My current life situation is complicated, to say the least. I live and present as male for the past 2 1/2 years after several years of living part-time as female. About the only time I have for myself which is also to be myself is weekend of my monthly TG support group meeting. Many of which I'd been having to skip due to my wife's health or emotional state.

I've been mulling the idea of taking the afternoon off, getting a hotel room nearby my therapist so I can present as female for it. I really feel I need to do this on many levels between it being 2 years with my therapist and the accomplishments there (still sane and alive) and Joanne not seeing the light of day for a long time. We've talked about this, the invitation to has been there from day 1. So no big surprise aside from the in RL the total difference in look.

Since this is a special occasion, I spent a good part of Saturday morning trying to put together the perfect outfit for the appropriate Wow! factor. After a few failed attempts I went next to my go-to Fall dress choice with the right amount of cleavage. I stood in front of the mirror checking myself out and thinking, I look a little flat up top from what I remember.

Then it hit me. No Bra! All that was there was me. I was going to change into the one for that dress but didn't quite get the job done. Then comes the head smoking part. I was suddenly on the verge of a total orgasm Like WTF! In over 10 years it's this that does it!

Never ever has anything like this happened since the long ago days of sky high T and cross-dressing eroticism 30 years ago. All those dreams at night being the female love interest of some guy don't help either.

I can't explain it. Was this some sort of epiphany about being a woman in mind, spirit, and in flesh?  I felt so confused, almost guilty, over the orgasm part, still do. It instantly overwhelmed me with no stopping it. Stuff like this isn't supposed to happen. Especially since I didn't feel the "appropriate Wow factor" as I did in a different outfit.

Has anyone else ever had something remotely like this happen?

I did a night in a motel room a couple of days ago because they were fumigating my apartment building. I had cable and the wifi. I don't own a TV so it was kind of special catching up on what was on. The environment was nice exceptionally clean , nice finished desk to work at. It was very nice and I put on one of my favorite dresses and fishnet stockings just to take it easy and watch some boob tube and laid on the nice clean soft king sized bed and couldn't help it , I started fantasizing of a friend of mind. That's the hotel room in the avatar.