Penal strangulation

Chrissy5946 · September 29, 2015, 07:04:13 PM

How many if you attempted or practice Penial Strangulation?
I was about 9 or 10 When I started, I was obsessed with riding myself of the "thing" between my legs. I tried for at least a year maybe more, I remember having my heart rate skyrocket, and crying afterwards, and sometimes having a ejaculation. I'm sure it had something to do with petite size now.
I did finally realize it was not going anywhere that way, so I stopped.
PS. I'm sorry for being such a lousy speller!

Wild Flower · September 29, 2015, 07:12:42 PM

No. I only tried shaving my arm hair, fixing my eyebrows and occasionally putting makeup/wig in private.

I dont hold a hatred to my privates. It just is what it is.

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Isabelle · September 29, 2015, 07:32:13 PM

Ok... This messed up but, when I was really little, I was told I was never allowed to use a needle to get wood splinters out if I'd been climbing trees etc because I could give myself an infection and my finger would fall off....
So I stuck needles in my bits hoping for infections...

Rachel · September 29, 2015, 07:36:50 PM

I did some permanent damage to the shaft of my penis. I have scar tissue that impinges like a rubber band when I use to get a full erection. It was very painful. I use to use rubber bands on my gonads until they turned colors but that caused several days of pain afterwards.

When I received my first letter my therapist used the words "genital mutilation" in one sentence. When I read the letter in her office I paused for a bit when I read that part. I have hatred for my genitals.

Paige · September 29, 2015, 10:01:37 PM

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 29, 2015, 07:36:50 PM
I use to use rubber bands on my gonads until they turned colors but that caused several days of pain afterwards.

Hi Cynthia Michelle,

Yup did this a number of times when I was young until one time, like you, the pain lasted for days after. Not a very bright thing to do, but desperation makes you do stupid things.

Paige

Skylar1992 · September 30, 2015, 03:43:18 AM

Why did you feel the need to post this, I'm not really sure, some things are best kept personal.

Obfuskatie · September 30, 2015, 03:46:56 AM

Quote from: Skylar1992 on September 30, 2015, 03:43:18 AM
Why did you feel the need to post this, I'm not really sure, some things are best kept personal.

Sharing is caring ;-)

Hugs,
- Katie
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Isabelle · September 30, 2015, 04:15:35 AM

Because it's part of the trans experience for a significant portion of us. I can't speak to the "strangulation and ejaculation" parts that OP mentions cause it's not relavent to my lived experience but, I took this thread as being about childhood self harming of the genital region, which I understand to be not at all uncommon.

Chrissy5946 · September 30, 2015, 04:48:37 AM

I'm not afraid or need to keep my past buried. I had multiple events occur throughout my life I would like to discuss here, assuming there appropriate, and with help from Moderators. I need to have help from you all. Therapist help, but people like me are the ones who really relate, and can give me feedback (and Hugs!) to why Iam transgendered. Every little bit of support makes life worth living, I suffer, and want to be happy, hopefully to help others myself.
Love you all
Chrissy

chuufk · September 30, 2015, 04:48:51 AM

Quote from: Skylar1992 on September 30, 2015, 03:43:18 AM
Why did you feel the need to post this, I'm not really sure, some things are best kept personal.

Because it feels less weird or wrong when you realise that lots of other people suffered the same way and tried the same things. It is better to find out and alay the sense of shame or guilt that might be associated with such actions.

Lady_Oracle · September 30, 2015, 05:05:25 AM

Not as extreme but I used to tuck as a child and in the shower try to fold it down so it would be hidden

I did this continuously for years.

mfox · September 30, 2015, 05:18:08 AM

I didn't know there was a term for it. When I was six or seven, I remember my parents trying to get a rubber band off, that I had looped over and over around the base of my penis. But it hurt so bad I don't remember trying it again.

StartingOver · September 30, 2015, 07:13:22 AM

Surely "penile strangulation"? "Penal strangulation" would describe the act of strangling someone (around the neck, not the penis) as a punishment.

katrinaw · September 30, 2015, 08:00:38 AM

Been there, from about 5 ish... when I realised I really was different than girls physically...

It lasted till well into my teens... Tying up tight, squishing it up inside, even took kitchen scissors to bed.. but never actually carries that oneout, figured it would hurt and bleed too much!

Yes we all get very dysphoric over our physical birth deficiencies

Katy xx

Paige · September 30, 2015, 09:56:17 AM

Quote from: chuufk on September 30, 2015, 04:48:51 AM
Because it feels less weird or wrong when you realise that lots of other people suffered the same way and tried the same things. It is better to find out and alay the sense of shame or guilt that might be associated with such actions.

Exactly. For our whole lives, we've dealt with shame. Being transgender has put us in a very, very difficult position. I'm sick and tired of the shame. Transgender people have nothing to apologize for. The rest of society on the other hand should be the ones feeling shame and apologize.

Paige

Vendetta · September 30, 2015, 10:20:25 AM

I hated my junk but the most I did was tuck it really tight but we all handle life in different ways I'm sure I've done some strange things to release the messed up feelings caused by by gender issues

TheMissingM · September 30, 2015, 07:55:45 PM

Guilty.

Back when I first came to terms with who I was when I was around 10-11, I'd use strings to cut the circulation off... but I always chickened out and undid it and whined in pain before it turned blue. I'd keep going back and trying this through 13, 14.

As I got older, I'd begin to strangle my unwanted part with my two hands whenever I got an erection..

Now? I don't do anything. I take care of the thing as much as I hate it.

Isabelle · September 30, 2015, 09:24:45 PM

I'm post op now so I don't deal with problems like that anymore,but I think it's worth pointing out, if you're pre-op, even if you don't know when you're going to get surgery, self harming is a bad idea. Scar tissue building up and damaged tissue is harder for a surgeon to work with, you may end up sabotaging yourself. There's lots of alternatives to self harm that can help you deal with those feelings without damaging yourself .

CarlyMcx · September 30, 2015, 09:56:27 PM

Quote from: Lady_Oracle on September 30, 2015, 05:05:25 AM
Not as extreme but I used to tuck as a child and in the shower try to fold it down so it would be hidden I did this continuously for years.

+1. I remember spending a lot of time trying to tuck in my later elementary school years. I also remember being disgusted as it got larger when I went through puberty.

The only reasons I never tried to cut it off were 1) messing with it hurt like crazy, and 2) masturbation was my only source of pleasure and my only escape from the time I was ten or so, well into my twenties.

Obfuskatie · September 30, 2015, 09:57:54 PM

Quote from: Lady_Oracle on September 30, 2015, 05:05:25 AM
Not as extreme but I used to tuck as a child and in the shower try to fold it down so it would be hidden I did this continuously for years.

Same here, except I'd tuck and tape it then get dressed and use my imagination [emoji304] to fill in the femininity I was lacking. I stopped doing it around 11-12, because I couldn't keep my imagination going with my full length mirrors in my room.
These experiences with tape are probably why I can't stand using any tape now, if I were to be introspective about it. I did think/fantasize about getting rid of/harming my penis, not constantly but it was always in the back of my mind. I doubt I'll be happy with my body until my hair is better and I've had bottom surgery.

Hugs,
- Katie
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