Hi, everyone! ^_^
First off, I just want to say that you were all so kind and welcoming to me and it touched my heart. I am so relieved to find a safe, wonderful place like this with all of you lovely ladies. If it's okay, I would like to share a bit more about myself and my journey. I'll be sure to start posting in non-introduction forums after this.
As I said before, I am 24 years old and for as long as I can remember (Which is about the age of 12) I've had a fascination with the female life and being a girl. I used to watch fictional stories about characters who change from male to female and I loved it. For a while (And this is still a worry I have) I was scared of the fact that this was such a turn on for me, and it still is. I won't deny that the idea of becoming the opposite sex is very pleasurable to me, and I have almost never, since I first started, err... pleased myself to the idea of anything other than being a woman or becoming one. I fear that sometimes it's just a weird fetish and that I'm just some weirdo. I've talked about this with some of my transgender friends, and to my surprise, they actually said that it was the same case for them. This made me feel better.
Anyway, as I continued on in life the thoughts were always in the back of my head, and they would come straight to the front of the stage when I was alone at night, but I always dismissed these ideas as just a strange turn on, and nothing else. I never even considered the fact that I could be transgender, and I knew almost nothing about the process of transitioning. I was scared to figure out that was the truth.
But then something wonderful happened over a year ago. I finally admitted this deep secret to a very close friend of mine and she was so fascinated by it and told me that whatever I believe she will always be my friend. This friend of mine changed my life. She encouraged me to explore this side of me, and so, for the first time I no longer felt guilty about any of it. I began drawing myself as a girl, writing stories and eventually, I actually started crossdressing. i had done it before but felt guilty, as if I was going to Hell (Don't ask. I was raised with silly religious beliefs)
But this time, I felt incredible. I have gone all out since then. I bought my own clothes, practiced my voice, even got a nice, quality wig. I began posting my pictures on Deviantart for the purpose of finding out who I truly was. Upon using the site I eventually gained the courage and the encouragement to tell my therapist about it. Telling her was liberating. For the second time ever someone else knew, and she told me I should explore this as much as possible. I began telling some of my closest friends (I work online, so I have a ton of friends all over the world. I am blessed in that regard) And all but one of the many friends I have told was so kind and welcoming. They have helped me take this a step further. They refer to me by my female name and use female pronouns. My therapist wanted me to test out being a woman in certain social situations and this was the beginning. I love it so much. Being called "Katie," and "she" never gets old. And yet, it almost feels natural.
Finally, I have begun to see a gender therapist about my gender dysphoria. I'm at a point now where my desire to be a woman is stronger than ever. I just love embracing my female side and letting it out. It feels like the real me, and I dream that someday I can at least try to live my entire life as Katie.
Thank you all for reading! Hope you enjoyed, and if you have any tips, questions, comments please feel free to reply <3
