Its been about 3 months since I told my mom I'm transgender, and school started around the same time.

I've been struggling through school this year with no support from anyone. My mom and sister haven't asked me about it since that day. My mom is just ignoring it?

A little while ago she said
"Whatever you're going through is getting you caught up in school and needs to stop".

Like i feel like I'm having a real nightmare, feels like i never told her!! I would like to sit her down and tell her what I'm feeling, I'm a shy person when it comes to stuff about me and my body. I'm getting on the edge of my story, I've never  had self happiness, never want to take pictures with my family, never want to go to public places with them. I'm just so done with it all and can't take much of it anymore. I just wish i could tell her that or have someone, just someone to talk to when I'm down. I have no true friends sadly, just the ones my parents think I'm friends with.

Don't forget my father is homophobic, transphobic, and a bunch of other messed up point of views. That's why I'm terrified to start my life and have happiness for once.

(Don't want to sound like I'm crying for help, I just need a way to come out or do something to start transitioning. I guess advice lol.) I'm 15

Love Emily

Hey Emily!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

The fact that you haven't mentioned it again will give your mother cause to hope that "you aren't serious about it" and/or that "it was just a passing thing that you are over now". This seems to be a common attitude for a lot of parents of under-18s. So it sounds like you need to have the chat again. Or maybe tell her you need to speak to a therapist about anxiety/depression/other stuff.

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Cheers

Grace

Dear Emily:

You did a brave thing just posting here, and I suggest you might want to use this site as a safety valve that permits to say what may not be possible to say anywhere else at this time.

You may also want to have another talk with with your mom; you're the best judge of that (It would enforce this isn't a passing fancy thing).  In addition, there maybe other resources maybe available to you at school or in your community if you feel you need to reach outside your family.  If your school or community has a support group, you may want to seek them out and see if something like that would work for you.

In the mean time, please know that there many here who get you and may have very similar situations.  So, stay in touch and know that in time you will be able to become who you are to the world.

Take care,

Rachel

You need to explain to your mother about dysphoria.

That's the crushing unhappiness that trans people get when they try to live as their gender assigned at birth.

She needs to understand that it's very serious - severe depression and anxiety result and a lot of sufferers are driven to try suicide. She also needs to know that you can't make it "stop". No one has come up with a way to take a trans person and make them no longer trans. This isn't something you chose. If all else fails, try "Mom! I need help NOW!" If she denies or ignores it, keep saying it.

Emily
Listen to your big sisters here...   Sit down with your Mother and tell her you need her help here, enlist your sister too.  You really need to speak to a professional, dear.  Therapy is a great first step to sort out all the noise.  Please enlist allies, NO ONE can do it alone!  Good luck! -Holly   

Try painting your fingernails.  That's a pretty benign activity in reality, some guys do it too.  Maybe only the effeminate or punk or goth boys, but still, lol.  Maybe it'll help spark a conversation with your mom.  Or if you can't get polish on your own, next time you're at the store with her go pick up a bottle and put it on the counter with everything else at checkout.  She won't make a scene in the store.  It's small, but it should be effective at both getting her attention and helping with the dysphoria early on. 

Good luck!