Jessi,
Except for the divorce and I have three teenage daughters, sounds relatively similar to my experience. I was either without a clue or in deep denial till my 50th.
I am going slowly, out to my wife and a few friends and that is about it. I am underdressing, removing as much hair a possible on the body, doing electrolysis, and starting low dosage HRT in a few weeks. My wife is cautiously optomistic and we are staying in touch.
Hope that wasn't TMI. All that really means is I am familiar with much of what you speak. There are a lot of greatly concerned people here.
Welcome, pull up a chair. Let us know if we can get you anything or if you have questions.
With warmth,
Joanna