I recently come back out to my parents after two years or so of trying to force my way into cis-happiness. My dad, once more, is all for whatever makes me happy. My mom, once again, cried and told me that she thinks I'm wrong. I wrote her a letter in hopes of HRT and gave it several days for her to think and settle in. I asked her in person for her consent to use our health insurance (I'm 19 and still on their plan) to start HRT which didn't go so well. She says she wants to research it before she gives me an answer, which means several things to me.
A. She doesn't trust the five years I've spent agonizing over this.
B. She thinks she can control whether or not I transition
C. She's trying to put it off for as long as possible because she never has downtime, especially to research a sensitive subject such as this.
She suggested just cross dressing to see if it's what I really want to do. I explained that it isn't just the gender role or the clothes, but the way I look at my body and myself. She just can't comprehend not being happy with having parts that you don't want and not having parts you do want. She thinks that people are just people and that their bodies don't matter. I find this very ironic because she's trying to keep me from changing my body.
It's now several days later and she's still crying, which frankly really just angers me. This didn't exactly sneak up on her, I've gone through therapy years ago and then gave her a solid week after reading my letter to talk to her. I can't let on to that for obvious reasons, so instead I'm choosing to help her find resources to read and better explain the situation. However, because nothing I say can on the matter can be trusted at this point in time, so I'd really appreciate it if anyone could direct me towards some good resources for her to open her mind a bit
Thanks everyone!
