Hi everyone!!! My chosen name is Émily and I'm a French Canadian Trans woman from Québec. I'm 28 years old and it as been a little less then a year since I've realise that I'm transsexual. I've gone to the therapist 4 times now and she seem more convince of it then I am!!! To be fair I have no doubt that I am a woman, I just fear all the trouble transition will cause. Now my therapist want me to "come out" as much as possible mainly because I'm a shut in without a life.

I did come out to my mom though and it as gone well except for the obvious "are you sure?" question. Now I was suppose to go to a trans meeting but I've chicken out. I will try again after another therapy session. I'm not sure if I have any dysphoria though. I mean that while I can't imagine myself having sex with my current equipment  , it does not bother me otherwise. I do however feel euphoria from being consider a woman in every way.

Anyway that was my intro, have a good day!!!
Émily

Hi Emily (how do you do that ' above the E?) and Welcome to Susan's

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Lovely to have you here, lots of Canadian people here as well so post away and make new friends!

Welcome to Susan's Place. We tend to have different ways of feeling our transsexualism. I felt uncomfortable in life but wasn't strongly disturbed by my body. It felt right when I cross dressed. After surgery I am completely comfortable in my body (other than a few pounds I shouldn't have put on in the first place) and the feelings of wrongness are gone. Also missing is the depression that I felt before I realized I had become a woman.

Attend the group meeting because they will help you accept yourself and you will see how it will become possible to move into your new life. I had much the same problem when I first joined my therapy group because I felt like a phony but after a few meetings, They accepted me and I accepted them and I never missed a meeting. Much of my growth as a person happened in those meetings.

Hi Emily 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Quote from: Cindy on October 03, 2015, 03:46:30 AM
Hi Emily (how do you do that ' above the E?) and Welcome to Susan's

I have a French keyboard so I'm not sure what it would be on yours sorry!!!

Thank you all for the welcome and I do promise I will go to those meetings Dena. I just need a little more confidence is all!!!

Hugs 

Émily

Big warm welcome to Susan's Émily

(I cheated  ) Well done on your getting on well with your therapist sessions... Coming out to all is not easy, but having come out to your mom, which is hard, is a big step, but as you come out to more it does become easier, on the whole...

Really look forward to seeing you around the forum's, lovely to have you here with us

L Katy 

Welcome Emily,
     I'm new here myself, the forums are filled with all different stories from all different walks of life.  I hope you find friends,comfort and support here.  I think you found a great place.   As it goes for parents and friends, give them time.  I have a trans son who when he came out at age 14 as a lesbian then at 15 said "daddy, I want to be a boy" was shocked at how I took it.  He was surprised that I didn't say anything except I was proud of him for being himself.  I continued to slip and say his birth name for a short time, but now fully call him by his male name.   All of his friends do the same and its brought him great relief.  I'm proud of you for telling your mother. good luck!

warning!!! I've just read through what I've written and I think I need to warn you all before going any further. While I did not describe it too much there is mention of rape and I am not sure if I should just delete it or not. I hope this warning is enough though!!!

Quote from: katrinaw on October 05, 2015, 06:19:21 AM
Big warm welcome to Susan's Émily   

(I cheated  )

lol no need to cheat Emily is fine. Thank for the welcome and yes coming out is probably the hardest especially to close family. My mother offer to tell everyone else herself but I'm not sure how good an idea it is?

Quote from: Kylie1 on October 05, 2015, 06:55:27 AM
Welcome Emily,
     I'm new here myself, the forums are filled with all different stories from all different walks of life.  I hope you find friends,comfort and support here.  I think you found a great place.   As it goes for parents and friends, give them time.  I have a trans son who when he came out at age 14 as a lesbian then at 15 said "daddy, I want to be a boy" was shocked at how I took it.  He was surprised that I didn't say anything except I was proud of him for being himself.  I continued to slip and say his birth name for a short time, but now fully call him by his male name.   All of his friends do the same and its brought him great relief.  I'm proud of you for telling your mother. good luck!

Thank you!!! You seem like a great father I'm sure it help your son a great deal to have such support from you!!! Want to trade place with my dad?!?!? There is no way I'm coming out to him ever! He is very closed minded and while he believe we have a great relationship, it's not the case from my point of view. To be fair he does have some reasons for being closed minded, he caught his brother raping one of my 3 half brothers the oldest being 11 at the time so... Sigh and here I am defending him again even when my first memory is of him assaulting my mom when I was 3 or 4 years old. I'm not sure how that affect me with my transsexuality but I know I always did my best not to displease him even now. I don't want to give the impression that he ever abuse me or anything it was more of an emotional manipulation from his part. Not that he was consciously doing it though, I'm pretty sure he is just about always sincere (I have a lot of empathy I can tell) but the end result is the same regardless.  Anyway he is 73 years old now and he has told me so many time in the last 10 years that he did not have long to live (cancer, cardiac problems, diabetes etc.) I'm hoping it's all true. I know it sound bad but I'm not really hoping for his death per se, just an end to all the trouble it cause me really. Sorry about the rant it's just feel good to write it all like that  .
I'm really happy about your son and I hope his transition goes well for him!!!

hugs!!!

Émily

Emily,

That doesn't sound bad at all about you secretly wishing that about your dad.  I think wishing that is more wishing the tyranny that you live under from being trained emotionally by a dominant force in your life would die.  The death of that force means the end of the tyranny.. Does that make sense?   I have a dad that is very similar.  Hard core military background with an extremely abusive father.  So... the lessons my dad learned as a child he tried to teach to me.  I strive to be the best understanding father and person I can be.  My father now old and beaten down with arthritis and a myriad of other health issues has opened up a few different ways that make me think he may have some gender dysphoria, which is interesting because I do and my son does.

The facades we exhibit compared to the reality within can be quite the dichotomy. 

And it does feel good to write this.  I'm happy to find people who totally understand where I'm coming from too.

xx

Hi Emily and welcome to Susan's.

Quote from: Cindy on October 03, 2015, 03:46:30 AM
Hi Emily (how do you do that ' above the E?)

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Cindy

Sorry all. On a Mac, you can hit option then e, then capital or lower e and Voila! É  I think on windows machines the following does it:
é: Press Ctrl and type "'" (apostrophe). Release both keys and type "e".

Back to the regularly scheduled posts.

Émily, welcome. Have no fear of chickening out. This is a tough path but I think we all agree worth it. Living with less façade and actually living(not faking it) is worth it.

It is a great supportive site here.

With warmth,

Joanna

Hi Emily, welcome to Susan's.

I was apprehensive about going to group. I went and never miss going, unless it is necessary.