here's one that maybe you can sink your teeth into, Nero.

i just got kindly asked not to attend the biggest family gathering in the family's history.

well!

i know, i should be all like,  and  but i'm actually feeling more like  and  and  >

the thing is, the family never actually gave me male respect, anyway. ya know? that was in the graveyard years before my transition. and those members of my family that do love me, have always accepted me as one of the girls. those who are self-righteously speaking out against me now have always regarded me as a low-ranking female in the family pecking order. there seemed to be some concern that i was going to vociferously object and then crash the party in my girl clothes, pretty jewelry, carefully tended eyebrows, French manicure, and subtle and sexy eye make-up. but what are they thinking? a quiet girl doesn't impose herself in that way. and, also, really just doesn't give a #$@*!

I have accomplised mostly everything in life but despite my happiness, despite the fact that life makes sense now, despite the fact that I have been fortunate to find love once again, there is still one thing which is missing.  I would like to be a mom to my own child.  I don't want to adopt any children (sorry), I want a child of my own, I want to get pregnant and carry my little baby for nine months like all the mothers do.  I know that this will never happen in this lifetime but still..dreaming doesn't cost anything....right?  maybe next time, in another life,  in another dimension, in a different world with a different body.

tink

You may not carry it, but adopted children are just as much yours as the natal ones are.  Its nurture, not nature in the end.

Quote from: tekla on December 10, 2007, 10:28:53 PM
You may not carry it, but adopted children are just as much yours as the natal ones are.  Its nurture, not nature in the end.

Dang it, tekla, that was a very sweet thing to say. you should tell Tink that if she wants to be a momma, she absolutely could do that. the 9 months thing could be great (or not) but the real effort is the 21 years of caring for the little one and watching him or her grow up into a sweet and thoughtful person.

Quote from: Tink on December 10, 2007, 10:22:05 PM
I have accomplised mostly everything in life but despite my happiness, despite the fact that life makes sense now, despite the fact that I have been fortunate to find love once again, there is still one thing which is missing.  I would like to be a mom to my own child.  I don't want to adopt any children (sorry), I want a child of my own, I want to get pregnant and carry my little baby for nine months like all the mothers do.  I know that this will never happen in this lifetime but still..dreaming doesn't cost anything....right?  maybe next time, in another life,  in another dimension, in a different world with a different body.

tink

* with moist eyes* God, our condition does deny us so much. I wish I could give my womb to someone who would use it.
Thank you for sharing, Faery Queen.

Quote from: Tink on December 10, 2007, 10:22:05 PM
I have accomplised mostly everything in life but despite my happiness, despite the fact that life makes sense now, despite the fact that I have been fortunate to find love once again, there is still one thing which is missing.  I would like to be a mom to my own child.  I don't want to adopt any children (sorry), I want a child of my own, I want to get pregnant and carry my little baby for nine months like all the mothers do.  I know that this will never happen in this lifetime but still..dreaming doesn't cost anything....right?  maybe next time, in another life,  in another dimension, in a different world with a different body.

tink

aww   <3

Hello to everyone
I am so happy to have found this site.I am deniz from Greece.Pre op trans. 23 years old.Things are very messy but i keep on fighting.I would like to believe my dreams have not been buried yet, except the one of not having a child.Keep on dreaming.We are the last dreamers of this sleepy planet,I love you all partners

How about the hope of "I'll outgrow this stupid obsession someday, learn to like sex as a hetero male, and become a real man and husband!"

You can sure bury THAT one and stick a stone on it.

Though maybe I never really had much hope for that one...

~Kate~

I don't see why you would deprive yourself of the 20 years of being a parent, just because you can't have the 9 months of pregnancy.  Perhaps its not really the children you want, but something else.  As any parent will be happy to tell you pregnancy for the most part is the easy part of the deal, the next couple of decades where you have to put your life second, third or even less - that's the hard part.  Of course, its also the part that makes the difference.  Its all too easy to be a mother or father, its hard to be mommy or daddy.

Quote from: tekla on December 11, 2007, 03:26:08 PM
I don't see why you would deprive yourself of the 20 years of being a parent, just because you can't have the 9 months of pregnancy.  Perhaps its not really the children you want, but something else.  As any parent will be happy to tell you pregnancy for the most part is the easy part of the deal, the next couple of decades where you have to put your life second, third or even less - that's the hard part.  Of course, its also the part that makes the difference.  Its all too easy to be a mother or father, its hard to be mommy or daddy.

well, i am not a parent and not a female, but there is something about having children who are 'flesh of your flesh'. and women are programmed with the desire to procreate. and there's something sacred about carrying a life inside for 9 months and then through her labor and pain, holding as new being of her own flesh. and the bonding of feeding the child milk from her own body...
barren natal women often share this lifelong sorrow

Quote from: Nero on December 08, 2007, 10:14:38 PM

i want to hear from those who have been robbed of their dreams. i want to hear what you would've done had you been born with correct genitalia all along.

Here's a dream that's not quite dead, but the plot has been dug and the stone carved.  I like to think that were I born properly that I still would have met my wife.  Then I would have been able to treat her as she deserves to be treated, rather than wall myself off and denying her the love and affection I should have given her.

Val

Nero,

When I came out to my parents several years ago my mother was as accepting as she could be.  What I mean is I don't think she realized the implications of what I was saying.  That was even after I told her that if everything worked out she'd have another daughter.  But she did say "Do whatever you need to do to be happy".  I was looking forward to possibly having a new relationship (mother-daughter) with her.  Now, a few years later, I'm done transition, but my dream will never be.  No, my Mom isn't dead, but she is now in early dementia.  As a result she doesn't seem to be aware that I've transitioned.

There have been other disappointments, but that one really hurts.