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Came Out to Everyone

Started by thorhugs, October 11, 2015, 04:08:22 PM

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thorhugs

Yesterday, after telling my mom in person, I finally made my announcements across all of my social media last night. My biggest worry was the Facebook post, due to some rather conservative family.

I have never had a good relationship with my father or my two sisters. My sisters took to calling me a lesbian because I wore men's clothes (teeshirt, jeans, hoodies) in high school, or because I had a female roommate. And when I had a transgender roommate, my father said a lot of awful things.

But this afternoon, my little sister messaged me with nothing but glowing support. And I just burst into tears. She even apologized for things she'd said in the past. I was so prepared for a backlash that the relief is what made me cry.

I still worry about what meeting with them in person is going to be like because I haven't seen them in over two years. But that's a bridge to deal with when I reach it.
- Colin Moore

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

I draw things sometimes

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captains

Dude, that's huge! Congratulations. Coming out to the masses is a huge hurdle, especially when you you're anticipating a negative response. But you done it! Whoop, whoop!

I'm glad your sister has grown up and matured enough to reach out to you and apologise. I'd have been teary too. I don't think people understand how much it means.
- cameron
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thorhugs

She later proved to be not as matured as I'd thought, but it was on a totally other topic. Apparently even my dad is supportive? But he hasn't said anything really.
- Colin Moore

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

I draw things sometimes

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captains

YIKES, but also oh well, take the victory where you can. Has your dad acknowledged your post/status/whatever at all? Or have you just heard he knows through the grapevine.
- cameron
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thorhugs

Quote from: captains on October 11, 2015, 04:40:42 PM
YIKES, but also oh well, take the victory where you can. Has your dad acknowledged your post/status/whatever at all? Or have you just heard he knows through the grapevine.

He commented on my post with just "Congratulations" and nothing more. It was my sister who said he was supportive, if a little stunned.

When I told my mom, she wasn't the least bit surprised and claimed to have known since I was a teenager. But the rest of my family had no idea I "felt this way."
- Colin Moore

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

I draw things sometimes

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veniamviam

Congrats, dude. I hope things continue going well from here. I totally hear you on the teary bit--the first time my aunt said my name, I nearly cried myself (and I've never been a crier). I'm glad your sister took it well, and even if he's not hyper-activist PFLAG dad level supportive, it sounds like your dad's supportive as well. Stunned is pretty par for the course as I've seen it--that'll lessen in time, and being supportive already sounds like a great way to start this journey.
viam
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thorhugs

Quote from: veniamviam on October 11, 2015, 06:15:32 PM
Congrats, dude. I hope things continue going well from here. I totally hear you on the teary bit--the first time my aunt said my name, I nearly cried myself (and I've never been a crier). I'm glad your sister took it well, and even if he's not hyper-activist PFLAG dad level supportive, it sounds like your dad's supportive as well. Stunned is pretty par for the course as I've seen it--that'll lessen in time, and being supportive already sounds like a great way to start this journey.

Well, my dad's always been at least mildly homophobic and transphobic. Not on passionately so, but in the more subtle things. Micro-aggression, I think? Like he wouldn't go to Starbucks when I was in high school (late 90's) because the make baristas were too "flamboyant." Stuff like that.

And I just got a text from my mom, calling me Colin and I almost cried all over again. I hadn't had a chance to talk to her about my name because our conversation was so brief. But she saw my post on Facebook and started using it right away.

The tricky part is going to be her new husband.....he's even less close-minded than my dad. Or we can just avoid him all together. I'm fine with that.
- Colin Moore

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

I draw things sometimes

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Kayla Marie

Quote from: thorhugs on October 11, 2015, 05:03:40 PM
He commented on my post with just "Congratulations" and nothing more. It was my sister who said he was supportive, if a little stunned.

When I told my mom, she wasn't the least bit surprised and claimed to have known since I was a teenager. But the rest of my family had no idea I "felt this way."


Quote from: thorhugs on October 11, 2015, 08:57:37 PM
And I just got a text from my mom, calling me Colin and I almost cried all over again. I hadn't had a chance to talk to her about my name because our conversation was so brief. But she saw my post on Facebook and started using it right away.

   Congratulation!! Glad to hear your family is behind you! That's a huge step coming out to everyone else. I'm pretty sure my mom knows too. She almost (at least in my mind lol) caught me in my room wearing lingerie when I was 14. When I heard the door knob turning my heart nearly exploded. I jumped up and ran and hid in the closet (literally and figuratively 😉). She heard me trip and immediately started apologizing for not knocking first. A few minutes later she came in to say goodnight. She hugged me a little tighter and just a few seconds longer than usual and said "I love you... (she paused a few seconds) no matter what." For years now I've wished I would have just opened up right then, but I was so shaken by the whole thing that I didn't. Plus, after my divorce she wanted to help out and decided to surprise me by doing most of my laundry 😦. I know she saw my girl clothes because they were hung up and neatly folded. So at this point, even if she doesn't know I'm trans, she probably wouldn't be shocked by the news.
   As for your dad, I'm sure he'll come around once he's had time to process everything. The fact that he commented on your facebook post at all is a good start. And your mom using your old name could just be force of habit. This is something I've been mentally preparing myself for. Pronouns too. As much as I would love for my old boy male name to disappear into thin air, I've come to realize that it's a process. People are human. Once she has gotten used to seeing the real you she will get used to addressing you correctly. Again congratulations on coming out and I hope things get better and better for you from here on.

Hugs
Kayla Marie
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thorhugs

Thank you Kayla! But I guess I wasn't clear. I'm FtM. Colin is the name I WANT her to use. I hadn't had a chance to tell her what I'd picked but she found it and started using it right away.


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- Colin Moore

"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."

I draw things sometimes

  •  

Kayla Marie

Quote from: thorhugs on October 12, 2015, 01:38:39 AM
Thank you Kayla! But I guess I wasn't clear. I'm FtM. Colin is the name I WANT her to use. I hadn't had a chance to tell her what I'd picked but she found it and started using it right away.

Omg I'm an airhead! That makes sense now. I knew you are FtM from reading your posts, but I totally didn't make the connection on your name. My bad. Well now I'm even more excited for you! That really speaks volumes for your mom's character. She must really be an amazing woman. I wish you the best on your journey ahead. Good meeting you Colin.

Hugs
Kayla Marie
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BridgetYvonne

I just want to say to everyone out there CONGRATS! For me it all started Aug '12. I was dropping off some friends at the medical center because they wanted to sell sperm for beer money. Vikki was at the phones. Dave, a friend of mine ask her "Will you give me a hand?" She looks at him & says "Wont your right hand be jealous?" I knew she was for me. I asked her when she gets done. She said that works at the Prosthetic Research Section & that she was helping out a friend who was getting something at a food truck. She said that she gets off work at 11PM. At 11PM I was sitting at the
entrance. I asked her if she was hungry? She said Yes, her 'friend' didn't even get her anything from the food truck. Our 1st date was at Denny's About a month later we were watching Pan-Am or Madmen & I commented how sexy I thought early 60s women's fashions were. She commented "You know how uncomfy those bra/girdles are?" I wanted to say yes because I CD but I thought best not to. 2 days before Halloween she bought  a dark blue blazer, matching skirt & pillbox hat & white blouse. She had me Nairshower. After putting on a pair of 'granny panties' she had me sit at her lighted Vanity & proceeded to apply makeup. I 'fought' back but gave in. She then had me put on the Pseudo Pan Am stewardess outfit.
In Feb 13 I was informed that my job plus others was going away. I had some money put away. I asked Vikki if she knew anyone who I could rent a room from because I was going to lose my apt too. She said that I could move in w/ her & do the cooking/cleaning. In Apr I helped her spring clean & we packed away some of her clothes for Goodwill. While she was at work, I went thru the boxes. (Luckily we are same height/weight) I found a slightly wavy strawberry blonde wig at a community theater troupe garage sale. I bought a pair of 34B breastforms online. May 13 I decided to take 'Bridget' out for a test drive. Bridget was/is my alter ego, named after Bridget Fonda my favorite actress. It was kind of scary to do. The night before I packed up my Bridget kit. Next day after Vikki went to work, I waited 20 minutes then walked 2 miles to a bridge that goes over a dry creek bed. In the creek bed is an abandoned pump station. I quickly changed into Bridget & walked home. as I was walking, thoughts ran thru my head "What if someone recognizes me/ What if Vikki recognizes me?" I then took a deep breath& said So what! I got home safely. Jul '13 I decided it be best I tell Vikki about Bridget. I sat her down & told her that I have something to say. She then started "Is it something you want me to do in bed? I can get bigger boobs! Is it another girl?" I patted her hand & said "Kind of" I then dumped my Bridget kit on the table. She looked at the items & then said "OK, I want to meet..." I replied "Bridget" She shot back "You have one hour. You can use my clothes, Vanity, bathroom" I sat there. She then tapped her watch & said "TICK TOCK" I ran into her bathroom, showered, & got dressed. I made it by 5 minutes. After inspecting me & telling me that I looked 'passable' she then asked If I wanted to be a guy who dresses in women's clothes or become  a girl? I told her a girl. She told me that the Med Cntr we met at has a TG/TS section & I can be tested & then be put on meds. Oct 13 I passed the tests. I was put on HRT. For months nothing! Then after 90 days I was retested & it was determined that the meds were too low so they upped my dosage. My skin on my hands & feet began to peel so they decided to A-castrate me & B-inject pellets in my nipples, armpits, testes & 1 deep inside my nasal passage. Not sure what was worse, the castration or the nasal pellet. This has to be done every 6 months for life. Mar 14 my chest began to itch. I was informed that my body was readying itself for breast growth. Aug 14 I was 34AA. Mar 15 I was 34A. Aug 15 I was 34B. I am now VERY full 34A. I wear a 34B because 34As are a bit snug. I kind of threw Vikki for a loop when I put on my 34A bra & it was too tight So I went into her bedroom (the Mistress Suite) & took out a bra I like. She was behind me & said "A-HEMMMM" I turned around & said "Not very often a boyfriend borrows his Gfs bra" She said that I could have it but we'd need to go out & get me my own bras. I am guessing that my full transition will be done Dec 15 or near my birthday early 16. I am lucky that Vikki didn't drop kick me to the curb when I told her about Bridget. She tells me that I should have told her sooner.                 
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