Hello everyone!

So my therapist wants me to start putting together a plan for my transition. Currently the plan is to start HRT in late February. My plan is to wait and see how quickly I take to the estrogen and how hair removal goes before deciding on when to go full time. Voice is a big concern for me as well and I have the money for VFS right now and I think I will end up with the surgery rather quickly. I'm interested in other's plans and how it ended up working out for them.

I'm not sure what to expect as far as timing but I'm also toying with the idea of going to grad school while transitioning as it seems like a campus would be a safe space for transitioning (especially in a social work program).

Thanks in advance everyone.

Transition can be really hard to plan in advance. Trying to plan might sound like a good idea, but what happens if something holds you up or delays you? That happened to me multiple times and it wasn't great. It really got me down and felt horrible not having things happen on the time frame I planned for with everyone including my employer.

It really will take just as long as needed, and anyone seriously transitioning will do so just as quick as they can regardless.

You know what all the major milestones are, and you know what's needed for each. Focus on the here and now, don't look too far ahead. If you want VFS, then work out what's stopping you from scheduling a date and work on that. And so it goes for everything else. Don't worry about the unknowns like how quickly HRT will work magic or figuring out next steps becomes too labored. And it is OK to be otherwise idle while you're working on thing like hair removal or voice work.

Taking on too much is a real issue and isn't going to help you. There are more than a few posts from people struggling with exactly this.

One step at a time. That's the advice I wish someone gave me.

Start your balls rolling (pun?) and then just go along for the ride. You've got a lot to do and you can't really plan the timing for some of it.  You can set appointments, but you have no idea how your demeanor will change on E. My sense of urgency fluctuates from week to week, lol.

Laser/electro, therapy, name change, clothes shopping, growing hair, manicure (at last once, it's pretty fun ), it's gonna take a while. So yeah, just take it one step at a time.  I started HRT 4 months ago and I have bumped up my full-time date twice now, because I feel ready. My closet, beard name and hair aren't ready yet, but I am, lol.

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I think a plan is a great idea.  No, you can't put exact dates on the steps of a transition, but you can establish priorities, sequence activities and procedures, establish rough time frames for achievements, and tie them into your overall finances.  A plan can be revised if it turns out not to be working out.  You should always have a good idea where you want to go and how to get there. Yup, I think a plan is a great idea.

Quote from: KatelynBG on October 22, 2015, 06:59:52 PM
Hello everyone!

So my therapist wants me to start putting together a plan for my transition. Currently the plan is to start HRT in late February. My plan is to wait and see how quickly I take to the estrogen and how hair removal goes before deciding on when to go full time. Voice is a big concern for me as well and I have the money for VFS right now and I think I will end up with the surgery rather quickly. I'm interested in other's plans and how it ended up working out for them.

I'm not sure what to expect as far as timing but I'm also toying with the idea of going to grad school while transitioning as it seems like a campus would be a safe space for transitioning (especially in a social work program).

Thanks in advance everyone.

I couldn't bear the idea of waiting to see what HRT would do. I wanted things more concrete, but if you're a patient sort, then great.

Have you tried working on your voice? I was able to obtain a really feminine voice without surgery, though some voices make that really hard.

There's a more or less logical step-by-step process to transitioning genders.  It doesn't make any sense to have major surgery before having been on hormones for at least a year.  Most surgeons would even allow it if they subscribe to the WPATH SOC.  I think it would be much harder to develop a feminine voice before going full-time simply because you have to retrain the muscles controlling your larynx which requires constant practice and daily use of your desired voice.  Beard removal after coming out full-time is much less practical than if you get rid of it while you are still presenting as a male because, at least in the beginning, when you are asked to grow out your beard for treatment, it will be difficult to hide in girl mode.  I know because I did it later and wish I'd known better. 

I did enough research to put together a rough time line and make priorities. I decided to start HRT and begin facial hair removal immediately. I decided that if this led to changes I could not hide before I was ready to be out, I would figure out how to deal with that when it happened. As it played out, circumstances allowed me to go full time earlier than I expected, so this was not an issue.

With regard to voice, that was/is a big issue for me, too. I have done some informal practice and feel fairly confident that I can learn to speak in a way that won't seem dissonant with my appearance, which is my goal. But in the end, I was not willing to wait in the closet while I learned to do that.

From everything I have read, I would strongly encourage you to give voice therapy/training a serious try before planning or scheduling surgery. The surgery changes your pitch, but you will need to learn the other aspects of sounding more conventionally "feminine" separately from that anyway. You may find that you do not need any surgical assistance to change your pitch, and you will not be wasting your time with the therapy in any event.

Hello everyone, SRS was first followed by HRT.  It was very difficult to wait 6 months due to surgeons genital electrolysis (this will slow you down) requirement.  Still got it done under 10 months.  Now my focus is on FFS and maybe a BA in 2016.  Surgeon wants me on HRT 24 months before doing BA.

Everyone's timeline is different, my goal was under a year.  The process can be expedited if you are suffering and push hard enough.  In my case it was extreme transsexualism. Only one cure for that....I am told.
Thank you,
Anne

I decided on a 5 year plan; I wanted to give HRT enough time to work, and I also realized that it would not be able to undo testosterone masculinization in my face, so I needed time to save for some initial FFS (type 3 forehead, scalp advancement, rhinoplasty with osteotomy, and a cheek lift (my surgeon included it with my other procedures at no additional cost). 

Quote from: kittenpower on October 23, 2015, 01:14:52 PM
I decided on a 5 year plan; I wanted to give HRT enough time to work, and I also realized that it would not be able to undo testosterone masculinization in my face, so I needed time to save for some initial FFS (type 3 forehead, scalp advancement, rhinoplasty with osteotomy, and a cheek lift (my surgeon included it with my other procedures at no additional cost).

I gave myself 12 months before I'd even think about presenting female.  I've been undergoing HRT for a little shy of 3 months and I'm already getting a rare stare here and there.  My cis female SO recently exclaimed, "OMG honey!  You look like a woman!" My response, "Nuh uh, stop teasing me."  Lol.

Everyone is different, but I would definitely give yourself at least 12 months of HRT just to feel things out and to see what type of changes it'll provide you with before doing or thinking about anything else.  This is a marathon, not a sprint, and idly thinking about every little thing isn't going to help you one bit; it freaked me out so bad I stopped HRT cold turkey after 6 weeks then went 85 days without nothing or no one. 

All up to you.  We got this.

Quote"Best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray"

- Robert Burns

While it is a good idea to have a transition plan in mind and try to do things in a logical order, life doesn't always allow for that. You will get thrown the occasional curveball and sometimes you just have to roll with it. When I began my transition I had a plan, but life had other ideas. I figured I would start HRT and keep it under wraps until changes started become visible, present female outside of work, then come out to my employer and work on a time frame to start presenting at the office. Less than two weeks after I wrote my plan down on a piece of paper, I was fired from my job. When I came home that day and undressed I said to myself "I'm never wearing that again" and threw my male clothing that I was wearing in the trash. Even though I wasn't plaining on it, I went full time that day and I never wore another piece of male clothing ever again.

Was my transition ideal? Not really, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Thank you all for helping me put things in perapective. Currently the plan is: tell my wife about my transition plans in February, go on HRT, begin laser on my face, and ramp up voice training shortly thereafter. I'm expecting this WI blow up my marriage but I think my wife would rather have an alive ex-wife than be a widow to a man that ended his life.

No plans for full time at this moment but loosely plan on 12 months of from start of HRT.

Hi Katelyn,

Essentially there is no timeline for transition. Once you start HT, your brain turns upside down and inside out at the same time. This then allows you to develop your intuitive senses to the point where you just"know" the time to do whatever resonates your inner core. I've been through the lot, yet still haven't have my ears pierced. But I know the time is coming very soon, and that will be the right time.

Your therapist has said that to gauge how serious you are. Focus on being the best person you can be and not what the world wants you to be.

Huggs
Catherine

One of things that I did right from the start is keep a log (journal, diary) of my transition.  It's been serving me well in several ways:  1) I have a historical record of when things happened along with my thoughts and feelings as I transitioned.  It's amazing how often I refer back to it for any number of reasons.  2) It forces me to think more clearly about what I'm doing and why.  That helps to resolve the inevitable doubts that pop up along the way.  3) It showed my therapist that I was serious about what I was doing, and earning credibility with her.  It many ways, just writing down my thoughts was therapeutic. 4) The written log along with photos shows very clearly how much progress I've been making.  It's easy to become discouraged at the slow pace of transition.  Reading earlier entries in the log recounting past fears, hopes, misconceptions, triumphs provide context to each new step going forward.  It really is amazing to see how much I've changed physically and emotionally over the past 2 years.  I should add that my wife insisted on me keeping a log as a condition for her giving me support and transition with me.  She's got access to the log and we often talk about our successes, the many issues that arise, and what to do when things go off course as they tend to do.  I know this is not for everyone, but it sure has been a big help for us.

A Plan, A goal, A TImeline, are all great things to have. We all need to have a end point to shoot for. Otherwise there is no end, and therefore, no beginning either.

And then there is reality:

The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men
          Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
          For promis'd joy!