Does anyone have tips on overcoming voice dysphoria. I've been on T the amount of time I have, and I still get worried about being read a certain way and that my voice isn't going to do anything (even if it's for a long time).

I just got back from a long trip to Texas not too long ago, and it sucked to get misgendered by people (on top of my physical dysphoria from not being able to find--having been on the road for over three days both ways and being physically exhausted).

Sorry. My voice bothers me, too.  Although, the other day, a woman I didn't know teased me rather unkindly about it being so low.  Only positive, is that it matches my appearance which also isn't male yet. The mismatch stage is yet to come, so I'm bracing for it. (Some days are better than others)

Have you made any adjustments to how you speak?

Making an effort to speak from a lower point in your throat/chest should give you at least a slight drop in tone. There are probably videos on this. If there are vocal coaches in your area, one could probably show you much easier than someone on a video could.

Also, see if you have more female speech patterns. There are definite differences in ways that men and women typically speak that will have people read you as one or the other without other context clues like seeing you.

One of my problems is that I can't tell (if I try) if it comes off as fake and forced, especially because I'm half deaf as it is, and I can barely hear myself talk some of the time.

would you be comfortable with uploading a clip of you speaking so that we can help?
also, how old are you? some older trans guys have an issue with their voice dropping...

I see many trans guys on T who still have high voices, but only because of the way that they talk.

Instead of trying to lower your voice while still speaking from your throat (and sounding like Fred Flintstone!), make an effort to speak from your sternum. Put one hand on your chest and one on your throat, start speaking, and feel to make sure most of the vibration is coming from your chest.

I hope I was helpful!
-N

P.S. @palexander is correct — a sample of your voice would be helpful to us for giving you advice, but if you are uncomfortable with that idea, no worries.


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I'm 21 (I'll be 22 around the end of November).

With voice clips, I've shared stuff from Vocaroo before (in the "How Old Do I Sound" thread). However, I don't know if the audio is messed up because of potential mic problems, or that's actually how I sound.

Quote from: noah732 on September 23, 2015, 05:45:51 PM
I see many trans guys on T who still have high voices, but only because of the way that they talk.

Instead of trying to lower your voice while still speaking from your throat (and sounding like Fred Flintstone!), make an effort to speak from your sternum. Put one hand on your chest and one on your throat, start speaking, and feel to make sure most of the vibration is coming from your chest.

I hope I was helpful!
-N

P.S. @palexander is correct — a sample of your voice would be helpful to us for giving you advice, but if you are uncomfortable with that idea, no worries.


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i think the proper terminology would be his diaphragm

Quote from: Daydreamer on September 23, 2015, 06:10:40 PM
I'm 21 (I'll be 22 around the end of November).

With voice clips, I've shared stuff from Vocaroo before (in the "How Old Do I Sound" thread). However, I don't know if the audio is messed up because of potential mic problems, or that's actually how I sound.

you're still pretty young. i started exactly two months after i turned 19... mind linking? i cannot be bothered to find it myself.

Hoping this works. It's two months old, but it's the best I can do for the time being:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,191973.msg1719175.html#msg1719175

your voice will continue to drop, so you shouldn't worry too much. i feel like you speak too quickly and aren't working on controlling your tone.

i'd recommend speaking more deliberately, study how other guys talk as well via youtube

These are from October 30th, and I'm apologizing if #2 has any loud noises in the background. I forgot to turn the volume on the TV down, so that's why you have a small preview to the horror movie marathon I was having. I'm also not sure if I had a cold or something in my throat do, make of them what you will.

1) http://vocaroo.com/i/s0npr5HJBEaV

2) http://vocaroo.com/i/s0hEuUorOaEB

You sound 100% male to me although I couldn't detect any drop from the 6 month to 9 month period. I really don't get why anyone would ever misgender you unless they had a few screws loose

You definitely sound male, you don't even have a female inflection. I don't really understand why you'd be misgendered at all, honestly.

I'm not sure if it's all in my head, or it's something else--like presentation or something else about me. No clue at all.

It's weird and confusing. To me, my voice sounds high and that I haven't had any noticeable changes in a long time--yet my partner said my voice sounded pretty deep when he called me from the store a few days ago. Again, no clue what's going on unless I'm putting myself down way more than I notice.

That is 110% a dude's voice.  Maybe your hearing challenges make it seem different to you than it actually is?  Or perhaps in longer conversations your speech patterns slip up and revert to female?  Your voice totally passes, though, so if you're being misgendered it's definitely not from voice alone, I promise!

Quote from: palexander on September 23, 2015, 11:38:30 AM
would you be comfortable with uploading a clip of you speaking so that we can help?
also, how old are you? some older trans guys have an issue with their voice dropping...

That's interesting; unless my memory is completely short-circuited, the only guys I've run across with problems have been young when they started T.

Daydreamer, I have to agree with FTMitch; I don't see how your misgendering could be related to your voice.

Studies have shown that observers use multiple cues to determine gender. Add 'em all up, and the balance tips one way or the other. You probably have a number of other signals that are confusing people. Have you been misgendered before talking, after, or both? Do you correct people and then get the "Oh, I'm so sorry!" response or more of a suspicious or "Whatever!" response?

Have you tried singing along to music that connects to you?

I always find myself singing along to songs with female choruses and its very therapeutic hearing myself get better and better with the higher notes.

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Im not sure the style of music you listen to but i think linkin parks live music is amazing, the way chester goes from low to high seamlessly.

Id suggest these albums

A thousand suns
Live in texas
Road to revolution

Cant remember the name of the album but its their second newest one, not the hunting party.

Hope it helps, also theres metallica san francisco orchestra album thats pretty flat and easy to sing along with.

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Quote from: Shandril on November 28, 2015, 01:21:17 PM
Im not sure the style of music you listen to but i think linkin parks live music is amazing, the way chester goes from low to high seamlessly.

Id suggest these albums

A thousand suns
Live in texas
Road to revolution

Cant remember the name of the album but its their second newest one, not the hunting party.

Hope it helps, also theres metallica san francisco orchestra album thats pretty flat and easy to sing along with.

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Nirvana and Seether are my style, though I have lots of love for Chester. It's been a pain the ass to try to follow along with my Seether albums, since I can't tell if I sound raspy or I'm doing some sort of "grudge noise" without noticing.