I am not cisgender male. But I want a list of priviledges I am getting because I do not know if I am ready to be transgender fully... today my grandma found a little cheap wig in my coat jacket packet. She said, "what is this?!". I had a mini panic attack, and just said its a halloween gag. Took it away and eventually threw it away today. Yes, my grandma just loves to fold my clothing when I tell her not too. My fault for not being careful enough.... she didnt mention it again.

No, I honestly think shes seeing life through rose coloured glasses, and in her old age she didnt connect the dots because she just saw a big clump of hair. And I kind of just change the whole situation by bringing up my awards from my job.

But its like... I cant do this to her, its too much for my family to handle.

And I dont know... its the same ->-bleeped-<- on repeat.  My family wants to visit me, they say they love me (which they do), but every mention of gay or trans topics gets mock upon. And Im sick.

And I hit rock bottom with my deposable cash... still have my savings but blew all my cash. My vacation is beginning to stink.

If you're a MTF - transwoman and it's truly you, you would probably not be cisgender. But you can live as opposite gender, because your born difference. But you have a lot of advantages as a guy.

Here is the list.
1. In many country the society is a male dominant one. That means you get more respect and it's easier for you to do many things. Example in the politic, holidays in other countries etc.
2. You can pee standing and the toilet visit is much faster. If your empty for toilet paper after peeing, it's not a so big deal.
3. You can't get pregnant after having sex
4. Clothes and hair is much easier. People doesn't bother so much if you goes for a lazy day.
5. No periods
6. If you doesn't shave your pubic hair, people doesn't care so much, but a woman would be seen as disgusting then
8. Many people treat you with much respect and treat you more friendly - like a buddy - especially in the US
9. You can get orgasm much faster and easier with a penis
10. You get more paid for working
11. It's more women than men who experience being raped
12. Lesser sexual harassment
13. You can go shirtless at the beach
14. Men is seen as the strongest and most powerful sex and gender
15. Men can spread their legs
16. In the work, you would be taken more seriously
17. It's easier to get a boss job or another top job
18. If you have a bad mood, nobody guess it's the period or your sex
19. If you choice not having children, lesser people would judge you
20. You would experience lesser sexism
21. Shorter morning routines
22. If you can't find a toilet while you're on a driving trip, you can go back a bush and pee.
23. You can use dirty jokes and people would find it funny. But women would be seen as disgusting if they use dirty jokes.

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on October 23, 2015, 06:15:55 AM
If you're a MTF - transwoman and it's truly you, you would probably not be cisgender. But you can live as opposite gender, because your born difference. But you have a lot of advantages as a guy.

Here is the list.
1. In many country the society is a male dominant one. That means you get more respect and it's easier for you to do many things. Example in the politic, holidays in other countries etc.
2. You can pee standing and the toilet visit is much faster. If your empty for toilet paper after peeing, it's not a so big deal.
3. You can't get pregnant after having sex
4. Clothes and hair is much easier. People doesn't bother so much if you goes for a lazy day.
5. No periods
6. If you doesn't shave your pubic hair, people doesn't care so much, but a woman would be seen as disgusting then
8. Many people treat you with much respect and treat you more friendly - like a buddy - especially in the US
9. You can get orgasm much faster and easier with a penis
10. You get more paid for working
11. It's more women than men who experience being raped
12. Lesser sexual harassment
13. You can go shirtless at the beach
14. Men is seen as the strongest and most powerful sex and gender
15. Men can spread their legs
16. In the work, you would be taken more seriously
17. It's easier to get a boss job or another top job
18. If you have a bad mood, nobody guess it's the period or your sex
19. If you choice not having children, lesser people would judge you
20. You would experience lesser sexism
21. Shorter morning routines
22. If you can't find a toilet while you're on a driving trip, you can go back a bush and pee.
23. You can use dirty jokes and people would find it funny. But women would be seen as disgusting if they use dirty jokes.

Not all of these are true or even how they are made out to be. At least they haven't been my experience.

3. You will likely be on the hook for child support. Not only that, courts tend to be sympathetic toward the mother more than the father often granting her better terms of custody. Also, only she can choose to abort the child if one of you doesn't want it. So if she wants to keep the child you're stuck. If she doesn't want the child but you do, she can abort it anyway.

8. I've found that people tend to be friendlier to me and find me more approachable as a woman than as a guy. Only certain types of guys tend to be treated friendly like. On the other hand, people are extremely nice to me as a woman.

9. Yeah but the orgasm isn't as intense and full body in someone with a male brain. Plus if you're solo you have to clean up afterwards. I honestly never could figure out WHY guys like sex so much. It really doesn't feel pleasurable and to me it seemed as though the women have all the fun and get more pleasure out of it. A man would stimulate a woman's breasts, clitoris and a lot of other places. Men on the other hand seem to only want oral sex on their penis and then penetration, one and done. I don't really get it at all. It seems like a total chore and boring and over in 5 minutes?

10. Not universally true at all. There are many complicated factors in this.

15. Man spreading is a disgusting habit that is being cracked down upon. Men do it but it's not like people like them doing it. It's not really socially acceptable.

22. Yes and no. I know one guy who is a registered sex offender because the cops caught him peeing by the side of the road.

23. I would say that depends. Among your friends I've heard men and women tell dirty jokes. It's just different variety of jokes.  But men do it anyway but it tends to be frowned upon.


Here are some things that are disadvantageous for men:

Men are automatically assumed to be sexual predators, especially around children.

Men are automatically assumed to be a violent threat, especially against women.

Jobs in K-12 education and child care skew toward women.

Men are more likely to die on the job because they are often in riskier jobs.

Men pay more for auto insurance generally.

Men are more likely to be given tough love, or treated roughly, yelled at etc.

Women who flirt with police officers or show a little skin are more likely to get out of a ticket. Men can't do that, usually...

Speaking of criminal justice, female murderers are less likely to be put to death.

Women and children usually are evacuated first when there is danger. However that seems to be changing a bit.

Women can hit men without repercussions many times. Man hit woman? Violence against women. (No violence is ever right and men and women should not hit each other).

Women's only organizations are viewed as empowerment. Men's only organizations are viewed as sexism and promoting the patriarchy. That said, as a guy I joined SWE in college and they had no problems with me as a member. But that is the exception rather than the rule.

In some countries, same sex relations are allowed for women but not men. Jamaica is one such country. In fact there is much less of a social stigma of being a lesbian there than there is of being a gay man (which actually can get you killed).

Men can be drafted into the military.


So there really is no "better" gender. Each has its trade offs.

iKate, I could kiss you so much for your post. Everything you say in your post is absolutely spot on and it offers another completely valid perspective. If I were ever to go full time, there are certain double-standards which screw guys over I'd sure as crap not miss. I know that women universally get the short end of the stick, but I find it problematic to assume that privilege applies to every guy in every situation. It goes to show that sexism is absolutely NOT a one-way street.

5 minute sex? Heck it takes me and my wife 20 minutes of foreplay too just get both of us started,and 25 minutes of sex to finish,sometimes longer ,never was a wham bam ty ma'am type of person. 5 min sex sheesh,lol.

Quote from: cheryl reeves on October 23, 2015, 11:28:58 AM
5 minute sex? Heck it takes me and my wife 20 minutes of foreplay too just get both of us started,and 25 minutes of sex to finish,sometimes longer ,never was a wham bam ty ma'am type of person. 5 min sex sheesh,lol.

LOL!

I like going down on my partners. Foreplay and oral are pretty important for me.

It's hard to ask people like us the advantages of being male since that's what a lot of us are trying to get away from. But the things that have changed so far that could be a disadvantage to someone wanting to stay in a man's body:

-Decrease in muscle strength. A man generally has no problems lifting heavy loads

-Increase in chest size (my favorite change: Boobs  ), so by society's standards I can't go topless in public. Men generally are allowed to go topless at swimming pools or the beach.

-A change in sex drive. I myself find it's harder to stay turned on for my wife if i'm not comfortable or not in the mood. A man generally can stay up with no issues. (This one varies per person)

- A harder time losing weight. Men generally have an easier time keeping the pounds off with little effort.

-Social connections. There is a major difference in how men and women socialize with each other.

-Relationship strain. With transition, comes relationship strains that would otherwise be non-existent if remaining as a cisgender person.

-Increase in amount of time spent shaving. Men can get lazy and not shave their legs, face, armpits if they wanted with no social repercussions. Of course women can as well but mostly in the winter

-Joblessness. There is an issue with under employment for full time transwomen in my area.

There's not much more at all. Men and women, cisgender or trans, are capable of most of the same things in life but sometimes by different means. Everything above is relevant to me. I don't miss anything or any "privileges" that i'm losing. If anything, I'm gaining peace, happiness, and most important of all my body. It's a lot of work and can be mentally painful but what good is it to continue to make everyone else happy but let yourself wither away for their sake? That's the question I had to face when I began all of this. We cannot fully please everyone, and we need to focus on pushing ourselves to live authentically. This very subject of being co-dependant or selflessness was a huge topic for me in therapy. This is the one area that I had the most trouble getting past to allow me to be myself. Eventually I got past it because I realized that I was lying to everyone about who I was or how I felt to keep the status quo of family life. You can be authentic and also let your grandmother know or not know. You don't have to go pedal to the metal on transition but you can take it slow and easy if you don't want to shock your family. Every situation merits its own response.

Ignore my rant. I was just facing an ugly situation.... and Im tired of my family insisting on dating girls... its like why? Im sick of this mess.

My mother places pedophiles nearly on the same level of "worst things to be" as a transgender person. My sister seems more "straight" snob than ever, as if being Bruce Jenner or gay is a horrible thing. 

Im doing this stupid vacation for this family just to make them happy..... yeah. Im not teling them how I feel or what I am... and my mother dragging me out to the clubs.... last thing on my mind.

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on October 23, 2015, 06:15:55 AM
[.
23. You can use dirty jokes and people would find it funny. But women would be seen as disgusting if they use dirty jokes.

in my experience women are just as nasty, if not more so than men, when it comes to dirty jokes.  It's just that they usually keep it to themselves in mixed company.

Men too, except for the caddish ones, do not say those things in mixed company.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My wife used to say "You have to be crazy to WANT to be a woman. Especially a 50 year old one"  This was followed by a very L-O-N-G list of reasons/observations of women being second class citizens and after 25 the bloom is long gone from the rose.

The cold hard truth is she is right. OK... perhaps not the crazy part. Women are second class citizens and there is such a thing as "Male Privileged" that every transitioned member of my support group will attest to.

Given the opportunity to choose between a life as either:
A) A happy joy filled life as a woman or
B) A sad miserable soulless lifeless chronically depressed life as a male

Which sounds better?

Even worse you want to be a TRANS woman?

You have all the disadvantages of womanhood - discrimination, harassment, loss of physical strength, not being taken seriously.

Then you have people who view you as a man, so they force you into men's restrooms, locker rooms and prisons. Except that you can get raped in prison, assaulted in the restrooms and locker rooms. What's scary is that people want to make this the law of the land too!

Not to beat a dead horse with this but my former BIL got a ticket for this, peeing outside a bar and he got a ticket for public urination. It's not a sex offense unless there is sexual intent.  There has to be an element where the man(or woman) is intending to get some sort of sexual pleasure out of it. Most public urination is just that, peeing where you are not supposed too and my BIL was able to get this embarrassing charge dropped luckily.



22. Yes and no. I know one guy who is a registered sex offender because the cops caught him peeing by the side of the road.

Quote from: iKate on October 23, 2015, 07:55:38 AM
Men are automatically assumed to be sexual predators, especially around children.

Men are automatically assumed to be a violent threat, especially against women.

Jobs in K-12 education and child care skew toward women.

Men are more likely to die on the job because they are often in riskier jobs.

Men pay more for auto insurance generally.

Men are more likely to be given tough love, or treated roughly, yelled at etc.

Women who flirt with police officers or show a little skin are more likely to get out of a ticket. Men can't do that, usually...

Speaking of criminal justice, female murderers are less likely to be put to death.

Women and children usually are evacuated first when there is danger. However that seems to be changing a bit.

Women can hit men without repercussions many times. Man hit woman? Violence against women. (No violence is ever right and men and women should not hit each other).

Women's only organizations are viewed as empowerment. Men's only organizations are viewed as sexism and promoting the patriarchy. That said, as a guy I joined SWE in college and they had no problems with me as a member. But that is the exception rather than the rule.

In some countries, same sex relations are allowed for women but not men. Jamaica is one such country. In fact there is much less of a social stigma of being a lesbian there than there is of being a gay man (which actually can get you killed).

Men can be drafted into the military.

It's interesting to observe, however, that many of these are blowback from anti-female sexism, actually. For example, being able to serve in the military at all (drafted or not) was not really a disadvantage of any sort for a long time - only today is this mentality beginning to change, and in view of these new, changed attitudes, the male-only draft (where it exists, thankfully here it doesn't) suddenly seems like an anti-male thing - when it clearly isn't. As far as I'm concerned, it's the draft, not its gender composition, that is the problem.

Most of the 23-point list you quoted is a result of anti-female sexism (where "sexism" means "systemic discrimination", not "people are being jerks to each other"). Surely you wouldn't consider "only women are allowed to be gay" a result of anti-male sexism, given that it stems from a reactionary view of homosexuality by itself? Are women supposed to appreciate the fact that they can get out of a police ticket by letting some pervy officer stare down their boobs?

QuoteWomen's only organizations are viewed as empowerment. Men's only organizations are viewed as sexism and promoting the patriarchy.

That's because that's actually the case most of the time... Have you ever observed the language used on the MGTOW forum, for example? A Voice for Men isn't exactly rosy either.

Contrary to popular myth, feminists do want to address issues like men being disadvantaged in divorce cases - in that particular case, because they want to dismantle the "mother = homemaker & caregiver" stereotype that leads to said disadvantage to begin with. It's a shame so many do not seem to realize this - I've seen trans people on this forum apologize profusely for patriarchal society, though probably without realizing it (it'd be pretty stupid to knowingly do so). Ah well, their loss. Gender politics are a complete nightmare and I admire people who have the patience to keep going with it.

After starting FT, I do notice needing more voice and attention seeking to be listened to by guys regarding business stuff. It is an amazing change... attention I took before for granted is just gone. I suppose the good side is I 'pass enough'.

With women it got, wow, much better and easier to communicate.

Privately too, I noted before that finally I can have talk with a cis woman without her thinking that I am flirting. Stuff I have been missing for too long.