Hello all, I am back again and lucky me I was able to get my screen mane again! I am also just as confused as before. Last time I was here I became very frustrated with everything and just decided it was easier not to deal with it so I went back to full male mode. Well the normal problem came up recently. The depression the lead down the suicidal road.
I now know that I can no longer supers this and need to deal with it. The big issue is don't really now where I am with all this. I started wearing my bra and tank tops under my work tops. It feels great and because I drive truck for a living once I get going away from the shop I can take the t shirt off and feel REALLY comfy. One day last week I couldn't war any of it to work. They sent a rider with me, I actually felt like I wasn't dressed appropriately with out my under clothes on.

So I come here for some help. Your opinion is welcome as I don't want to go back down the road I was on.

Welcome back!

First of all - hugs. Please value your life, please seek a help of a therapist that will at least help you clear things out. I'm sure it's been hard for you but therapy helped me a lot.

April xo

Quote from: Chrissy1 on September 26, 2015, 09:57:25 PM
Hello all, I am back again and lucky me I was able to get my screen mane again! I am also just as confused as before. Last time I was here I became very frustrated with everything and just decided it was easier not to deal with it so I went back to full male mode. Well the normal problem came up recently. The depression the lead down the suicidal road.
I now know that I can no longer supers this and need to deal with it. The big issue is don't really now where I am with all this. I started wearing my bra and tank tops under my work tops. It feels great and because I drive truck for a living once I get going away from the shop I can take the t shirt off and feel REALLY comfy. One day last week I couldn't war any of it to work. They sent a rider with me, I actually felt like I wasn't dressed appropriately with out my under clothes on.

So I come here for some help. Your opinion is welcome as I don't want to go back down the road I was on.

Welcome Back to Susan's Place. The feeling you have don't get any better with time but for some people a full transition isn't needed. You have to find what makes you comfortable and a gender therapist would be the bast way to figure that out. You might find some non binary activity will make you comfortable or you might learn there is no other option than a full transition. If you fail to explore it, it will keep coming back again even worst. Feel free to talk about your feeling here but do consider a therapist. I don't know how long you have been gone so I am going to flash you with the rules just in case.

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I've been there often and long. I relied on Diversions, Distractions, and Denial (the 3D's) to Get By. It works for a while until some major upset comes along. Which also happened a few times. The last time I found myself here and now in a far better place in my life

It does get better

Quote from: carmenkate on September 26, 2015, 11:40:32 PM
Welcome back!

First of all - hugs. Please value your life, please seek a help of a therapist that will at least help you clear things out. I'm sure it's been hard for you but therapy helped me a lot.

April xo

ditto

 I have been seeking therapy, but a lot of them in my area do not do sliding scale and since I do not have insurance they want 150.00 per visit. I just can't do that. Since letting Chrissy back out I have been in a much better place. Not perfect by any means, but it helps alot. Just being able to come home and be TOTALLY comfy and the bit 8 can do at work helps alot. I am going to get in touch tomorrow with the local LGBT chapter here and see if they can be of any help. Thank you to all of you for just being here.