Hello,

I'm 22 turning 23 this week and I'm finally deciding to reach out for help about feelings I've repressed for years. A few days ago I started looking at MTF time lines and stories and couldn't believe how similar everyone's stories are to mine. As a child I would fall asleep at nights wishing to be a girl the next morning, if there is a next life would a be a girl in it, and as I got older I would ocasionally dress in my sister's/girlfriend's clothes when the house was empty. I'm wondering if my feelings are the genuine me trying to escape and be free. I always repress those feeling but they always come back and lately stronger then ever maybe because I've been going through state of depression and it's definitely seeming like a light in a dark tunnel. Another reason I doubt myself is because I fear losing my family since they are really conservative. As for close friends, well, I don't really have any after moving all the way across the country getting dumped and living like a hermit. Yeah life's tough right now, so that's why I'm hoping the Internet could help me.

What kinds of next steps should I take to make sure I'm not just confused and that my feelings to be female are true? Also any other advice will be welcomed with open arms.

Thank you so much,
Corgi_patronus

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197787.msg1759197.html#msg1759197
and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197598.msg1757491.html#msg1757491

You might try some easy reversible steps...
like changes to hair and clothing style...

and you might look for a good gender therapist...
a supportive person to help you along...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1403363.html#msg1403363


*hugs*

Welcome to Susan's Place. My test is you tell the story and you are here. I know what you face is pretty scary so you need more proof. Therapy would be right up there but while you are waiting for an appointment, go over to youtube and request "the transition channel". You will be ask a series of questions and how you answer them will help determine what you are. This is something that is self diagnosed. No doctor can say for sure if you are a transsexual. That is why you need to learn as much or more than the doctor knows because you will make the decision and you will live with the results of that decision. I had doubts up to the moment of surgery but I have had many happy years as the result of my decision.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

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Here is a link to the channel Dena was referring to: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw

This playlist on the channel helped me noodle out quite a few things: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYwW2DO3Ojwm_8XRY4P7OGSzH0Cl5zoh2

Hope you find them helpful, and welcome to the forum, you've found a great community and resource.

K

What helped me turn my life around for the better was finding a local TG support group. Like you, on an intellectual level, I always knew I was trans. I also knew a lot about the subject. Yet all that meant absolutely nothing while sitting in a living room filled with people whose stories were much like my own.

A support group is likely easier to find then a gender therapist. Outside of a big metro area for real gender therapist are rare. There is a difference compared to a T friendly one.