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Name woes.

Started by Tamika Olivia, September 02, 2015, 09:03:37 AM

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Tamika Olivia

My family seems to be struggling with my choice in name. They feel that it's juvinile, racially inappropriate, will cause problems in a professional setting, and they are hurt that they weren't given the option of naming me.

I like the name. I chose it out of necessity when signing up for this site, and I've looked into its origin and come to love and respect it. It means daughter of the people, it's signifies leadership and pride.

I'm dead set against changing it, and I feel like any name I choose to appease them will eventually lead to resentment. At the same time, I'm wondering if I'm being too stubborn, and that things may flow more smoothly woth my family if I give ground on this poinr.

Anyone dealt with a similar situation before? How did you cope with it?
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FTMDiaries

If it's your name, then it's your name. You've clearly fallen in love with the name and you believe it's the right name for you; your family will need to learn to respect your decision. You should never have to resent your own name: many cis people who resent or dislike their birth names wind up changing them when they're adults, so you're perfectly entitled to live with a name that feels comfortable to you. As a compromise, would you consider allowing your family to pick out your second name? You do, of course, have veto power.

Whenever I hear someone complain that a name is juvenile or unprofessional, I'm reminded of one of my favourite celebrity doctors: Dr Pixie McKenna. Her birth name is Bernadette, but she prefers to be known as Pixie, which is (I believe) a nickname. She's carved out a successful career as a doctor, television presenter and columnist. She's an expert in sexual health, dermatology, women's health and health promotion, and she has a private practice in London's prestigious Harley Street. All this whilst being known as 'Dr Pixie'. She's doing just fine in a professional setting, I can assure you. And in this multiracial, multicultural world, no name belongs to any particular race; we can name ourselves anything we wish.





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