I never did a proper introduction when I first joined, instead like some of us, I over loaded my "introduction" with problems and questions I was facing, I seem to recall not much got answered at the time till I posted them in the right places but without further delay, it's time for my introduction.
I'm Shana-chan and I'm a lone wolf, in some aspects by choice, but in reality, this was never my choice. While I do have friends online, it's not the same, I can't hang out with them and plus I don't do video chats (with camera and/or microphone) but still chat via text like this. Sadly that's all we EVER do, since nearly all of them don't care to do anything with me, very rarely one will want to play a game online together though. I don't have any friends in real life, despite a few of my co-workers calling me their friend, their actions (both for do and don't do) say otherwise plus, the feeling is not returned, not to mention friends do things outside of work.
I've told nearly my whole family (and soon to be the whole family) of who I really am but none are really supportive and the few that show any signs of support, are extremely iffy about it even contradicting themselves and being non-supportive at times. You can imagine my "Dad" is not supportive at all further not helped by his blinded and brain washed when it comes to his religion/church. My sis who showed the strongest signs of being supportive did a 180 multiple times, playing sides and eventually cut me out of her life, she also cut our "Dad" out of her life too which I can fully understand, just, not cutting me out... I know she has her own issues and such to deal with but, I don't feel she loves me anymore, especially truly love.
It sucks being alone, it's depressing and I really wish I had a girlfriend and eventually wife to spend time with and do things with and to share my life with, on the other hand, most of the time I'm "ok" with being alone, but it does get depressing and scary at times... I wish I had REAL FRIENDS who I can spend time with in real life... I don't think that will ever happen and even if it did, they/I would move away or lose touch somehow... so, like, what's the point in even trying?...
I enjoy watching anime, and playing the occasional game, outside of that, not much else interests me. I don't have much of a life, I do the same old thing most of the time and am too poor/no support to help me out with in getting to places to be able to go anywhere and do things except to the grocery store every 3 weeks. It's not all bad and it's not as bad as it sounds, usually I'm ok with this life style but, it does get to me sometimes. If I hadn't been born with these conditions then things in my life would be better, so too if the people in my life in the past had done things very different and as I said, I didn't choose to be a lone wolf, but the people in my life in the past and even to today are the ones that made me a lone wolf and I certainly didn't use to be one. Oh how I have too many regrets in my life and oh how I wish things were completely different/better.
I guess that's about it, kind of a depressing introduction but hey, it's the right introduction to let you know who I am, what I do and what I've been through. Well, obviously I've been through a TON more than this but this was the short version. I know I haven't been making too many posts in the last year but, I'm still here, been around and occasionally make a post, though I typically just read the news sections these days. I don't know if anyone here even remembers me anymore. lol
