Realizing that I was trans wasn't easy. It was a slow and painful process that had kept me awake at night. Everytime the thought crossed my mind, a burning sensation creeps in my heart. Living with a conservative Filipino family made it even more difficult because they have a one sided view of things. They see transgenders as people with something wrong in their temples. It was difficult living this way. I've never felt so alone. I can't tell them what I am because they'll surely persecute me. My family is loving and I love them too, and that is part of my fear. So I live in the shadows, I am the girl I want to be online but never in front of them. It's not as easy as "if they love you they'll understand." Nothing is as easy as that. I wanted to go somewhere and live on my own as myself.. Bit its not easy.

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194986.msg1737439.html#msg1737439

and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197044.msg1753512.html#msg1753512

Its a process... take your time, you will succeed eventually.
I'd say keep talking here... there is also a chat...

and if you feel like it there are helplines... they also have a chat...

*hugs*

Support from your family, friends, are key to your success in finding your true self. It creates a base for you to flourish. Take your time, and develope a strategy to gain that support.
There must be someone close who will understand your needs, maybe start with them.



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There is always an issue of trust. You can never really know someone enough to trust them with your life.