I'm just wondering what some good steps to take might be.

In the bad old days they used to tell us to move to somewhere where we weren't known and build a new life there, but apart from that I haven't got anything.

When you go to court to change your name, petition the court to seal the record.   Talk to a lawyer in your jurisdiction about how to do that.

Aside from that,

1.  Move to somewhere where no one knows you.

2.  Make absolutely sure there is no connection whatsoever between your internet presence under your old name, and your new name.

3.  If someone wants to find you badly enough, they will find you.  You cannot change your social security number unless you are a documented victim of identity theft.

4.  If you have existing credit or bank accounts under your old name, pay them off and close them.  Then set up new accounts under your new name.

5.  Job history/resume is the big problem.  If you have a long gap in your resume, or your job history starts when you assumed your new identity, a lot of employers are going to start wondering if you just finished serving a long prison sentence.

Coming from the banking world, the social will be an issue. Every potential lender will run a credit check and the report lists all aliases. For example, my brother's name is Brian and he once got a credit card offer addressed to "Brain" and now his credit report lists Brain as an alias. Most banks also use a system called Chexsystems to verify new account openers. The system may also trigger aliases. It would take pretty observant banker to catch either and neither scenario by itself should cause an issue but there's potential exposure there. The good news is that bank privacy laws makes it highly illegal for a banker to disclose something like that to the public without your permission, so there is a protective backstop there for you.

I do know of 1 major east coast bank that does not use Chexsystems to verify new accounts. PM me if you are interested.

Quote from: KatelynBG on October 23, 2015, 05:46:50 AM
Coming from the banking world, the social will be an issue. Every potential lender will run a credit check and the report lists all aliases. For example, my brother's name is Brian and he once got a credit card offer addressed to "Brain" and now his credit report lists Brain as an alias. Most banks also use a system called Chexsystems to verify new account openers. The system may also trigger aliases. It would take pretty observant banker to catch either and neither scenario by itself should cause an issue but there's potential exposure there. The good news is that bank privacy laws makes it highly illegal for a banker to disclose something like that to the public without your permission, so there is a protective backstop there for you.

I do know of 1 major east coast bank that does not use Chexsystems to verify new accounts. PM me if you are interested.

I'm pretty much just meaning social.

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Got it. You shouldn't have any issues from what I said then. Good luck.

Fortunately my friends are open minded, supportive and accepting people so I haven't felt a need to erase my past social identity/ies. I've had some friends for so long a number of them even remember the first time I tried to transition.  In terms of my work life, while I don't consider myself stealth I likewise haven't made it common knowledge that I am trans. If I talk about my past I don't lie but I also use non gender specific language (like I don't say I went to an all boys school, for example!).

Name changes are part of the public record. Just to get there the petition needs to be announced in a "paper of record". These days good luck hiding that bit. SS I've heard conflicting info on. What info that is available and what info that is "really" available seems to be two different things.

Then there is work, school and other history. You've known people and have a history. If you're young with no work history at all, then after a name change, going to all your schools and hopefully getting them to change the paper trail and ... as previously said, moving FAR out of town/state, you may be in good shape.

Unless of course you try to get a job where they do a basic "criminal background check". Part of which entails filling out a form with all previously used names and aliases. Government/national security clearances are even more invasive. Lying on the paperwork is immediate cause for dismissal, at best. (I think lying on any federal doc is up to 5 years in jail)

I never really saw the need to burn the past.

Put it aside and bury it, yes, but I'm not going to go crazy.

If people know, they know. The first impression they'll get of me is a woman anyway, and I carry myself as one.

I swear that half of my facebook friends do not know that I am trans. The other half do, and a large number of them are from here. I know a lot of them IRL and a lot of my friends I know IRL that I've met recently do not know.

Only a small portion of people at work know.

People even say homophobic and transphobic things to me about other people like Caitlyn Jenner... I simply just brush it off but I don't get into an argument because I realize that it would be pointless and I would quickly become the subject of it. So I pick my battles.

Also keep in mind that a background check of any kind will usually require you to out yourself to someone. At least that has been my experience within the first year of name-changing. It might ease up a bit after you're you for a few years.

My background check to buy a new gun got moved to pending status (they put you on pending if something on the application doesn't match up with who the computer thinks you are) and I had to wait an extra hour for them to sort through it, even after providing my old name and a copy of the court order. Before, I was in and out in 30 minutes or less.

Quote from: KatelynBG on October 23, 2015, 05:46:50 AM
Coming from the banking world, the social will be an issue. Every potential lender will run a credit check and the report lists all aliases. For example, my brother's name is Brian and he once got a credit card offer addressed to "Brain" and now his credit report lists Brain as an alias. Most banks also use a system called Chexsystems to verify new account openers. The system may also trigger aliases. It would take pretty observant banker to catch either and neither scenario by itself should cause an issue but there's potential exposure there. The good news is that bank privacy laws makes it highly illegal for a banker to disclose something like that to the public without your permission, so there is a protective backstop there for you.

I do know of 1 major east coast bank that does not use Chexsystems to verify new accounts. PM me if you are interested.

You might get around this by closing all your accounts and starting anew rather than changing the name on the accounts. Even though it is supposed to be strictly by SSN, when I changed my name, I ended up with 2 separate credit reports (with the same SSN, but a different name). Transunion merged the reports (a few months later) after my existing creditors started reporting my new name.

BTW, it appears that information does disappear after a while, because I used to have a couple incorrect addresses and an incorrect spelling of my old name on my credit report and those eventually disappeared without me ever doing anything. I wonder if her old name will eventually disappear also.

Quote from: FTMax on October 26, 2015, 02:37:43 PM
Also keep in mind that a background check of any kind will usually require you to out yourself to someone. At least that has been my experience within the first year of name-changing. It might ease up a bit after you're you for a few years.

That depends on the check. I'm pretty sure I have been asked about aliases going back years for employment related background checks before.

QuoteMy background check to buy a new gun got moved to pending status (they put you on pending if something on the application doesn't match up with who the computer thinks you are) and I had to wait an extra hour for them to sort through it, even after providing my old name and a copy of the court order. Before, I was in and out in 30 minutes or less.

I haven't had any issues with NICS. I've been through 2 NICS checks at least since my name change and they were both normal. I haven't been able to change my legal gender yet, so I wonder if that might create an issue once I do.

Quote from: JoanneB on October 25, 2015, 08:21:59 PMJust to get there the petition needs to be announced in a "paper of record".

Some states don't require you to put an AD in the paper. That said, the petition is public record at least here in Florida. There is a form I had to fill out to seal the portions containing protected information like SSN so that they would not be released to any wingnut who can fill out a FOIA/Sunshine form.

I'm looking forward to changing my name in the future, which is a right for transgenders granted under the law in the Netherlands. However, I would also like to change my last name because my new one wouldn't mix well with my current last name. I'm really not sure how hard or easy it is to do so, but I guess I'll find out.