Hello,

I think I might be transgender (MTF) and have thought this for sometime now, however I have never dated anyone before. I am only attracted to women, could the thought of being transgender be misplaced with wanting a girlfriend.
Like am I thinking I'm transgender because I am craving femininity?

Please can anyone help me with this? I'm so confused.
Thanks.

Gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation etc. are different things.

You could have a look at the genderbread person:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,185369.msg1650025.html#msg1650025

Well its up to you how you identify, and there is a transgender spectrum.

here are a few resources that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194986.msg1737439.html#msg1737439

After hrt some people change orientation a bit.
Its possible they become more comfortable within themselves and lean a bit more towards liking men too.

All in all very roughly one third of trans women identify as lesbian, one third as straight and one third as bi etc.

As Laura has pointed out, sexuality and gender are not necessarily congruent along traditional lines. Don't worry about that aspect of it. You'll find out soon enough.

Cindi

That genderbread is amazing! Many thanks! 

When you say 'After hrt some people change orientation a bit.' Can it be effected by hormones themselves or is it just the realisation of themselves? Like at the moment I'm 100% sure I'm attracted to women and would be a lesbian if I decided to transition would the hormones change my mind?

Also can sexual thoughts of changing or being turned into female be confused with GI? The thought of being turned into a girl by other girls turns me on. I am confused because I don't know if it is a fantasy or do I really want to identify as a woman.
After climax I don't feel dysphoria any more, but then about 30 mins later I begin to get dysphoria again.

Also many thanks for your help Laura!

You're welcome 

Well imo the hormones have some effect.
This is only in transgender people... there are differences in brains of women and men. There are studies showing that before birth, parts of transgender brains develop along a path the transgender person identifies with... so a mismatch of brain and body is possible.
Imo this explanation is also socially more acceptable... and its nobodys fault, neither the parents upbringing or whatever.
Hormones can change some perceptions then... some mtf people report a heightened sense of smell for example.

Additionally people get more comfortable within themselves. Like accepting their male and female parts... not having to fight them any more, externally or internally... and easing into who they are.

Quite a few people report a change on the kinsey scale, one or two points towards heterosexuality... the kinsey scale goes from 0 heterosexual to 6 exclusively homosexual.
But its not all people, some remain unchanged.
Its advised to just see what comes along... its accepting yourself... nothing to be afraid of...

And, as said, very roughly one third of trans women identify as lesbian, one third as straight and one third as bi etc.

Well its a turn on for many transgender people to imagine them active in their perceived gender, I'd say...

Questions to ask could be
would you like a bit more female body to be a bit more happy?
And you don't have to identify as female all of the time.

How would you like to be perceived ?

You might start with easy reversible steps, like changes to hair and clothing style...
and see how it makes you feel... I'd say go with a feeling of joy....

and a good gender therapist could help you along...

Quote from: Goat on September 09, 2015, 02:54:51 PM

After climax I don't feel dysphoria any more, but then about 30 mins later I begin to get dysphoria again.

I was just like that. I used sex and masturbation to eliminate thoughts of dysphoria. However, during the act, I'd always be thinking that I wanted to be her. Not necessarily on the receiving end.... just to be her. Everyone is different, but that's how I was. In any case, you will figure it out. Sooner or later, if you are mtf, the need, the ever burning need, will push you. You can wait until that need consumes and destroys your life or you can experiment and have fun with it. In time, you will know.

Cindi

Thanks for all your help! ^^ It means a lot! 

Hopefully I would remain unchanged because the only thing I'm fighting is my gender and I'm 95% sure I want to identify as a woman. The only thing I'm unsure on is my sex because I have no dysphoria down there and only rarely wish that it was different but maybe that would change as I transition or if dating becomes a problem. The thing I hate the most is my facial and body hair.

Quote from: Laura_7 on September 09, 2015, 03:22:25 PM
Well its a turn on for many transgender people to imagine them active in their perceived gender, I'd say...

That's good to know I thought It was a fetish at first.

Quote from: Laura_7 on September 09, 2015, 03:22:25 PM

Questions to ask could be
would you like a bit more female body to be a bit more happy?
And you don't have to identify as female all of the time.

How would you like to be perceived ?

You might start with easy reversible steps, like changes to hair and clothing style...
and see how it makes you feel... I'd say go with a feeling of joy....

Yes, I think I do want boobs but not big and defiantly a more feminine face & skin and no body hair.
I don't think I want to identify as male at all or if I do I think it would be rare but maybe some male clothing some of the time when I can't be bothered with make-up ect...

I think I would be perceived as female but when it comes to roles I don't think I would be neither because I hate stereotypes.

I already have long hair which I've had for years now the only problem is that its thinning at the top which depresses me.
Can joy be confused with arousal? because sometimes when I get excited it cause arousal even if I'm not aroused if that makes sense.... :/

Thanks!!! ^^

Sexuality can be very fluid and open. Shifts in sexuality are not uncommon in all major life changes this is no different, though I have always felt it has something to do with your acceptance of those parts of your self.

As for forced feminization fantasy that's not unusual in many cases it's your brain finding a acceptable outlet for your desires. Deep down you may want it but some factor makes that unacceptable. So by making it something out side your control it's easier to accept after all you didn't ask for it.

I know I used to spend a good amount of time on fictionmainia, but after I started coming out and living as myself there is less intrest in being forced to do something I am doing. I see it like people who have forced sex fantasies it's a way of letting them think about it without making it there fault if that makes sense.

Serena

This has probably already been answered but sexuality has zero to do with what gender you are. There are people who are totally genderless (born with out genitals etc) and have very distinct sexual tastes. Some women who go the MtF route are often assumed to be gay, their becoming a woman so they must like men right? Wrong, many straight men transition and then Identify as lesbian, in other words, try to distinguish between the two, remove sexuality from the picture, do you genuinely feel like a girl / think like a girl / want to be a girl? <-- the most important.

Quote from: Goat on September 10, 2015, 10:46:24 AM

I already have long hair which I've had for years now the only problem is that its thinning at the top which depresses me.

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,167887.msg1661891.html#msg1661891


hugs

Quote from: Valwen on September 10, 2015, 12:39:19 PM
I have always felt it has something to do with your acceptance of those parts of your self.

Well I am 100% attracted to women and 0% attracted to men and I don't think it will change as I'm not hiding anything there not unless hormones change my mind. I hope they don't change my mind as I have always felt like a lesbian.

Quote from: Skylar1992 on September 10, 2015, 03:18:41 PM
do you genuinely feel like a girl / think like a girl / want to be a girl? <-- the most important.

Emotionally yes or at least most of the time/not sure about this one, not really sure what it would entails if I'm being honest.../ Yes, some days I feel stronger about this than others.

Sometimes I get really anxious and worry about if I would ever meet or ever have a girlfriend. This usually sways my decision and I am back at square one again with wondering if I should do it or not. Plus if I decide to keep my genitals the way they are now wouldn't it make it so much harder to find someone?

Has anyone else here found anyone whilst being transgender and not transsexual in my situation?

Thank you all so much for your responses It means a lot and you are all amazing!

Quote from: Goat on September 09, 2015, 01:30:47 PM
Hello,

I think I might be transgender (MTF) and have thought this for sometime now, however I have never dated anyone before. I am only attracted to women, could the thought of being transgender be misplaced with wanting a girlfriend.
Like am I thinking I'm transgender because I am craving femininity?

Please can anyone help me with this? I'm so confused.
Thanks.

To be honest honey, I don't think so!!  There are SO many lonely men in the world - and I don't think many of them would imagine that being a woman is the way out? That doesn't make sense to me. The majority of women have sex or relationships with men. True fact!! There are lesbians and bisexuals etc but I'd imagine there are fewer of them. So as a woman, even an attractive one, you'll have a LOT more work to do on the attraction front? Just guessing anyway. I don't actually know what's going on in real life lol  However from the conversations I have with my friends, an attractive guy is going to get more attention than an attractive girl. They're straight, they like guys!!

So that wouldn't be, for me, a trigger to question your gender. Or at least that's what I'd think. Although when it comes to relationships; I don't have a clue 

I'm sort of emotionally attracted to women, in that I don't desire contact with men. Sex with one - eeeww!!! Sorry, maybe it's amazing, but it's not for me. On the other hand I think I know what makes guys attractive, in that I can recognise a nice pair of eyes or a cheeky chappie from miles off. Weird, isn't it? I don't desire attractive men, I can just point them out in the way that some people can't. Like if you ask straight guys to pick a good looking man from a magazine they'll usually get it wrong. Or at least we've tried that as a little experiment and they seemed pretty rubbish at it. I'm perhaps a little bit better, but for me it's a completely useless ability.

Functionally I'm asexual. I don't experience desire or arousal in the way some people do. Essentially the sex organs I have don't really do anything. It doesn't bother me; it's just that I lack a particular dimension to my character. As such I don't consider myself to have ever had a gender. Like, from hormone tests and stuff, I come out as a pre-puberty girl. Or similar. How weird!! 

So there we have it... I was raised male. I feel female. I'm physically somewhere in the middle, in that my body has female traits and hormone makeup. I'm sort of bisexual in the rational sense, yet I'm lesbian in the romantic one. OMG! What happened?

So I don't think gender is linked to sexuality or sexual desire. Oh and BTW - social transition has led to loads more friends and  a nicer life for me  in the normal sense. I go out every weekend, people actually want to talk to me. It's amazing. So if you feel your life is lacking in other ways - that's, I think, more of a cue for transition. Although, if you say you don't know what wanting to be a girl feels like? I wouldn't even be able to describe not having that feeling. Maybe you fall somewhere between the genders?