I think I've gone beyond my life long struggle to see my female self. I took the latest picture of myself at Target Starbucks and I keep looking and I'm at such a weird point where I can't believe what I've done. I've been staring at my picture and been mesmerized at the job the estrogen has done. I truly love Estrogen. I have always thought about taking estrogen since I was 17 and never knew how to get it . Then later in life I use to work in Boys Town Chicago and was thinking of going on the streets with the  girls and trying to get it from one of them or find out how to do it, but I never did. Then the road came to an end and I sought medical help and found the way. It truly is like finally standing in the sunlight after being in an endless storm. I been staring at my picture and  realizing how much I've changed and started to be afraid of what I've done. I think I've arrived at the point of absolute no return. My wardrobe is totally female and I can't go back and have absolutely no desire to go back. I had a moment today of seeing myself and wondering if I've turned into a freak in comparison to what I looked like 2 years ago. I'm use to looking like a freak from my Hippie days and I think that experience has greatly helped me in not caring how others see me. Then I look again and see a cute chubby little woman and say its pretty cool. Just curious if others have hit a point in their transition where they finally see the drastic difference  of before and after HRT and wonder if only for a nanosecond on what they have done.( At 23 months)

Hi Stephanie, I reemember you when you first appeared and yes estrogen has been really good for you and your appearence has changed into a much softer and pretty look. You look female without a doubt.

I too reflected on my journey and today I seldom see the male in me in the mirror. The male side emerges when I'm doing business deals and thats ok now. I used to have dysphoria at the sudden change in this  behavioral pattern. I have also gradually removed all my male clothes, and I really had a selection and so many memories. I cannot believe the changes and the peace I have found and for me the mental changes are the treasure that I never expected.

Thanks for posting that, both of you. I find it hard to imagine at this point and its been bothering me. Its good to know what's possible.

Quote from: AnonyMs on October 01, 2015, 02:48:15 AM
Thanks for posting that, both of you. I find it hard to imagine at this point and its been bothering me. Its good to know what's possible.

Its mind blowing possible. There is a girl who works at the University across the street from my apartment building that Started her transition when I moved into the neighborhood about 15 years ago or more. When I first saw her she was full time , but you really could tell she had just started HRT . She had a big frame , but after 20 years she's doing quite well in feminizing . I saw her today walking down the street walking with some guy laughing. It was good to see she was happy.

Great post!
The passion you ladies have is inspirational
I love seeing your pictures on going, and read the positive attitudes, and desire to get to that special place.
It reminds me of Meditation. I was at Yoga class last night, in Savasana, I was dreaming of my love of my female heart, and felt for a few seconds GONE, total disconnect, if you find that place if only for a moment it is very special, and mind/body refreshing.
Chrissy


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I often get that feeling when getting my corpse pose on Chrissy! Like I'm floating above my body.

So amazing to hear these stories, I'm just beginning my journey and I can only hope that I manage to get to the point you ladies are at now.

I totally know what you mean, Stephanie.

However I just see "him" when I am undressed (the lower part anyway), so I think I need to take care of that as soon as I can...

Yes it feels great when you get to that point.  I think I am just arriving there after 7 months of HRT and one month post FFS and BA.  Now, like iKate the only time I see him is when I have my lower body undressed.  Even without make up now it is hard for me to see anything but the woman I am. 

I really know what you mean when you say that you truly love estrogen Stephanie.  It has been like a miracle drug for me, making me feel normal for the first time in my life.

Quote from: stephaniec on October 01, 2015, 03:52:59 AM
Its mind blowing possible. There is a girl who works at the University across the street from my apartment building that Started her transition when I moved into the neighborhood about 15 years ago or more. When I first saw her she was full time , but you really could tell she had just started HRT . She had a big frame , but after 20 years she's doing quite well in feminizing . I saw her today walking down the street walking with some guy laughing. It was good to see she was happy.

The first year or two are always the hardest, but although the bulk of changes usually happen in that time frame they keep happening regardless.

I can truly see the changes Stephanie. No sight of anything other than a woman and a beautiful one.
xoxo

thanks