I feel like I've been all over this board lately, sorry. Just wondering if anyone else ever struggles w/ feels of guilt or shame for being both LBG(QA+) and T?

I've been out as bi since I was 16 and I was always pretty comfortable with that and with myself. My sexuality had no internal value judgement. But now that I've added gender into the mix... idk. Whenever my family talks to me abt LGBT issues, my guts flip and I get this hot wave of head-to-toe embarrassment. I feel like I've already turned in my one Abnormal Kid Token, and I wasted it on being bi. Now, I'm using up more than my fair share and it's awful. It's hard not to feel selfish, dirty, disgusted at myself. When it comes to gender, romantic, and sexual orientation, I'm not "normal" in a single category. This q***rness isn't what anyone wanted for me. In part because of that, it's certainly not what I wanted for myself and yet I feel like it eclipses everything else about who I am.

Intellectually, I know there's no "tokens" and I truly do know there's nothing wrong with being (lesbian/gay/)bi or trans. Emotionally, though, I'm having a hard time getting past this. Would welcome empathy, advice, a smack upside the head...

Big hug! I'm working out my sexuality and it's confusing. I've got more than a half century under my belt, emotionally I'm OK with things, but my mind dances around a lot on it. How did this happen? How did I not know this? How did that just turn on so easily like a switch?

You know it's OK, that's half the battle. You'll figure out the rest.   

Hugs, Devlyn

PS Smacks upside the head? We roll with branding irons around here! 

Too be honest pre t-blockers I would say I'm bi. Now that my sex drive has been far reduced I feel more lesbian... Is this normal too?... But that's what I have observed and I'm not even on estrogen yet!

Hey Dude I had a similar story of accepting myself and coming out BI and then, what the heck I'm coming out again?   A couple of my family and friends said that same thing and tried to discount "this episode" as just one in a long line of my being out on the fringes.  Another friend asked me if I was trying to be the whole LGBTQ acronym.  I told him I already was

I remain happily on the fringes of their thinking and experience.

I greatly prefer this vastly larger world of color, choice and diversity.

Great philosophers have argued forever about the possibility of true altruism.  We can have a lot of fun while we wait for the final verdict.  Is is really selfish to be honest about who we are??

A lesson I learned a long time ago is once you discover you are transsexual, anything that is considered normal goes out the door. Consider my case of MTF. Normal before surgery would be require I love a woman. Post surgical loving a woman is considered gay. So post surgical I decide to love a man, but that would have been gay before surgery. I fixed them and went with Asexual which isn't normal by almost everybody's standards. Sometimes you have to forget the labels and go with the flow.

Omg dena that is totally true!

Before I realised I was trans, I told my family I was gay, mostly because I had only been interested in dating girls at that point and had briefly dated one friend(whom I'm no longer friends with) and had an online relationship thing with another girl later.
Then I considered myself bi/pansexual(since gender doesnt' really matter to me), but now that I'm out as trans, I honestly have no idea.
I love the thought of being with a guy as a guy, hate the thought of being with a guy as a girl. As a girl, at least I could be the 'guy' in the relationship.

But to answer your question, I've felt no guilt or shame... just confusion. But I'm not as confused about my sexuality as I am with my gender. I'm just of the mindset 'if I like them, I like them'.

Orientation is fluid. I considered myself a straight male until I transitioned. Now I'm magically bisexual!

"Magically bisexual" sounds like a great tagline!

Haha, yeah, figuring out your orientation once gender comes into play is definitely a wild ride. I'm lucky things haven't changed too much for me there.

well I always had to hide myself till recently I never really repressed myself sexually, heck most people assumed I was gay and in a way I guess they where right, but I have always been almost exclusivly attracted to women, I say almost because there are occasional times 2-3 over the years where I found a guy attractive. So no shock or concern on my part.

I will say I don't think its worth it for anyone, much less transgender people to get caught up on lables and naming your sexuality. Love who you love, bed who you would bed, and do what you will, if it causes no harm.

Serena