This is what I sent my sister mind you the mistyped words because I was (still am) in tears

Dad had no business talking to the Inlaws when half the ->-bleeped-<- that comes out of their mouth is bs.  He has no right telling me to stop being selfish and raise the kids first before I do what I'm doing.  The Inlaws fed him a bunch of crap.  It's never gonna work out with this issue.  1 step forward followed by a plummet in reverse.  It will never get better.  I'm getting a lot of backlash between families.  I was dabbing into the thought of actually staying here but I know now that I'm going to be viewed in all the wrong ways.  It's not healthy to keep my family or myself in these types of situations.  I know what all of us talking will result in and I'm not ready not will I ever be ready.  The way dad acts scares me.  If I have to separate myself to live authentic then I'm gonna do so call it what you will, quite frankly I don't care what ppl say or do behind my back anymore just don't say it to me because my day was ruined today emotionally and it may be a while before I'm healed.  I refuse to get attacked anymore about this.  ->-bleeped-<- living unhappy anymore and who ever don't agree can move out of my and let me become myself, work with my family on these issues  and stay the ->-bleeped-<- out of my way. 

Jamie out

sorry your in pain , families can be brutal

Jamie
I feel so bad for you, I know how it can hurt.  Please, please, please - take a step away from the negativity and pain.  Give yourself time to heal.  Don't answer phone text etc. until you are ready.  It DOES get better, sometimes people just splash their <mud> on our shoes.  Please don't let it in.  (((Hugs))) Holly

I get it. I've certainly been in a situation like that. Once my gossip mill started, I couldn't adequately explain myself to anyone. It was more than frustrating, it drove me to.... we'll we need not cover that. So, I understand.

I'm not sure that your message will do anything but enrage the recipient, however. Yes, you are angry, mad, pissed, and everything else. But if there are children involved, please wait until you can think through an appropriate message. Air it here if you like for comments and suggestions. Many have done so. Letters, messages, and even lists of things to cover. If you have kids, you don't want to run any risk of losing them forever.

Starting transition is THE most difficult I have ever done. I know it is for most of us. I'm trying to suggest that you do your best not to burn any bridges. You never know when you'll need one.

... here's the tissue box.

Cindi

Sorry you are going through this with your family.

I do not know when you told them you are trans but sometimes it takes a while for the information to sink in.

So sorry they are putting you through all of that. if You told them recently it can take awhile for this to settle in. I know for part of my family is only really now starting to get relaxed and comfortable with my transition and I have been aware of this go around at transition since May of 2014. I wouldn't let them get to you because after all it is your life and not theirs' It's true that this maybe hard on them, but they forget how hard this is on us in the first place. Stay strong and hang in there. Hugs
Mariah

The thing is, I had no intentions of speaking to my family.  I got a rude phone call before i left my house today saying im selfish and that noone is going to accept like you think and may not ever.  Then I get a slew of txts saying i should wait and the kids are going to need help.  The kids seen me since birth dress and present (they dont know any better)  I told him around june time frame. That txt wasnt to my dad i sent that to my sister because she is better at getting through to him than I am.  Im just soooo ruined.  Usually I can brush my dads negativity off easy but this hit me to hard. I never thought I would ever block my dad.

I'm in a likewise unsupportive place with my father and sister. It's sad. How will we ever get full acceptance in society when we can't even get it from our families?

FWIW, maybe this will help you stay the course.  My dad was the son of an Southern preacher, and my dad was very, very manipulative, and very much the get in your private business creepo stalker kind of guy.

I ended up living the life he wanted:  two marriages, two stepkids and a kid from the first one, being a lawyer (definitely would not have been my career choice) house in the suburbs, the American dream.  His American dream, that is.

I started having anxiety and panic attacks and high blood pressure nine years ago, and ended up on beta blockers and tranquilizers.

Dad was silenced forever by a stroke six years ago.  He is alive and somewhat cognizant, but partially paralyzed, tubed up, bedridden and in a facility.

It took me five years since then to get Dad's voice out of the back of my head, and figure out that my whole life I had been fighting a war with him for my heart and soul.  And even when I thought I had won, by moving out of his house for the last time and "living my own life" I had still lost.  I still was not living my life.  He was living it for me by remote control.

It took me five years to figure out that other than a few secret instances here and there, I had never really been myself.  I had created this guy, this artificial construct, and lived within it, and reached the point where the stress of remaining in character all the time was slowly killing me.  After dad had the stroke I ran on inertia for five years, like a windup toy running down.

The magic moment came when I figured out, almost by accident, that dressing female lowered my blood pressure.

Dad never knew I was trans.  He may have suspected, given his unnatural interest in my love life.  I endured constant interrogations about what girls I was interested in since I was 14.  I did not have my first real girlfriend until 21 and frankly it was a relief because it got Dad off my back temporarily.  After her, even if I wanted to cruise along and not date anyone and focus on school or work, he was constantly on my back about finding the next one.

And any time I got interested in anything he did not approve of (like muscle cars) his favorite weapon was the negative opinions of other people, just about all of whom existed only in his imagination.

So, FWIW, do not feel bad about keeping your father out of your life when you need to.  And do not be afraid to put limits on the relationship if you do decide to communicate with him.

Dear G-J:

Families . . . I feel your pain.  You've gotten a lot of examples of them in response to a loved one being trans.  I wish it was different for so many of us but that isn't the current way it often works out.  Briefly, my family and I have gone our separate ways after 30+ years of marriage, college, weddings, etc.  I do wish it was different and always will, but that can only happen when there's a willingness to let love triumph over fear.

Sooo, know that life can and will be good . . . you can still love those that can't embrace you (or worse).  In fact, aside from taking good care of yourself you'll be amazed how loving you can be and still ensure that those who won't accept you never have the opportunity to bring you pain again.

Please take care, be of hopeful cheer, and find ways to care for yourself while remaining loving. 

Rachel

BTW: Lovely picture