This guy, I hardly know from work events,  approach me as I was walking to the grocery store. He then ask if I want to eat with him. I was hesitant, but I thought if was attracted to me, Im not going to hurt his feelings, because he wasn't attractive, but he was the first guy in like 10 months to ask me out... and the last guy was a guy I crazy about. And so went to eat, small talk, but he wanted me to wait until he was done eating so we could walk back. I didnt get hit on, or felt like he was flirting, but wanted my company.

Its weird, but Im not sure if he was gay/bi, or just needed a friend. Or its normal for two guys to eat together....from where he came from. He offer me his drink and cigerette too. And hopes to see me again one day.

Hes leaving the country next week.

is he leaving the country long or short term ?

Quote from: stephaniec on October 03, 2015, 03:48:54 PM
is he leaving the country long or short term ?

We'll never see each other again. I'm just a little confused, since he didn't tell me why he wanted to hang out with me when I asked him. And we really didn't talk much, since we weren't really friends or anything. I think he may had a crush on me (since he always says 'hi' to me, and stops for a minute), but he's afraid to tell me, but he took his chance. Yes, sadly, happens quite often enough guys will come out of the woodwork when they have one chance to know me.

But, I would never date him seriously though even if it was the case, I just didn't want to reject him in case he really built up courage. And maybe he wasn't into me, and I'm thinking all this... but it's so rare (dinners from people in the real world) that I can't help but think this. And he didn't want me to leave him at any time....

Oh, well.

Well, I just chalk it up as a good experience . I desperately want a guy to asked me to go to dinner since transitioning , but it hasn't happened yet, but I'm working on it. I'm hoping to get a movie out of it too.

We use to judge ourselves too hard. I have actually no problem passing with nothing more than srs, but I still find that there is nothing special about me physically or else.

This last year, I learned that my "perfect image of myself " I could imagine was not that perfect. It's when I stopped to care about my physical features that peoples began to invite me for dîner and... more.

Quote from: stephaniec on October 03, 2015, 04:12:34 PM
Well, I just chalk it up as a good experience . I desperately want a guy to asked me to go to dinner since transitioning , but it hasn't happened yet, but I'm working on it. I'm hoping to get a movie out of it too.

I know the feeling very well, and you're quite beautiful in my opinion (sometimes it's not about looks). Maybe they are bashful.  Maybe they don't know how to say hello. Guys are funny like that... they'll wait until the last minute to express their feelings, after the point it's even worth it.

I did, however, did the biggest thing today. I sent an email to a *appears LGBT himself* psychologist who treats transgender people for an appointment by the end of this month/hours and such. It's about now, I do this, or at least go in the right direction. He does psychological evaluations, and so I am going to wait for answer.

You know how long I been on here? And I haven't even done hormones yet. I'm still in my early 20s, but still, I'm killing myself slowly. And I saw myself for the first time... I'm death.

Here's a song I been listening a lot lately "Wake Up" by Hilary Duff.... I kind of think of this song as a transgender "wake up" song, based on those lyrics. Or it could be me. Or at least it has high potential.

There's people talking
They talk about me
They know my name
They think they know everything
But they don't know anything
About me                                                           *like how we have to hide our true selves *

I put my makeup on a Saturday night
I try to make it happen                               *trying to make the girl appear in the mirror//she even puts a wig on here*
Try to make it all right

I know I make mistakes
I'm living life day to day
It's never really easy but it's ok                       *realizing how hard this life is*

People all around you
They don't really know you
Everybody watching like it's some kind of show              *transistioning?*
Everybody's watching

well, to be perfectly clear I don't mind compliments.

While I was in the Army and stationed in Korea it was very normal for guys to get lunch or dinner together. It was actually kinda weird to go alone. We'd go out in varying groups from 2 guys upwards of 20 guys at times, depending on what was going on. A lot of guys were single or had their wives, girl friends etc back in the US. Even when I was back in the US some times I went out with my guy friends before transitioning. Honestly unless you ask a person directly if its a date it can be hard to tell, now that I'm thinking about it. I've been dating both genders since transitioning, and I still have platonic lunches/dinners with both genders since transitioning. Really if you didn't say it was a date before hand it probably wasn't.