I thought I knew what it meant to be a man – then I transitioned into one

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/nov/05/i-thought-i-knew-what-it-meant-to-be-a-man-then-i-transitioned-into-one

The Guardian
Tiq Milan
November 5, 2015

Running through Penn Station in New York City, sweating and out of breath I was moments away from dropping my four huge duffle bags and missing my train. I saw an Amtrak employee, flagged him down and hurriedly asked him to help me get my bags to the gate.

"Help you with your bags?" He looked at me with disgust, then rolled his eyes and walked away. I stood there confused and embarrassed, wondering what I could have done that was so offensive. Did I break some man code about asking for help?
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Interesting Op/Ed piece from a trans-man.

This sort of <expletive deleted> is one of the bigger reasons why I feel so alienated from most of the gender I was assigned to at birth.  Being an abusive jerk (or worse) is a large part of what being a man means in our (=Western) culture.

Not the only one, but being expected to be this way -- and getting abused for not being this way -- is one big one.

To a large extent about the jerk part I think you're right.  But there are large subcultures, at least in the US, where that isn't true at all.  I am sure being a jerk is something that is learned rather than being inherent.


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It started off well, but I'm not sure what that article is saying by the end of it. So there's some jerks, but that doesn't say a whole lot about being a man and its almost as if he's defining himself by not being one, or perhaps again some idealized version of what a man is. I'm a bit confused.