(I hope this is okay, I'm very new to forums! Sorry if I've slipped up anywhere. )

So I'm a 16 year old ftm person. Obviously, underaged, so I cant do anything in the ways of actually altering myself at this stage.
  Every time I think about the possibility of not looking as feminine as I do, I can practically feel my heart jump. It's such an exciting thing that I've wanted all my life and I'm so so happy that it will come true. It's just... The problems with waiting until then. Like I said, I AM a very feminine looking person. I'm petite (SMALL!! I've been blown over by a gust of wind before!), I'm curvy, and I've got pretty big boobs . The only thing I've got somewhat going for me is an androgynous voice if I alter it a bit.
   Basically, I suppose I'm looking for advice in being able to appear more passing and coping mechanisms for...everything.. Because in my head, I AM a boy. So that's a bit of a problem being physically a "girl," yet mentally perceiving myself as a guy. I run into a lot of instances of seeing like.. Say a gay man that I find attractive, and I'm like haha yeah!! But then I remember I'm not a guy yet and my ego is just totally deflated. Sometimes I actually recoil when I'm called a girl, and feel pretty disgusted. Stuff like that.
   
IDK!! It's just all very confusing and I keep on reaching points where I think I've got myself all figured out, and then it just emotionally blows up in my face again.
But, I know about make up and contouring, and chest binders, and the like. It just feels like.. No matter what I do, nothings ever good enough 

If i need to provide pics of myself or anything like that for people to help me with this I'll do that. I think I pretty much look like a guy in selfies anyway but as soon as people see me in real life it's like 'nope. thats a girl.' But anyway, sorry that I ramble so much. Thanks !

Hey, welcome to the forums!

From speaking with a lot of transguys, you're not alone in regards to body shape and height. While it can make it harder to pass pre-t, hormones and surgeries (should you wish to follow that route) will hugely alter your appearance. For now I'd recommend binding, preferably with a full length one to compress hips as well as chest.

Also with contouring - I'd be careful with that. Wearing make-up is still something that is seen as 'feminine' by most, so if you're worried about passing I'd think about how much and how you use it - although what you shouldn't ever do is change yourself to fit a mould of a 'man'. The whole point of transition is to become who YOU are, so always think of what you want, not what society wants (for lack of a better expression).

Also with the gay man point, it will probably be tough, although it depends how you work relationships. My partner is trans and they find that with hookups, their gender will be completely ignored and they will be left triggered by ignorant people. However, if it's dating people, once they get to know you and see you as the man you really are, what's down there won't matter at all.


I hope this helps, feel free to PM me. I might not be able to relate to everything, but in my opinion it's always useful to be able to chat and vent at people, especially those of a similar age

-Matt

You're not alone, I'm pre-everything and 15. I hasn't so big boobs, but I doesn't look masculine either. :/
I have a bit feminine round face. So I'm feeling with you, bro'. The dysphoria is hard.
If your boob issue is a big plague, maybe you should try binding, if it's available. You can also try a haircut and maybe some masculine clothes. That may make you more masculine looking. If you do workout, that would make you more masculine too. And if you're ready, you can do socially transistion. There would always be somebody who would support you.

Isn't so much to do before T and I'm sorry for that. The main keyword is patience. 'What cispeople take for granted doesn't we take for granted.' The waiting game is hard. But I'm trying to be positive and thinking at a brighter future. Doing funny things like hobbies, hanging with friends, watch TV etc. helps a bit at the mood. If you have friends or family, you can talk with them. Maybe they can help you. Later you can go to a gender specialist and get help there.

@matthew thank you so much!! i think with the makeup ive considered not wearing it, but i think i might need it a bit. while i have a relatively angular\boxy face its still just.. so definitely feminine. the contouring helps make it a little more masculine !! but thank you so much youre very kind

@Sebby Michelango thanks haha but man ive already had short hair for nearly 5 and a half years now! and ive been trying a workout routine but gaining muscle is very hard for me im a very ectomorphic body type so gaining any fat or muscle has actually been a continual problem throughout my life. i actually find myself under what should be the normal weight for someone my age and height despite doing everything i can to gain it! and i did have a binder for a while but recently my breasts got even bigger so it no longer fits. have to get a new one. Like matthew said im probably gonna have to get a fullbody one too! but thank you for the help !!

Hey, welcome to the forum. We've all had the same problems you currently. If you want to get a new binder then I recommend gc2b, I'm kinda small chested but heard they also work great for bigger chested guys. What helps me lift some of the dysphoria is buying new clothes even if it's just a new shirt or boxers. Also trying a new hairstyle or getting my hair cut frequently. What hairstyle do you have now, I'm just curious. Also flavnt streetwear have some really nice tops.
I hear you about weightlifting, I started 3 weeks ago and I still look puny and fem,  early days I know but still. Hopefully I'll be on stereods soon which will help; )

Quote from: Elis on September 30, 2015, 03:44:53 PM
Hey, welcome to the forum. We've all had the same problems you currently. If you want to get a new binder then I recommend gc2b, I'm kinda small chested but heard they also work great for bigger chested guys. What helps me lift some of the dysphoria is buying new clothes even if it's just a new shirt or boxers. Also trying a new hairstyle or getting my hair cut frequently. What hairstyle do you have now, I'm just curious. Also flavnt streetwear have some really nice tops.
I hear you about weightlifting, I started 3 weeks ago and I still look puny and fem,  early days I know but still. Hopefully I'll be on stereods soon which will help; )

Buying a binder could do you a big difference. I'm an average chested transman and putting on a binder pre-T gave me that extra boost of confidence in myself. I agree with buying new clothing and haircuts. Clothing that don't hug to your body shape and are more baggy. I wear a lot of sweaters. Working out helps A LOT, and if you choose HRT, it'll only help you more in the future.

I'm 31 and pre-T everything as well, I have always been really flat chested kind in the range of a big A smaller B but I did find that binding was a big confidence booster as well, that and I shaved my head. clothing also helps as well. if your short in stature like me ( only 5') then I suggest teen shops or online stores I order off of hot topic I love their jeans and they easily fit my small body.

Hi -

Welcome to the forum.

I'm not suggesting anything here but your journey at some point will involve your family.  For some that means getting support and for others not so much.  You have to be the judge here.  Also, support groups often are helpful.

Take care and stay in touch,

Rachel

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I'll let the guys give you practical advice, they live it!

Have you talked to your folks to get you to a therapist at an endocrinology unit? If you can you can be put on blockers to stop any further feminisation until you can start taking T.

I know it depends heavily what country you are but many places have services for transgender youth - as long as the parents are on side.