Right now I'm kind of in a pickle because I'm not sure what I should do. I've been wanting to get my name and gender change at the same time so I don't have to change everything twice (and I just need permission from a physician or psychologist for gender change) but of course that can be pricey, especially when adding all the costs of the actual name/gender change, reissuing a license, etc. I hate the fact that once someone sees/hears my legal name they immediately switch to referring me as female.

But I've been seeing a lot of things that even with insurance paying for top surgery there is still a lot of uncovered costs and I want to make sure I will be able to afford that in a year (the time I have to wait). And this is something that I've been finding myself growing really impatient about.

I don't know if I should just save all of money now and wait (in which I will be a man with legal female name) or alternatively get name and gender change but then have less money for the upcoming summer where I will need plenty.

Man, that is a good freakin question. I think personally, I would go for the name change first because (and this sounds mega dumb but) when I started calling top surgeons about consults, I found myself really embarrassed and frustrated over the fact that I was giving my legal name. It made me feel delegitimised, and while all the offices were great about it, I found myself wishing I had done the name change thing first. So that interaction changed my own funding priorities a little bit.

I'm still not sure which will come first for me either, but that's the way I'm leaning. Good luck!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Have you figured out what your exact costs are for everything? What are you including in "uncovered expenses" for top surgery? Time is on your side. The courts in most places are very slow. This is especially true if you have to physically appear in court to have the name change processed. I didn't, and it took about a month. This is what I ended up doing monthly (started medically/legally transitioning in December, top surgery was end of April):

December - Met with lawyers to draft paperwork, got letters from doctor for document updates
January - Paid for name change and ordered copies in advance
February - Paid top surgery consult fee and deposit
March - Paid for new driver's license with updated name/gender marker, booked hotel room for top surgery, got prescriptions filled
April - Paid balance for top surgery
May - Paid for updated passport

It didn't cost me anything to update SSA, college records, credit cards, insurance policies, etc. It maybe cost me a total of $5 in postage to mail things to people that needed them, and maybe another $20 in parking fees (I live in a city). My total investment for updating all my records was under $250.

I actually didn't spend money on other little expenses for top surgery. I made an Amazon wishlist and shared it on Facebook. I didn't feel comfortable asking for money for the surgery itself, but a lot of my friends/family wanted to make sure I had the things I needed. I got all the necessary goodies like bandages, Neosporin, gauze pads, medical tape, straws, stool softeners, baby wipes, etc. I also added Amazon gift cards on there, and several people gifted me those as well. I highly recommend doing this.

I only spent about $30-40 dollars to change the basics. My name change and then the name change on all of my bank stuff, birth certificate, drivers, and Social Security. I'll be able to change my gender on my BC when I go back to my surgeon and have her fill out a form to send in. I have my drivers license letter so I can go to the DMV and get that taken care of (when I have time).

I did all of this Pre-Op because I figured it would be easier since I was on T and was passing already. Didn't want to show people my license and then they look at me weird.

Like some others have said - I'd definitely advocate going for the name change (and gender change, if you can get it). I just filed my petition for name change this past Friday (woo!) and was told when I went in that they're currently scheduling court hearings for mid/late-November, so... it'll be a while, but I did have to pay when I dropped off the forms. If you do have court hearings you need to attend, then yeah - it might be better to get the ball rolling. Realistically, it's likely (unless your insurance covers absolutely everything) that the name and gender change will cost you FAR less than the surgery, and they'll make an impact in your quality of life (or at least, I feel like they already are for me) very quickly.

Figuring out how much top surgery cost after insurance coverage seems to be quite the challenge since everyone's insurances always pay different amounts. So I only really know that my definite/pretty definite costs are my copay for the covered part of the surgery ($250), the copay for the consultation ($50), cost of nipple reconstruction (if needed because it isn't listed as something covered), and minimal travel cost (since I have to stay in-network). But I've been finding difficult to estimate the other uncovered costs and not sure how to find that out.

I asked the clerk for a fee waiver when I applied for the name change. I was given a form to fill out. I put what I made and I qualified for a free name change. I saved $401 in my county.

The judge also knew why I was changing my name since it was going from female to a male name. She saw that I presented male and told me that I didn't have to tell her why I was changing it because she already knew why lol . 

It was pretty amazing getting all my legal paperwork changed.  Overall I spent more than I might have needed to- some courts allow you to file for hardship, which would also reduce the fees.  If your surgery is in a year- eh, I think you can manage to save up pretty well.  I did a lot of lame odd jobs on my days off and that made up for the legal paperwork fees pretty fast!