Hi guys,

sorry, it's been a long day at work and I've just been really pissed off by my mum with this... 

ok... so mum read a news article today about a person with Body Integrity Disorder.
(http://www.barcroft.tv/body-Integrity-identity-disorder-woman-makes-herself-blind-drain-cleaner)
and she thinks being transgender is just like having Body Integrity Disorder (like we *wanted* to hurt ourselves because we don't see ourselves as others sees us  )
and what really gets me is that she says the doctors I'm seeing is just like the one in the article (*helping* us to hurt ourselves)

she always says that she will "tolerate" (which is different than "accepting") the whole transgender thing, but she still see this as a choice, and constantly telling me what I'm doing is wrong, and I should pray to  God that  He will heal me (no offense here, I'm also a Christian myself).

I'm really glad that I started T a month ago, and will do my best to keep it going!
but it's just really hard mentally to keep fighting everyday at work and also at home to "prove" myself...
and mum always says: no matter what I do, I'm still a "girl"  and that I'm just not trying hard enough to be a "girl"

sorry guys, I guess I just need some encouragements/support to go on my day... 

Has your mom ever considered that God might have made us to represent the variety and diversity of human gender expression?  I am sure you have explained this to her, but I explained to a friend that Lady Gaga's song "born this way" can still be okay for me, (I am agnostic) but I think if God did in fact create us, they could forsee the amazing diversity humans would become.  People's skin, hair and eye color all span a huge spectrum, our minds and bodies ALL work completely differently, while still following a fairly standard (ish) model.  If God created people to be born with different bodies, heights and weights, why not genders and sexualities.  The universe is so complicated we cannot possibly assume anything about what the creator had in mind (if there is such a way to describe God's mind).

What is God created those people with BID to blind themselves? What if they aren't sick, they really just don't need that body part?  WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE AS JESUS SAID.  Also, isn't there a line or two about plucking out thine eye and such?  I can't say.  You can't say. They can't say.  We all just are.

In a less philosophical vein, you are a friggin soldier to put up with that. You are a beautiful, strong person and you can get through the love that hurts.  I know it's painful and awful, but it's something that you can use to strengthen your resolve.  If the people you love and are close to you can't hurt you anymore, then a stranger you care nothing about can't hurt you.

Finally... we have modern medicine and it's not going away anytime soon. Ask your mom if God believes in Pacemakers, Hearing Aides, Pills that support life functions, Cancer therapy? Have you told her that you feel God loves you as you and is not going to condemn you for medicating yourself as you see fit?


If she doesn't, then at least she is consistent in her dogma.  Any professional and person not blinded by hate disguised in dogma can see that a Transgender person suffers more from their society's prejudice than anything else. I can't say that the people who were/are accepted or not stigmatized in non Christian societies were/are perfectly, always happy (like any other human being) but I imagine their pain was/is lessened by being allowed their own space to be themselves. 

Regardless of what she thinks, I am so happy for you to be on T and knowing/finding out who you are and having the courage to do what you can about it.  It's a hard journey any way you go, but I hope this is a good way for you to go.  Don't forget there we are here for you as much as we can be!

I don't know if this may help or not, but I did some research when I heard about this yesterday.

Gender Dysphoria is a diagnosable condition in the DSM. It is it's own thing.
Body Integrity Identity Disorder is not. It is commonly diagnosed as a personality disorder of some sort, as a disorder related to a skewed body image.

Does this mean it is a less legitimate thing? Not necessarily. But you mom may be able to take being transgender more seriously if she sees that Gender Dysphoria is a legitimate thing while BIID is not, according to the current medical standards (assuming you are in the US).

Quote from: Inji on October 02, 2015, 02:51:06 AM
ok... so mum read a news article today about a person with Body Integrity Disorder.
and she thinks being transgender is just like having Body Integrity Disorder (like we *wanted* to hurt ourselves because we don't see ourselves as others sees us  )
and what really gets me is that she says the doctors I'm seeing is just like the one in the article (*helping* us to hurt ourselves)

There's now an abundance of evidence showing that gender identity is something you're born with, and whether you get the male or female version depends on whether there were high or low levels of androgenic hormones present during the time your brain was undergoing its prenatal development. Presumably, either your body was overproducing androgenic hormones during the critical period for brain development, or you were exposed during that critical period to some kind of hormone or chemical with androgenic properties. Either way, it's something that's built into the structure of your brain, it's a part of who you are, and there's no way of changing it now. All you can do is make the best of the situation (which it sounds like you're doing).

You could ask your mother whether she was given any hormones or drugs while pregnant with you. A lot of us older MTFs and transfeminine's were exposed to an artificial estrogen called DES, which has since been withdrawn from the market. However, there's so many younger people coming out as trans, it makes me think that there could well be other hormones or other medicines still in use that are having similar effects.

Thanks! 
Hope my mum can understand better someday.