I feel really distant from my emotions, like all the time. When I want to cry about something I can never seem to do it, I'm working on getting on HRT sometime within a few months if I'm lucky, estrogen and testosterone blockers soon hopefully. I just have to deal with freezing my gross baby-worms for maybe later use and getting back into therapy (I had to quit therapy for a few years because I lost my job shortly after the first time I tried to transition.)

I was just wondering if after starting on HRT anyone felt more in tune with their emotions?
Is crying any easier? I can't stand feeling this distant all the time, it's lame.

Hi Hon,

I tell all the new girls to buy shares in kleenex, having a good cry is one of the first effects! Yes you get a lot more emotional very quickly. Remember you are going to go through puberty - again

Quote from: LizardFaceLizzy on October 08, 2015, 01:20:11 AM
I was just wondering if after starting on HRT anyone felt more in tune with their emotions?
Is crying any easier? I can't stand feeling this distant all the time, it's lame.

In my experience Testosterone acts like a chain-link fence between your emotions and your environment.  You can see what's going on around you, and you can try to poke your fingers through the fence if you want to feel something, but you're protected from being overwhelmed.  In exchange, you get more courage and confidence, because it's hard to get through that fence.

On Estrogen your emotions are free from being fenced in, but they're also unprotected.  You feel vulnerable and you miss the safety of the fence sometimes.  If something in your environment is positive, you might laugh and feel happier than you ever did.  But if something in your environment is sad, you'll feel the worst sadness you've ever felt.  You can bounce between the two within minutes, so it can be jolting.

Mfox really took a great technical approach to it, but in the end it really does because as you free those bottled emitions you will cry, laugh, and get every emotion more than before. I teared just from reading mfox's post as it was. I wouldn't fear the emotions though or you will be in for a very bumpy ride. Hugs
Mariah.

Agree with mfox.

I was always a bit of a softy to start of with but as time went on with testosterone I could isolate myself off my emotions.   Now having been on estrogen for 3 years it's like a dam has burst.  I was watching the Japanese movie Departures (about funerals) and couldn't stop bawling at the end of it and felt completely silly over it all.

For the most part I'm not overly emotional, but every now and then, I lose it completely.  I sort of love it and hated it at the same time, it's hard to describe.

My experience has maybe been slightly different.  I have always felt emotions very strongly but worked very hard, sometimes successfully, to keep them invisible.  I have also always been affected pretty strongly by the emotions of people around me.  But I really didn't cry much.  Sometimes at movies I couldn't stop a few tears but other than that full out crying has been rare except a handful of times when I was mourning someone's death.  None of that really seems to have changed much.  What has changed is at the other end of the spectrum.  I feel happiness more and want to smile a lot.  I also don't feel rage building up inside to hulk like proportions like I often used to.  I still feel sadness too but no massive increase in actual tears.  I'm not really sure what any of that really means.  Maybe I'm strange.  That's what people have always said anyway.  :-)


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4 months in.. feel much more relaxed.. been happier way more now than ever before.. haven't had any issues with crying or uncontrolled emotions.. maybe it's due to come..

I won't type it all out again, but I made two posts in this thread that describe my emotional turmoil of late, hehe.  Basically though, yes, my emotions are running wild now when I basically used to have none at all!

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=197089.0

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