Granted, but before carrying you to your destination, the tornado takes a detour and carries you and your apt. to Oz, where you meet good witch Glenda, become romantically involved, and then leave her for the wicked witch of the west, because she is too femme, and then after a few months of putting up with that royal bitch, you find your way back to the tornado, and are then whisked away with your apt. to your lovely beach front destination, but your apt. is demolished inside the tornado, and you are forced to live in a make-shift shelter, and earn your living as a juggling, rollerblading street performer.

I wish I was time traveler.

Granted. Now you are a copy of the classic H.G Wells book,The Time Traveler.
I wish I knew everything.

Granted but you quickly go mad.

I wish I was a dragon.

Granted.  Sadly you developed a nasty cold on a windy day. You coughed and sneezed at he same time into a raging head wind. You were subsequently self incinerated. Oh! And the ashes were blown away in he next wind. So there's absolutely nothing left, only the good things you've done here in the family.


I wish I cold go to bed early for a change. 

Granted, but on the one day you can, a serial bed killer breaks into your apartment, shreds your bed with a chainsaw, and is found eating the remains of it when you walk in.

I wish I had a pen with spell-check.

Quote from: SilverWing on October 28, 2015, 11:30:34 AM
Granted, but on the one day you can, a serial bed killer breaks into your apartment, shreds your bed with a chainsaw, and is found eating the remains of it when you walk in.

I wish I had a pen with spell-check.

Granted, but now it is stuck on autocorrect and never ends up with the right words
I wish I owned all the cats in the world

Granted but the smell drives your house property value several feet below ground.

I wish I didn't have anxiety.

Granted. You become one of the Agents from the Matrix.

I wish I could interface with technology with my mind.

Granted, now KyleEdric is after you.

I wish that from this point on the wishes on this thread are not corrupted.
(Yes, that was mean. I want to see how clever you all are.)

Granted, the wishes are no longer corrupted, but rather they are even more corrupt than before

I wish the construction crew across the street were building a new grocery store rather than another apt. building that will be packed like lemmings full of uni students

Granted, but I would stay out of the meat department if I were you! Goodness, what's become of the uni students?

I wish I had figured myself out at a younger age.

Granted, you figure yourself out at an early age but no-one else understands and you become a reclusive junkie strung out on medium cheddar cheese and Ritz crackers where upon your box of Triscuits become jealous and accuse you of being unfaithful

I wish I could open my own CAFÉ

Granted, but everyone who eats there thinks your food tastes like rocks with a frosting of sand.

I wish I had faster internet.

Granted, but you have to use windows 95.

I wish I would never have a headache again

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Granted. The nerves in your head, including the ones connecting your brain and the rest of your body, stop functioning.  Now you will never have a headache again......at the cost of being completely paralysed.

I wish my houseplants were healthier.

Granted, your house plants take over your home and you awake to find yourself strapped to your bed by vines just about the time your alarm clock that you can't reach starts to ring and you realize that you need to pee really badly and then get a drink of water before getting ready for the day

I wish I didn't feel so stressed out and could normalize my sleep habits

Granted. You normalised your sleeping habits so well, you now sleep 24/7/365 (366 in a leap year) This has had an amazing effect on your stress levels, which too, have gone to sleep. You now miss the rest of your life, BUT you wake (eventually) refreshed.

I wish everyone in the world won the lottery (all together)

Granted but we all win a grand total of 00.00000000000003 cents.

I wish I didn't get emotionally drained when listening to political arguments.

Granted, now when you listen to political arguments you just get bored and annoyed and make satirical jokes about the various candidates

I wish I could slip into a coma

Granted, but you wake up to a 28 Days Later situation, and you're totally unprepared.

I wish girls that were mean and manipulative were no longer mean and manipulative.