I'm a little over a year on T, my friends are good about using right pronouns and name, but my family not so much. My mom still will call me she and daughter and use my legal name, I kind of just let it go and accepted she's just not going to call me what I want her too, I mean she doesn't stop me from taking the hormones or stop the way I dress. Anyway we had to go to a wedding this weekend and it was for a family friend and the family friend is a lesbian, so my moms like she's not on hormones, how come you are, I'm like cause gender and sexuality are two different things mom (now I must have tried to explain this tons of times to her in the past), anyway I was like she identifies as female still but is just butch/manly, I identify as male, she's like but you don't have a penis though, I don't get it, now I understand it's hard for people to understand the trans thing especially older people (my mom is 60), but like when the penis thing gets brought into it, it pisses me off the most, like you have to have a penis with sperm to be considered a Man and I guess it's vice Versa for MTF, it just frustrates me and hurts in a way. Kind of just venting on here and see if anyone else feels like this sometimes

The idea that a real man has to be able to knock up every lady on the block irritates me too.  I have... mostly coem to terms with things but I do get a bit irritated.  I've only had a couple people ask me what kind of surgery I plan to get.  One being my mom, and seeing how I will be recovering with my parents, mooching off them and probably having them cart me around post op, it's not bad for her to ask... she would be the one helping me clean my wounds if I did have any kind of bottom surgery.  Some people just can't quite absorb the complexities of gender and sexuality, or it's too scary for them to think about.  They want life to be black and white, good or bad, birth assigned sex = mental gender.

The worst penis incident I can actually recall was reading a comment on a transman's youtube vid.  All it said was "youll nevr have a penis" or some other misspelled crap.

But the fact that some loser had to waste five seconds of their day to just... pick at someone in that way.  I posted a reply asking if they rubbed salt in puppies eyes and kicked children too, and then flagged it. 

So many cis guys are so protective of their junk, I rage that so many can't take just a second to imagine being in a transman's place for a day and have the tiniest bit of sympathy.  It's sick and immature.

I do hope your mom will come around, it's been a long year for you, but maybe not as much for her. Sometimes people will learn to see the reality and truth for what it is 

Thanks Aazhie, that made me feel better, don't feel alone with this

If a cis/biological male had some kind of accident that meant his penis was lost, or his balls amputated/castrated does that mean he isn't a man any more in the eyes of his family, the legal system, identity etc.? If a cis/biological male becomes medically impotent (actually not that rare a thing ) is he suddenly no longer a dude?

Absolutely not.

It might mean some people would mock him or his own self esteem suffers, but a cock and balls does not a man make. It's a big part of being a man, yeah, but by no means everything. And thankfully society doesn't demand everyone parade their genitals.

Like bio men and women who suffer biological issues with their reproductive system, it's just something we have to deal with for ourselves, and I know I have as much worth as I want to see in myself, and I couldn't give a ->-bleeped-<- about whether or not I can reproduce. As for the rest, I could care less what other people think of the matter. It's none of their business.

Quote from: Ryan55 on October 12, 2015, 04:12:51 PM
so my moms like she's not on hormones, how come you are

my mum said exactly the same thing when she saw a boyish girl the other day...   

I am sorry I can't make you feel better Ryan but I can relate to your case. My mom is close minded and she doesn't and will never refer me as her son. Nor does anyone else in my family and relatives for that matter.
She does a great job of ruining my mood even more by saying "You can have as many surgeries you want and you will never become male."  For example, the transman can be so masculine hairy, full facial hair and everything but because of the fact that they weren't born with a penis, she won't consider them male. 

I know that penis doesn't equal male but I can't get it out of my mind because the lack of it saddens me when I think about it.

It's best to not to be present at  family gatherings/ events because they will refer you by the wrong way and it will cause confusion and distress.  That's what I am doing even though I live with them.

Well its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
This is a letter from an accepting dad. So its from the view of a parent.
Parts of it might be shown.
Some parents have the same restraints, like he talks about: did they cause it by an upbringing...etc...
for other people it might be an insight into what transgender people feel.


hugs

Thanks for the replies guys, means a lot to me and makes me feel better about this stuff