Right now pre-transition I am 100% straight and attracted to women, I see little to no attraction to having a relationship with a man. However when I think about the future post-transition I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with another woman, but can easily imagine myself with a man.

Is this weird or are there others that think the same way?

I say Not Weird.

Back in my early 20's part of my transition test was how I'd feel being with guys. It was the 70's after all. That aspect wasn't working for me. Fantasy vs Reality, and fantasy lost. The reality for was and mostly still is being sexually attracted to women. Though, these days 6 years of HRT, feeling mostly female, having lived as female, guys look a lot cuter these days in RL and even more so in my dreams

  Totally can relate.Have always been attracted to girls. In my 20's realized not only did I want to be with my girlfriend but I wanted to be her. Weird-o-Meter dialed up a few notches. Somewhere along the way realized the desire to experience what a woman does when she's with a man was rattling around in my brain. Still only attracted to women no attraction to men at all. Weird-O-Meter dialed up a few more notches. Eventually ended up experimenting with men a number of times over the years. Was always in full on girl mode at the time and never allowing the male bits to come to the party. While these adventures pushed all the right buttons mentally; being called my girl name, told I was pretty, sexy ,desirable etc.and I was doing what a girl does ; absolutely no sexual attraction to the man of the moment.       Weird-O-Meter off the scale. So here I am almost 60 and dazed and confused as always, finally going to therapy to try and figure it all out. So short answer your not alone in this.

I can't answer this question. I've been Bi all my life and that hasn't changed.

Quote from: lostcharlie on September 06, 2015, 10:29:49 AM
In my 20's realized not only did I want to be with my girlfriend but I wanted to be her.

Wow... This blows my mind. I never really thought of it like that before but now you say it I realize that is exactly how I feel. I see beautiful women and my attraction isn't towards them, it's towards wanting to be them.

I am having a somehow similar, yet different experience.
My whole life I thought I am attracted to women (I was even married in an arranged marriage at 18, but I would not count this in any way). In the last years I dated several women, and with ALL of them I had the same experience:
We would go on a few dates, I would love it, we would make out (hence, I usually liked the touching part more than the kissing). Then after a few dates we would get intimate in bed. The second that happened, and I found myself in the male role in bed, I got turned off, and it was over.
This happened with each and every girl I was dating.

Finally my therapist helped me realize that I might have never been sexually attracted to girls, I just wanted to be like them.
However, I was never attracted to men. But since I came to terms with myself being a girl, I can see myself being intimate with men, when I am the girl. But even now when I look on guys, I don't find them that attractive in a sexual way. I just started Hrt and am waiting to see if anything will change (in studies, about a third of trans women reported a shift in their sexuality just a few months after being on hrt).

At the same time I can see myself being sexually involved with girls, as in a lesbian relationship, but not if I am the male in the relationship.

Well, I like men. I've only recently started transitioning, but always did. It took some time for me to realize that I'm not a gay bottom, but actually identify with being a heterosexual female. There is a difference. I don't like my male parts to be involved for example.

Quote from: jackeTT on September 06, 2015, 09:50:03 AM
Right now pre-transition I am 100% straight and attracted to women, I see little to no attraction to having a relationship with a man. However when I think about the future post-transition I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with another woman, but can easily imagine myself with a man.

Is this weird or are there others that think the same way?

No, not weird. Pre-transition, I was only attracted to women. Now the idea of being with a man has its attractions.

Not weird really. In fact I did find it weird for me to be attracted to men as a man (so I wasn't) but not weird as a woman.

Oh and I got asked out last week. I found it flattering and validating but in the end I just said no thanks. I'm not ready to date anyway.

I feel the same way.  I consider myself bisexual, leaning straight, but I'm not really interested in a gay or lesbian relationship.  I don't know why, just a preference.  Living as a man, I'd rather be with a woman, but post-transiton, I think I'd rather be with a man.

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Hi Abby;

I have been very much like you. Over the years I have had numerous relationships with women even being married to one and living in long term relationships with a couple. In all my relationships except two, these women have been athletic women with very feminine figures , bust of C or D/DD, nice buttocks and well rounded hips. With all these women I have experienced the same situation. We have gone out, dated, ended up in bed,  had extremely sensuous  relationships (many women have commented how much they enjoy my foreplay and most of my female relationships have ended with me giving oral with for some women multple orgasms, however as soon as I was expected to fulfil the male physical act of penetration my dysphoria kicked in.   I found myself in the male role in bed,  to where my female partner wanted to  touch me and I got turned off, and it was over. This has happened with each and every girl I was dating and with my marriage ending up with her seeking other relationship for penetrative sex and eventually leading me to bleat out that I was TS. my whole life I have only (I thought) been attracted to women. Of course what I really wanted to be was them. The only two exceptions have been a relationship with one woman where we are/were the very best of friends, totally relaxed with each others company, but where there was little attraction for being them and my second relationship with the wife of a polyamory couple where I was treated as the other woman in the house, but treated 100% as a female in a lesbian relationship. This was a for me a truly satisfying relationship.

About 2 years ago after quite a number of sessions with my therapist (a woman) I came to realise that I was probably bi-sexual in that I have always been interested and somewhat sexually attracted to women but as the femme in the relationship where ideally I want to have a relationship with a soft butch woman where they become the dominant one in the relationship  and I am the submissive pone. This was very much the situation with my polyamorous relationship. However since the Oestrogen has  taken its hold onto me (I am now almost 100% hormonally female with T levels under 0.5, I find myself getting more attracted to a certain type of alpha male, where I just want to be sort of scooped up and carried off to bed!.  In fact whereas before I couldn't possibly imagine myself in a female-male relationship, now if I was able to be the dutiful housewife to a good husband, I think I could really be fulfilled both emotionally and sexually.  This could equally though be with a soft butch woman where I would be the submissive one in the relationship.
in a lesbian relationship.

Thanks you Judith for writing this! Makes me feel a bit less confused to know that I am not the only one with this confusing experience!

Quote from: judithlynn on September 07, 2015, 02:05:08 AM
Hi Abby;

I have been very much like you. Over the years I have had numerous relationships with women even being married to one and living in long term relationships with a couple. In all my relationships except two, these women have been athletic women with very feminine figures , bust of C or D/DD, nice buttocks and well rounded hips. With all these women I have experienced the same situation. We have gone out, dated, ended up in bed,  had extremely sensuous  relationships (many women have commented how much they enjoy my foreplay and most of my female relationships have ended with me giving oral with for some women multple orgasms, however as soon as I was expected to fulfil the male physical act of penetration my dysphoria kicked in.   I found myself in the male role in bed,  to where my female partner wanted to  touch me and I got turned off, and it was over. This has happened with each and every girl I was dating and with my marriage ending up with her seeking other relationship for penetrative sex and eventually leading me to bleat out that I was TS. my whole life I have only (I thought) been attracted to women. Of course what I really wanted to be was them. The only two exceptions have been a relationship with one woman where we are/were the very best of friends, totally relaxed with each others company, but where there was little attraction for being them and my second relationship with the wife of a polyamory couple where I was treated as the other woman in the house, but treated 100% as a female in a lesbian relationship. This was a for me a truly satisfying relationship.

About 2 years ago after quite a number of sessions with my therapist (a woman) I came to realise that I was probably bi-sexual in that I have always been interested and somewhat sexually attracted to women but as the femme in the relationship where ideally I want to have a relationship with a soft butch woman where they become the dominant one in the relationship  and I am the submissive pone. This was very much the situation with my polyamorous relationship. However since the Oestrogen has  taken its hold onto me (I am now almost 100% hormonally female with T levels under 0.5, I find myself getting more attracted to a certain type of alpha male, where I just want to be sort of scooped up and carried off to bed!.  In fact whereas before I couldn't possibly imagine myself in a female-male relationship, now if I was able to be the dutiful housewife to a good husband, I think I could really be fulfilled both emotionally and sexually.  This could equally though be with a soft butch woman where I would be the submissive one in the relationship.
in a lesbian relationship.

I found your post to be really interesting and somewhat unsettling because it mirrors my experiences in bed fairly closely.  The only major difference is that I have always simply refrained from intercourse itself.  I've actually really enjoyed that because being the "gatekeeper" of sex is traditionally seen as a role that a woman fulfills.  It's a very different experience for most women, but I'm pretty damn good at other stuff so they have tended not to get upset. Lol...

Anyway, when I first really started to recognize that I had dysphoria in my late teens, I got the notion that I MUST be into guys as well.  So I experimented a bit.  It turns out that while I can very much be visually attracted to guys, I just am not aroused by them.

I'm really only starting out on my journey, so I'll see what happens.  I do, however, wonder if men might start becoming more appealing to me...

Just not alpha males.
Ugh!  Alpha males are the worst!

Well I think I never had real sexual desire for anyone so... Uh.  But I can fantasize pretty efficiently on both men and women, since I was 14 or 15 years old I guess.

Right now I'm in love with a man and also with a woman. But I still can't really tell what is different between love and deep friendship, as I feel deep friendship for both. I think "love" and "friendship" were just made-up terms with no basement that ended up shaping our brain and the reality. But maybe there's a deeper, subtle involvement of the soul, in what we call love. I don't know.

Before transitionning I had a hard time picturing myself with a man. Which is fun because I was probably in love with that one for a long long time ^^" But since I was not able to picture myself in a love relationship with him, we stayed friends.

"Not being able to picture yourself" doesn't mean much. It just means you intellectually can't. It says nothing about the heart. 

I'm attracted to women but could see myself with a guy. I just haven't found the right guy.