.......... the hospital staff clock your sister-in-law as your Mother; looking after her daughter.

I'm yet to stop 

(And she has NEVER forgiven me. She's a month older than me  )

This isn't really passing but where I work I have to stop at an access point in my car and show an ID that gets scanned and compared to my face.  This morning I got called  ma'am wearing a tie and button down collar LOL.    Maybe it helped that the shirt was red.


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I was out getting lunch with my wife at subway.  Day old scruff, no makeup, grungy ball cap with my hair up and ponytail out the back and wearing a hoodie.....

When we paid and were leaving the cashier said "Have a nice day ladies!"

Yay!   

I think you know you pass when women in public smile at you! Women smile at each other a LOT! It's the equivalent of the "head nod" some guys give each other in public.

Pre-transition, women never smiled at me (obviously), but now it seems to happen every single day.

Also getting called "darling," "sweetie," "sweetheart" by older men (like men 50+). I just can't imagine men using those terms on someone they thought was male, or someone who they knew was transsexual, unless they are really open-minded. And also "hun" by older women. Although I would get called hun by older women pre-transition, it happens at a more common rate now, probably because women are addressed with endearing words more so than men are in general.

I've been pushing the boundaries recently.  Sitting with two homophobic and probably transphobic Baptist Ladies after a church service and talking about LGBT issues.  Even with the clue that I'm pro-LGBT they can't have read me or I would have been the target of their ire.

Quote from: MaryXYX on October 30, 2015, 09:24:40 AM
I've been pushing the boundaries recently.  Sitting with two homophobic and probably transphobic Baptist Ladies after a church service and talking about LGBT issues.  Even with the clue that I'm pro-LGBT they can't have read me or I would have been the target of their ire.

Funny!

barbie~~

Quote from: Roni on October 30, 2015, 06:53:04 AM
I think you know you pass when women in public smile at you! Women smile at each other a LOT! It's the equivalent of the "head nod" some guys give each other in public.

Pre-transition, women never smiled at me (obviously), but now it seems to happen every single day.

Yes. Also women tend to touch shoulders or hands without any hesitation. In public bus or train, always women sit next to me.

barbie~~

Quote from: barbie on October 30, 2015, 01:06:08 PM
Yes. Also women tend to touch shoulders or hands without any hesitation. In public bus or train, always women sit next to me.

barbie~~

Women tend to do that to me too.

Unfortunately so do big men and they spread themselves out. Ugh

It seems as though (presumably) single dads are hitting on me with increasing frequency with their kids in tow by trying to be cute and (dad) smiling in my direction and making small talk. It's kind of nice and kind of annoying. Some are kinda cute though.

Weird. Either I don't "pass" as well as I think I do, or I am too much looking like an icecube or more likely its a cultural thing, but while women (and men) smile at me a lot and don't mind sitting next to me in the bus, I do not get touched or called "hun" or "sweetie" or any german equivalent of this...

Quote from: anjaq on November 02, 2015, 08:16:22 AM
Weird. Either I don't "pass" as well as I think I do, or I am too much looking like an icecube or more likely its a cultural thing, but while women (and men) smile at me a lot and don't mind sitting next to me in the bus, I do not get touched or called "hun" or "sweetie" or any german equivalent of this...

I don't know but it seems cultural?

In the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission office when I went to change my gender marker on my driving licence even though they knew exactly what I was there for with my old pic, male name and M gender marker, the woman behind the counter still referred to me as "hun." So yeah they clearly knew I was trans yet they did it anyway.

So I don't think it is really a gauge of passing or not.

What is a gauge of passing for me is how many men in the hardware store now rush to help me pick out stuff. I was buying a toilet flush valve and even though I have replaced many over the years the store clerk made sure that he gave me his best advice on how to install it, even after repeatedly saying, "thanks but I am fine."

How I know I didn't pass was a guy looked at me, laughed and said, "what's up man." Clearly I was clocked. This was some months though, even before I went to Korea. I gave him the Jersey salute and went on my way.

You get asked 2 times in one week the date your last menstrual cycle and twice that your are not pregnant. I messed up my ankle skateboarding and yeah, had to go to 2 different doctors... Such an awkward series of questions. And a lot of confusion about what to write in forms about menstrual cycles LOL. Yes or no "I could be pregnant" is an easy one.

Called the bank, got called Ms J***** (as expected.)

My old name is a common Irish name that some women have. Think speaker of the house.

We were straigtening things out with my name change. Anyway when we were talking, the representative was saying, "One of my friends changed her name, it was this weird long thing. If I had a daughter, I would name her R*** though (my old name), but I can understand why you wanted it changed, as people could think you're a guy then when they talk to you they realize, oh no, you're a girl..."

I said, "yeah, something along that line. I like my new name better. My mom chose it for me."

I was out the other day; no makeup, baby milk everywhere, bags under eyes, shattered from being a new parent to a teething baby and I got a compliment from a shop assistant who looked at me and said without hesitation "I wish I looked as good as you after I'd had my little one; I was a blubbering wreck for months and you still look gorgeous" I was so flattered but I had to tell her my wife had the baby and I just watched haha

Nice one SashaGrace!

when I get called miss when I'm not even wearing make-up. In truth I can't remember being miss gendered in a long time besides for work where I present male.

My ID is still male everything ew but I went out to a club with my friends and the door guy is hitting on me the whole time. I was more focused about being with my girls and having fun so I wasn't really talking to him. He called me back over and tried talking to me again and then he let us all go in before whoever was infront of us so my friends and I went in front of line. He then asked for my ID to get in, I handed him MY ID and I was laughing and he took it as a joke. He was saying there's no way this is me and I kept trying to prove it was. My friends were helping me out trying to explain to him, he was holding the line up so he said your going to have to come back with your ID. I was so upset I didn't get in but I was happy that I passed that well lol. I felt bad that I couldn't get in but we found somewhere else to go. I get clocked for my voice sometimes but I'm working on it. It's all about embracing whatever reaction you get I'm still going to be a proud transgender woman whether someone clocks me or passes me.

Quote from: Nattiedoll on November 10, 2015, 01:26:05 AM
It's all about embracing whatever reaction you get I'm still going to be a proud transgender woman whether someone clocks me or passes me.

Thank you! So good to read that on this thread.....

It's the most important part Tessa! People will always try to clock you for something so the best thing to do is to remain confident because I am secure with my womanhood, the woman that try to clock me aren't.

When you go for your srs assessment and the nurse, says are you here with a patient? Yes, gives name, and she says, well that's obviously not you, where is she? :-P