Hey,

I have been living part time (I always present as feminine except at work and around family) for about 6 years now and am trying to go full time. Because I was scared my religious southern parents would disown me if I came out to them I estranged myself from them. Last week I called them and told them everything but now I don't know how to progress from there. I'm not sure how to expose them to all of this without making them freak out.  Do I just go over there dressed like I normally dress when I'm not around them? or is there some way to ease them into this. I'm so far down the line in my transition it seems counter productive to just start wearing a little makeup or dressing in  androgynous clothes. Has anyone else been through anything like this? I'm kind of at a loss for how to deal with them.

Here are some additional materials:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196614.msg1750127.html#msg1750127

Well what about some nice pants and a blouse you feel comfortable with ?

I'm more of a gothy, hippy type of person so I don't really own much along the lines of blouses and nice pants. Most of what I own are torn up flairs and sun dresses. I guess there is not really a way to half do it is there. Maybe its better if i do it like pulling off a bandaid? They seem supportive now I just don't want to shock them to badly.

Yep... I'd say something not too shocking and where you feel comfortable in 

If you feel comfortable it also gives self confidence.


hugs

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Quote from: CreepyCourtney on September 30, 2015, 06:38:57 PM
I'm not sure how to expose them to all of this without making them freak out.

I would say that it's they're job to keep themselves from freaking out, not yours. No one, not even one's parents, has a right to ask another person to pretend to be someone else. You have a right to be yourself. You can't control how your parents will react and you can drive yourself crazy trying.

I held off transitioning for years because I was sure my dad and stepmom wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. They have been surprisingly accepting and have worked very hard to do all the right things over the last year.

I'd ease them into it as much as you can. I know it seems counter productive, but there is little good to be found in shock value when you're worried about how people will react. Like Suzi said, ultimately it is their responsibility to act like adults and be respectful but I think it sends a more positive message when someone makes an effort to make others comfortable when they themselves are uncomfortable - like "This is new, but I'll try if you'll try".

Hi - It's going to be one of those moments that no matter how much you think and prep, for there's just a lot that won't sort itself out until there you are.

First, be who you are.  It won't help to be less than that up front.

Second, that said be tasteful and moderate (whatever that means to you and you are the only one that counts here).

Third, regardless of how things go you are a great and beautiful human being.  Bring love with you when you see them and leave with love in your heart.  In the end, love is all that truly matters over time and your love is all yours to have and show - it's what makes you and all of us such beautiful beings when we offer it.

Several of my first discussions were difficult (I wasn't so loving) and some were magical - I couldn't predict.  Still, I'm glad that I had them and everyone that was important to me and still is today, even if some relationships are distant and largely quiet - I can love unconditionally and always try to.  It's so much better than the alternative.

Take good care of yourself and go as the loving child of your parents . . . best of everything to you and yours,

Rachel

"Hi - It's going to be one of those moments that no matter how much you think and prep, for there's just a lot that won't sort itself out until there you are.

First, be who you are.  It won't help to be less than that up front.

Second, that said be tasteful and moderate (whatever that means to you and you are the only one that counts here).

Third, regardless of how things go you are a great and beautiful human being.  Bring love with you when you see them and leave with love in your heart.  In the end, love is all that truly matters over time and your love is all yours to have and show - it's what makes you and all of us such beautiful beings when we offer it.

Several of my first discussions were difficult (I wasn't so loving) and some were magical - I couldn't predict.  Still, I'm glad that I had them and everyone that was important to me and still is today, even if some relationships are distant and largely quiet - I can love unconditionally and always try to.  It's so much better than the alternative.

Take good care of yourself and go as the loving child of your parents . . . best of everything to you and yours,

Rachel"

Thank you so much. That is an awesome point. It is probably going to be awkward regardless so I guess it doesn't make much sense to try to control the situation to much. I can be a little neurotic about trying to control uncontrollable situations. I don't really dress or act super extravagantly so moderate is kind of normal for me. I think I will just do it the way I normally dress/act/talk. Thanks for the advice. Your awesome.

In time you'll look back and this will occur to you differently.  But for now good luck and please stay in touch.  It matters to us how it goes.

Thank you for the acknowledgement and you're very special too!



Rachel