I only accepted my trans-ness a few days ago so things might just be amped up. While waiting for the tram I realized I was getting weirded out anytime a man got within a few feet of me. Even just standing on the train near them felt really weird. Once I recognized it I could mostly ignore it, but I'm worried how I'll feel with hormones. Seeing potential predators everywhere is exhausting, and I don't even have any goods for them to predate.

Just try to relax... take your time...

after some time on hrt peoples orientation might change...
it has to do with becoming comfortable within oneself...
not needing to fight against male parts of the self, within and external... just accepting, and embracing female parts...
and becoming more at ease...

its a process, but many have gone it before...


hugs

Wow. The whole thing about feeling a little nervous about being around men happened to me too.

I feel uncomfatable.
Thats down to my presentation.
Are you, was you, presenting at the time?

Meaning, was you dressed as your preffered identity? Those nearve are somthing evrybody has.

I hope they arnt a transphob
I hope they dont find out
What if they beat me?
Kill me even?
Heck what if im just made a luagthig stock?
PLEAS dont freak out.
I hope if they do notice they keep it to themselves
They might not hurt me, but what if they let that person know?

Alot of these are things we actively worry about, and we grow more comfatable.

Now if your not presenting, and only just accepted yourself as trans, and that is all so far, could your nearves be because you are starting to see them as potention intimate parteners?
Or just now looking upon them in the light of your ultimate goal, and have concerns as to how a males treatment of you will/might change?

I wasn't presenting as female, it'll be a while before I'm comfortable doing that. When I was still in denial I used to say to myself "Look at you, you look ridiculous, you're just a man in a dress." I need to get past that before /i think of going out as myself.

Now that I think about it this actually explains some things. When I was in College and Grad school I had a really bad time chatting up women at bars. I'd see someone I though was cute, go towards her then I'd always sense this huge level of disgust from her and I'd chicken out. I'm guessing I was just picking up on this sort of thing. Now that I think about it I had to talk to a woman as part of a work function, and I got the revulsion at first, but when we actually talked we got along great. I just thought I was this despicable person that no one wanted to be around and could tell just by looking. Now I just know that I was picking up their reflexes, I guess if I had been a real man I would have just talked anyway.

Now that I think about it I've been on tons of first dates, and they never want to get together again, They were looking for a man and could tell I wasn't one.

Eh now I think you're projecting. Don't let a negative self esteem get the best of you. A lot of what you said struck me as familiar to my own experience but getting into talk of being a "real man" is going to be self defeating in the long run for people like us. I can remember revealing years ago to my now wife that I enjoyed dressing in women's clothes and she said back " I want a real man not a girlfriend I go shopping with, our heels click clacking down the concourse of the mall." That single phrase drove me into denial and the closet for 12 years and I'm just now emerging from a very dark place in my life.

I dont consider men to be predatory and am rarely scared by them, but gosh I hate how they invade my private space now everytime I have to stand somewhere for a time being - lines in shopping malls, public transport etc.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on August 30, 2015, 07:58:25 AM
I dont consider men to be predatory and am rarely scared by them, but gosh I hate how they invade my private space now everytime I have to stand somewhere for a time being - lines in shopping malls, public transport etc.

You could try silk clothing, some feel its kind of protective..

and you could try jackets etc to avoid direct contact...


hugs

Quote from: Laura_7 on August 30, 2015, 08:00:46 AM
You could try silk clothing, some feel its kind of protective..

and you could try jackets etc to avoid direct contact...


hugs

Silk clothing? Are You kiddin? And I wear slim fitting denim jacket most of time Well, to be more specific, there is no direct contact (or somebody's balls might be hurting) - it's just that now they tend to stand much closer than before - or that feeling of their hulking presence is more acute - dunno.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on August 30, 2015, 08:34:20 AM
Silk clothing? Are You kiddin? And I wear slim fitting denim jacket most of time Well, to be more specific, there is no direct contact (or somebody's balls might be hurting) - it's just that now they tend to stand much closer than before - or that feeling of their hulking presence is more acute - dunno.

No kidding and there is underwear 

Yes, many say men tend to take up more space...


hugs

It's true, men take up a lot if space. I noticed it early after my self realization. Ever since I've been making a concerted effort to take up less space and "act slim".

IM a bit more self centered then I was, somtimes I find it hard to see my past my own transness, If sombody doesnt lke me it because Im trans sort of thing, Or that If they re nice it is because they dont know.

bUT THIS IS NOT THE CASE

i NEED people to see me as the person I am, And not react to a percieved person, so its only fair I take people as they come too, and not take them as I exspect.

I wonder if as perceived as male other males might keep their distance (our socialized homophobia). But when presenting as female males might feel comfortable/be used to/desire  standing closer to you.
I'm not cis male and have never presented male, but this thought occurred to me reading these posts. I've noticed all around me the distances kept between males as appears to the distances males keep from females. Just imho.


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Quote from: chance on August 31, 2015, 12:35:57 AM
I wonder if as perceived as male other males might keep their distance (our socialized homophobia). But when presenting as female males might feel comfortable/be used to/desire  standing closer to you.
I'm not cis male and have never presented male, but this thought occurred to me reading these posts. I've noticed all around me the distances kept between males as appears to the distances males keep from females. Just imho.


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Yes its true. Men tend to take up more space, other men do that too. If sitting on a 3 person couch usually two men take up the place and spread their arms. 3 women would sit there close together.