I've been seeing a lot of trans people lately fighting to get acceptance from family.  It is a struggle worth undergoing, but sometimes reality requires us to "accept the things we cannot change.

I began my transition over five years ago.  My blood family has been far from accepting....actually, rather transphobic.  I hsve kept minor contact with them over these years, though I havent actually visited them in person in at least four years.  Three days ago I finally had to posed an ultimatum.  Their consistant disrespect is a source of fuel for my largely conquered dysphoria and very psychologically damaging.  I told everyone their options: to either begin using the right pronouns and name or to cease all contact until such time that they are prepared to respect my identity.  Across the board eberyone but my mother told me they would continue to use my birth name and call me He, whatever the consequences.  I dont expect them to ever change their minds.

My mom is the one I most feared losing.  She requested two weeks to make a decision, which I took as a good sign.  The next day she texted me "I reviewed your birth certificate. I stand on Truth.  That is your answer."

I was devistated but I think I understand.  I replied with "I reviewed my drivers licence. Sometimes truth isnt as solid as you want it to be.  Sometimes truth changes.  Be careful where you place your feet.  You wouldnt want to fall."

I collapsed on the bed sobbing, when Bob Dylan came on the radio.  My mom has always loved Bob Dylan.  I listened to him sing in disbelief, and on inspiration, sent my mom a lyric from the song

"You better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone, for the times, they are a changin'"

I know these are the last words I will ever say to her.  I bet she will never hear that song again without crying.  I know I wont.

The point of this all is that I made a painful call to stop compromising my needs for others.  I had to for my own mental health.  Sometimes life isnt pretty.  Sometimes we make calls that hurt us and others because its what we have to do.  Im completely devistated right now, but I have my girlfriend, I have my son, and finally, I have my pride.  This is what I am, and this is my life.  Those who can't accept that can get out.  They know where the door is

hugs

Oriah,

It has been a long time since I saw one of your posts on here. I am glad to see you.

You have been through a very difficult struggle. I admire you and although this has been very tough for you today you opened up a new beginning, hugs.

Sorry that you have to go through that.  I like that you sent your Mom the Dylan lyrics.

Big hug! It's their loss.

You're counting the things you do have, not the things you don't. That attitude will get you
everywhere in life. 

Hugs, Devlyn

I'm so sorry I know that feeling it have been a serious issue with me to. Only thing I can say is be strong and be who you are if they really care about you at all they will come around it has taking my brothers for years and they are starting to talk to me so it has been very very hard but my mother has started calling me Lyndsey and she. Hugs to you. [emoji173]️[emoji126]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Oriah,

I too am saddened and sorrowful for your experience. I know it is not the same, but you have family of sorts here that love and respect you.

Without seeming too rose coloured glasses, it aint over yet. People change(as we are all aware  . We can't hold our breath expecting it. However, stranger things happen. It may take years.

I wish you luck and love and the strength to do what is right for yourself.

With warmth,

Joanna

Thanks for the support everyone.  My head is still spinning from all this, but I have to focus on other things.  We are moving out today.  Thanks again everybody.  I love you all

I've been struggling with this as well. I've been choosing to take the high road in the situation as I just see that it cannot be helped.
I'm just dreaming of some miracle... That's about all I can do. Life sucks sometimes. It's a cold, hard reality you just have to face. Though, I do believe it is the hardest things in life we go through that are the most rewarding.

I lost what family I had left. You've got to be you, it's your life. Sorry your mother chose that route . My parents both past a long time ago  My sisters are like the plague. I could give a quadruple damn about what my siblings or anyone else thought . Hopefully your mother will come to her senses. Bob Dylan is one of my favorite. Such a poet.

 I'm so sorry for what you're going through. If it's a comfort, sometimes you prune the family out of necessity regardless of the issue. My fam was perfect with my transition and my life since. The prob tho is they're severely dysfunctional and abusive, so it didn't matter to them what I was long as I was around for the crazy and abuse. Some have died from cancer and others I've just cut out. I've had to work a lot on expanding my circle to outside family...growing up dysfunctional you learn to keep within the family, which is the worst thing to do.
As you you continue you'll meet new people and grow a new healthier circle around you. You are far far better off without toxic people in your life no matter who they are.
Hugs, JS


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm so sorry this happened. I hope she someday comes around. You did what you had to do.
Hugs

I know her pretty well at this point.  I don't think she will ever come around...but at least I have a chance at peace now.  Again, thanks to everyone for the support.