Hey guys,

I figured maybe it'd help me if I just shared this with others. I don't really feel comfortable sharing it with cis friends at all.

I had a complete bottom dysphoria meltdown today (as many other days). I'm incredibly ashamed of my genitals and having them just makes me feel sick, anxious and angry. I am in therapy, but not for gender (yet).

if details trigger you then it might be better if you stop reading ...

I've got a packer and an STP but I'm not so much bothered about what isn't there. I'm bothered about what is there, spefically when fluids are involved. I'm sure every female-bodied individual deals with that at some point, not just during shark week.

It happens when I stand up, it happens when I'm on my bike, and then have to stop for a red light and I get off the bike seat for a second. It freaks me the ...! out. I've used cornstarch to make things drier but that doesn't help with "leakage".

Sorry about the rant. I'm feeling pretty frustrated. 

Thx for reading anyway, and if you've got any tips I'd be happy to hear them.

That part is my enemy for life and let me tell you, I feel exactly the same way. I really wish I could have that be closed for good hence why I sometimes even duct taped it out of my repulsed wrath. (I know it's bad) Even the times when I didn't have the cursed monthly disorder , it always freaked me out making me go to the bathroom to check if it was that or not as I didn't even know why it was even happening or what was the trigger...  It made me so mad and it still does when it happens.
I guess the one thing I noticed is from being a couple of months post op hysterectomy is that the leakage doesn't happen as much so the surgery was helpful in that regard as well.

I am sorry that I don't have any suggestions but I can give my empathy as I loathe that hole with all my might.

It may help to know bio guys also deal with leakage of a kind every time they go to a bathroom. They may shake it but gravity is still gonna cause stuff to keep coming out. Or wet dreams etc.

I just think of it that way. All of us experience leakages of some kind.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who hates the hole ^^
I mean I knew that, but it's good to have confirmation from people who go through the same.

Yeah I've thought about ways to "close it off" as well. I thought maybe cotton or something.
Probably not the healthiest thing in the world but better than freaking out.

I know guys get it, in fact the STP from stylish flesh is so well made that I even get it with that one But it's a different story, as it doesn't involve any kind of sensation of the "lower" area... thanks though

I feel ya. I had a lot of trouble with that.. But since starting t I haven't noticed leakage at all. Mine has basically stopped. Are you on T? If mine happens still I don't notice it..so I assume it doesn't. At least not to a degree I can feel.

Packing helps me a lot, thus the amount of prosthetics I've tested haha.

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I do have monthly dysphoria and from just having the wrong parts down there.  I am lucky I can't really say I have much of any leakage with any of the activities I do now, mustly weights and running.  I feel for you guys that can feel wetness down there, i as got the feeling back when I used pads, now only tampons which are so much better for me.

Be very careful if you decide to try "closing it off" with cotton or something. If you do that for too long you could get Toxic Shock Syndrome. Same reason leaving tampons in for too long is dangerous.