feel conscious of it.

I was born and reared in the hard coal country of northeastern Pennsylvania.  The local accent is hurtful to the ears and hard to neutralize. 

I also lived in the male gender for 51 years and during that time I have gathered words and expressions that seem to be masculine or from the military.  I served in the Coast Guard. 

If I watch my pronunciation, inflection, and syncopation I feel comfortable.  After a time it becomes automatic, however, for me it can easily revert to "mantalk."  I also watch my hand gestures and facial expressions.

I never walked like a woman before and I enjoy feeling my hips and bum tell me that they're there but I must check now and then and watch how my feet take a step.

That's about it for me.

Wing Walker
No, I do *NOT* sashay when I walk!  LOL@ myself!!!

I'm not exactly sure, actually. No one has pointed out anything and I haven't noticed anything. I won't say I'm perfect or anything -- I'm probably far from it. But I guess it's a good sign if it's not something that's totally obvious.

I tend to go all moist eyed or cry when I see or hear something really beautiful. I've got a recording from an organ built out of stalic-pipes, built into a rock, that makes me cry. Or seeing kids and parents playing, parents explaining autumn to three year olds, dogs running happy - lots of little everyday stuff. Not very manly, but not something to shed.