The point I am driving at, is that we don't have authority or control over how another person perceives things.

As such there will be plenty of people out there who will clock us and refer to us how they see us - as our biological gender. Usually it is because they simply don't believe in transsexualism - much less often do people 'misgender' us out of pure malice.

The common position is that these people should respect us more, and get on board with what *we* want. But I think it goes both ways.

We also need to respect that others have their own points of view. We do ourselves a disservice getting hurt over it. What we really need to do is accept the diversity of people around us - just as we are asking of them. That way we can drop the 'us and them' mentality, and move forward.

Lead by example.

I'm not transitioning for other people. I can't control people, but I won't passively tolerate being treated as anything less than a woman worthy of respect.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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Quote from: Zoetrope on September 26, 2015, 05:24:47 PM
The point I am driving at, is that we don't have authority or control over how another person perceives things.

As such there will be plenty of people out there who will clock us and refer to us how they see us - as our biological gender. Usually it is because they simply don't believe in transsexualism - much less often do people 'misgender' us out of pure malice.

The common position is that these people should respect us more, and get on board with what *we* want. But I think it goes both ways.

We also need to respect that others have their own points of view. We do ourselves a disservice getting hurt over it. What we really need to do is accept the diversity of people around us - just as we are asking of them. That way we can drop the 'us them' mentality, and move forward.

Lead by example.

Saying that we should allow people to disrespect and mistreat us, because they have a right to their opinion is the most irresponsible comment I've seen in a very long time. Definitely not an example I would follow.

Quote from: kittenpower on September 26, 2015, 06:19:27 PM
Saying that we should allow people to disrespect and mistreat us, because they have a right to their opinion is the most irresponsible comment I've seen in a very long time. Definitely not an example I would follow.

Not what I am saying at all, and I'm surprised you read it that way.

Of course I insist on being treated with respect and dignity. But do I demand that others modify their views to suit mine? Of course not. I think *that* is disrespectful.

In more ways than I would like, I know I will viewed as "male" for the rest of my life by those that know I am trans. Most might be respectful enough to humor me, but I can still tell the difference in how they interact with someone who is afab and me, its pretty stark. Its disappointing as I had hoped things would go better, but then I suppose I underestimated people's desire to gossip and the apparent sheer joy they get from outing someone behind their back.

Quote from: Zoetrope on September 26, 2015, 05:24:47 PM
As such there will be plenty of people out there who will clock us and refer to us how they see us - as our biological gender. Usually it is because they simply don't believe in transsexualism - much less often do people 'misgender' us out of pure malice.

Not calling somebody by their stated gender pronoun for any reason is "pure malice".

If I met a person named Robert and he told me he preferred "Bob", I would call him "Bob".  I wouldn't say to him "I'm sorry, Robert, I don't believe in abbreviated naming conventions so I'll continue calling you Robert".  No, you call a person what they want you to call them.  If you don't, it's only because you are being a jerk.

I agree with this:

Quote from: Abysha on September 26, 2015, 06:55:12 PM
If I met a person named Robert and he told me he preferred "Bob", I would call him "Bob".  I wouldn't say to him "I'm sorry, Robert, I don't believe in abbreviated naming conventions so I'll continue calling you Robert".  No, you call a person what they want you to call them.  If you don't, it's only because you are being a jerk.

I disagree with this:

Quote from: Abysha on September 26, 2015, 06:55:12 PM
Not calling somebody by their stated gender pronoun for any reason is "pure malice".

Because if a person doesn't believe in transsexualism, or somehow picks a gender wrong, that does not mean they are doing it out of malice.

Quote from: learningtolive on September 24, 2015, 09:37:38 AM

My own dysphoria comes from the physical angle more than the social one.  Since starting hormones, my dysphoria improved to such an amazing degree that I thought maybe it would get to the point where I may even be okay with not getting SRS.  I quickly realized I definitely still need to get rid of my "shenis" (that thing down there) but the need to be socialized as a woman was abated significantly.

At this point, I only present because our society is so binary that living as an awesome "exotic hybrid" (coined by Devlon) is not widely considered a valid way to be.  If there were no social taboos or expectations attached to be trans, I'd probably live life happily with my neovag, breasts, and then present however I felt on any given day with no cares as to how people addressed me.  The social dysphoria is caused only by society and nothing else.  If I were the last person on Earth, I'd transition and not worry about how I looked afterwards nor what gender the wildlife thought I was.

Quote from: Zoetrope on September 26, 2015, 07:00:04 PM
I agree with this:

I disagree with this:

Because if a person doesn't believe in transsexualism, or somehow picks a gender wrong, that does not mean they are doing it out of malice.

Maybe I don't understand what you mean by "a person doesn't believe in transsexualism".

 
Okay folks. Lets please keep it civil. I know we are not all going to agree, but lets not take other peoples posts personally. Thanks
Mariah