At the session previous to last night my therapist wanted me to contact the Psychiatrist at her local clinic as she feels I need to see one sooner rather than later as do I. So I called and was told I need a GP referral which would then be assessed by the Psychiatrist and if appropriate an appointment would be early next year. When I told my therapist this she said she thinks she can do better than that and gives me the name of a Dr at the same clinic as the Psychiatrist to make the referral.

So I ring and was told by a lovely guy that the Dr was not really taking on anyone new this year so I mentioned who the referral was from and that they could contact my therapist directly if they wanted so he told me to leave it with him and he will call me. 

This afternoon I get the call, the Dr will see me next Wednesday at 1.30pm, I was also told that there was a good chance I will get to see the Psychiatrist sooner rather than later due to my therapist also doing work at the same clinic and they know her and have spoken to her.

I could be getting ahead of myself here but it seems that things are taking on a life of their own, last night I had a talk about HRT and why I may want it. A hard conversation to have but necessary so I asked her what turned her around to understanding and she told me it was the nightmares that frightened me so much while we were away...she sat up each night and watched me and thought about what I was going through and she could see the torment in my dreams and the absolute terror and anguish they portrayed. From this she understood what the Dysphoria is doing to me inside. As hard as it is for her she really wants me to be happy.

It is just so unbelievable I am very,very happy

Sarah T

I'm so happy at this post! Congratulations on all the success and progress that is being made. Your journey to a happier life is well on it's way, and I couldn't be happier for you.

Keep enjoying those wonderful happy emotions, you truly deserve it. I hope that psychiatrist gives you everything that you need to continue on and keep the progress rolling. Before you know it, you'll be looking back on this post and reminiscing of what has become, in a bright and free future!

I love how you can talk to your partner about this so openly and honestly. It bet it makes a world of difference that she wants you to be happy.

Sending much love and happiness your way!

Karlee.x

Karlee it makes one of the really hard parts so much easier. We are both still deeply in love with each other and cannot see a future without the other one in it.

The future looks very bright from here on...despite anything else that may happen there will always be my wife and my girls to love me.

Sarah T                                                     

Thanks for sharing the happies with us! 

Hugs, Devlyn

That's fantastic to hear. It's good to know that there is that possibility, that love can really conquer all!

I'm in a similar situation. I have a long-term relationship with my girlfriend. She's unaware of my goings on at the moment, purely because I want to sort this out for myself and make sure it is right. She said she's got my back no matter what, so I'll hold her to that!

That unconditional love will do wonders for you. It is no doubt reciprocated by yourself, which makes the journey all that more fulfilling. Keep at it, as you said, bright future awaits you!

Love,

Karlee.x

Yay Sarah, I'm so happy for you!

Thanks Girls for the encouragement. I think the thing that really turned the corner for me was seeing my therapist with my wife there. By the end of the session it was quite clear that the only thing left to do was to actually start the transition properly. So with this in mind we went out for a quick shop to top up my wardrobe with a couple of casual items, leggings, 2 skirts, and enough underwear for daily wearing. All/ most of my male underwear is getting the turf (thank god). There is a real change and I think it is because the talking is over the doing is here.

I woke up this morning and the first thought into my head was not a negative one for a change. I feel positive and like a burden has been lifted. Hope seems to feature a little in my thinking now not that awful blackness which was my future. Now that I am on the way to seeing the people I need to and I have a clearer head as to what I want it is making me feel really positive. I may not yet be able to present fully dressed to the world but I am one huge step closer than I was...it still seems a bit surreal that after all the years of desperate wishing it would seem that they are coming to fruition.

Onwards to a better and happier life.

Sarah T