By the title of this thread, I don't mean how you look in the mirror but rather how you feel when you think back to a time before now... back when it was only you who knew you were trans. Maybe like me you can remember back to before you even began school and that first donut with pink icing or slipping on your friend's ballet slippers when her back was turned?

Perhaps now, like me you beam with uncontrollable delight at how free and honest you are with the world? At how you have made such significant strides to better yourself, your understanding of the genders and to educate those who are dearest to you? For even those of us who have faced immeasurable hardships, we are all so much further along our paths of destiny than ever before and isn't that in itself an achievement to celebrate?!

I wonder if you all share that memory of a time when life was awful? Full of shame, self loathing, anxiety, stress, fear and depression? And I hope that you've all now filled your lives with hope, optimism, potential and love. Ah, it's so awesome being trans! <3

in the morning, for the past few week, I often sit & stare & myself & wonder "Why didn't I do this years ago?" I'll admit I'm no Jennifer Lawrence but then again I'm no Joey Lawrence. LOL. Maybe it's who I've been w/ (Vikki, friends, society) I haven't exactly been welcomed w/ open arms but I tell those, Oh well! I am happy w/ who I am & will be. As I was growing up, I used to hate myself for having a 'girly' face, butt, hips & thighs. I guess it just took time to find the real pieces & complete the picture. Hope many of you find your place, as either a girl or a guy. As the book is titled Strange New World.

I havent started HRT yet but, i have finaly accepted myself.

And im looking back now and honestly i can see minor joy moments when i could be myself.
But a lot depressing aswel :/, my father litteraly trying to beat the female part out of me over the years, never being able to be who i am with friends, being a social outcast al my life cause of it, and the job problems cause i could never fit in and be a productive member of the team.

but after acceptance and coming out to my friends * that i still had* and my mother i have been at ease, i am finaly loving life so to speak and waiting for the joyfull moment when i can finaly begin the journey physicaly.

just mild depressions cause of my looks ^^
and somebodyly functions dont work like they used to * is that normal girls??*