Yep, I believe the only requirement I've heard timewise is one year on T / one year living as male.

I'd spend some time researching what kind of phallo you want. You would have a lot of great options in Europe, but depending on which procedure you want, getting an American second opinion might be recommended. Dr. Monstrey in Belgium is one that I would look up for sure. I've heard that he is very accommodating of patient requests. I'm planning to go to Dr. Miro in Serbia. His team has been excellent so far in terms of answering my questions and getting my consult scheduled.

I am also post op from Dr.Fischer. I am very happy with my results minus my one nipple looking larger than the other but, I am still healing.

I also have issues with the downstairs business. I never had vaginal intercourse with anyone, never let anyone go up there and I have been so fearful of even touching myself there. Nothing feels right for me between my legs at all and I absolutely hate it. Honestly, I haven't even noticed that much growth for being on T for 2 years. Some guys experience it differently. I guess I wasn't meant to be a big fella :p which is depressing.

I think you should do what feels right and if homones does not feels right you should not do it.
I don't care about your gender therapist, I feel she isn't doing a good job if she does not consider your own wishes. My opinion is that threatment should always be a choise never a force, its an opinion I got specially since I live in a country who had sterilization on trans people up untill 2014 and I heard the stories of people who had regreats because even if they "kinda" wanted it, it was never a fair choice, but a choice made out of presure and it lead people to feel anger.

I worry if you take homones when you are sure you dont want to, you are not going to feel any different and you will just feel frustrated that this is what you felt you had to do to convince her. (and then what if she isn't even convinced that you are trans enough for her opinion?)

I think online therapy sound like a good alternative if you cant find anyone nearby.

for the surgery thing I honestly I have clue. I never heard about it before. I belive everything is probably posible with money, but I think in general its difficult to find anyone who would do these surgeries, specially the clituris thing sound risky, I would worry about something done wrong so you would get pain. also generally everything out of the norm is difficult to get. cosmetic surgeries are often only working one way. you can get your eyes lifted to look less tired but its difficult to make a doctor give you the eyes that makes you look more tired (know this from a friend who actually asked for this and got refused )

If its not an option you can try get a prostate. I think Realmagic makes some pretty realistic packers in various skin colours.
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Quote from: Isabelle on September 10, 2015, 08:50:26 AM
Is there anywhere in Europe where you can claim to have converted to Islam, and get a doctor to remove it for you?

What the flying f*** ??
this is not what Muslims in Europa do!
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Also for something I should say I dont think Europa is anymore easy even if you may find a doctor somewhere, after all I am not an expert of world-wide doctors.

What I know is many countries got bad transrights where you probably wouldnt be able to go thought with this.

many countries only got allows this type of surgery in the country if you live in the country/is a citizian of the country, and have followed the guidelines of X amount of therapy there, (or something that equals it) which often takes half a year at least.

then also many countries have sterilization requirement for transgender people which depends from homonel sterilization to surgery castration, and this can effect you in whenever or not they want to deal with you.

at least you should get a therapy letter or something to just have a chance of getting bottom-surgery, for the clit thing it may undergo something non-trans related, in that caise I have no idea what the rules are.

At the risk of being TMI, some guys on T just really don't notice clitoral growth. I've been on T for about seven months and, though I think I still need to work out some dosing issues (apparently I'm still not done shark week, grrr), my downstairs really didn't change noticeably. My libido definitely shot up, but I'm not asexual and if you have no libido now that likely won't be an issue for you. I also never got the intense hunger that a lot of guys report (I did have a thirst of the extreme variety for the first month or so, however), and my voice is pretty decently dropped so it's not as though the T isn't working on me at all. I can say I've had some downstairs growth, but i only noticed after about month four when I felt even remotely comfortable taking a more hands-on approach to masturbating. As you said, you have no interest or pleasure in sexual contact of any kind, so in my opinion it's likely that you might not notice any growth at all. If I didn't masturbate, I know I wouldn't have noticed. YMMV though, and you are of course encouraged to not start T if you aren't sure the benefits outweigh the risks for you.

AFAIK, surgeons want guys to be on T for at least a year (preferably closer to two) before phallo, as having that growth is an important factor in getting the optimal results. That being said, if erotic sensation is irrelevant to you (as you've indicated) then it's not outside the realm of possibility to convince a surgeon, though I'd imagine it would be somewhat difficult.

It's your choice, obviously, and I'm sorry your therapist is trying to pressure you like that : /

Ah, asexuality... Society makes us think we are forced to have sex and a healthy sexuality. That we NEED to have sexual desire, else we are likely sick or have mental problems. It's a real pain in the ass and I think it's insulting and disrepectful to what we are and feel. Honnestly, me and my wife both are pretty much asexual. We had sex a lot of times, and it was good, but how to say it ? We don't really care. We never experienced attraction, hotness... I have tenderness, a ton of it, but sexual attraction ? I'm not sure I ever got that. It took me a long time to figure it out.

Yesterday I was reading a french trans help website, and there was this epic sentence : "androcur is castrating us, getting rid of sexual desire which is the very core of our happiness and well being". Wow. Good lord I have no word to say how utterly stupid and insulting this is. So if I have no sexual attraction I'm unhappy, sick, and I should be treated as soon as possible ? THANK YOU. 

However, now that this is said, there's a few thing that should be noted :

- Sexuality as a whole (be it hetero-, homo-, bi-, pan-, a-) is something always changing over the course of your life (gray sexuality and such, well explained in the link you send us). I had times when I was totally asexual, and times when I was a bit sexually attracted to women. Sometimes a bit sexually attracted to men. Though I have to say that I was mostly asexual all my life, there was time when I actually felt a little of that. And while unnecessary, it was enjoyable. So I don't reject it or the possibility of it and I think you shouldn't.

- Being transgender is likely to cause heavy troubles in your sexuality and taking decisions about sexuality can be very difficult. I'm going to get a vagina, but honnestly, except for the need of being "balanced", I'm not even sure if I'll use it with a boy, or a girl, or if I'll want to use it with -anyone-. It makes decisions on this side a bit hard. Since I'm mostly asexual, why would I care about sensitive preservation and pleasure ? But then, I am curious about it. I don't want to rule any opportunity out. And what if I'm suddently super attracted to the guy I'm in love with ? Then that would be a shame if I'm not functionnal.

Trans people getting super sexual after their SRS is not unheard of. SRS is changing something at the core of your sexuality. Woman getting a boner hours before the SRS, after years not having any. Wet dreams in the recovery room. Etc. That's normal. When you get SRS, you relearn your whole sexuality. It might change in the process.


You're trans, which means you're doing very dangerous, complex, and life-changing stuff that should be handled with super extra caution. Don't rule anything out. You might very well not need testosterone, and you might very well need to cut your clit. But before making those choices, I advise you to do everything possible to make sure these are the right choices.

By the way, maybe you don't like anything about testosterone, which is something I can understand. I enjoy oestrogene, but I quite like being tall with little boobs, because it's who I am. It fits me. Maybe testosterone doesn't fit you and that would be a huge mistake to take it. There's no "good way to be a boy or a girl". Normativity is a pain in the ass. Just be who you are.

Now this aside, I think I understand what you're going through with hating your clit, even though it's totally a strange thing for me. I have heavy dysphoria but never hated my penis. Ultimately penis = clitoris. It's the same tissues and things, shaped differently. But I understand at some point you might hate it so much that there's no way you'd even want to fix it. You just want to scrap it totally. You don't want to hear about it anymore. Your relationship is over. That's harsh on your poor little penis-to-be but maybe it's unavoidable.

Now on a last note, as Isabelle said (I'm quite fond of Isabelle  ), if ultimately what you feel best for you is no testosterone + cutting clit + phallo, then go for it by any mean. And be happy. I'm positive you'll find a surgeon, though it will be a lot harder than for the average trans.

Good luck !