It's never been difficult to accept myself with the trans thing. It's more difficult to accept other, conscious mistakes I've made in life, or a few ->-bleeped-<--y things I might have done in the past. To me being trans is something you have no control over if it's indeed true, so there is absolutely no point in beating yourself up over it.
But also, I have the view of not caring too much about being normal and fitting a standard narrative. Maybe it is easier for someone like that, than someone who desperately wants to be normal and fit in. I don't know, because I've never been normal, and never fitted in.
Still, one of the main revelations in my life came about because I've lived long enough to realize something. Before this realization I thought that everyone was basically better than me, and that I was probably the Devil's child. I realized that other people are really not so much better by default than I am, especially when I saw how hard I was trying to better myself and be a good person, and many of these people I knew were not trying at all. So many were just lazy, horrible individuals with no care for anyone but themselves. I was trying to be a good person, to make up for my mistakes, and I was trying to be kind to people who needed it... despite my afflictions like depression, anxiety, dysphoria and a constant sense of not being a real person. When I saw how much harder I was trying, and how little many other people around me seemed to try, that realization came. Nobody is automatically better, or wiser, or more awesome than you are. Especially if you don't lie to yourself and just try to make up for your mistakes. If you do that, who can really say you aren't as decent - if not more - than anybody else? Even if you're trans? Hell, if you're still trying and you're having to deal with being trans as well that probably makes you stronger and wiser and more optimistic than most. What's shameful about that?
