I think full transition may end up a reality for me, but for the sake of my wife and kids I'm still keen to try and find any other option. Comments from others suggest that even low-dose HRT will in the long term end up with physical changes that would make a male life awkward. Is low dose really just a way of buying time, but still just a step toward full transition? I'd appreciate any thoughts, particularly from anyone who has tried low-dose for an extended period. Thanks.

Megan.

I have been of low dose for 1.5 years and have read accounts of others. My thought is that low dose should be viewed as the start of a transition as opposed to seeing it as a simply a means for relieving dysphoria. Two reasons is that changes may come much quicker than expected from low dose, and there may be an interest in quickly upping the dose. By taking this approach, you will have family and therapy support if transitioning comes quicker that what you had planned. For me, physical changes from low dose has been great, but the psychological relief from low dose was short-lived. It is a struggle to present as male, but the family is secure.

Quote from: Stochastic on November 07, 2015, 07:17:44 AM
For me, physical changes from low dose has been great, but the psychological relief from low dose was short-lived. It is a struggle to present as male, but the family is secure.

Great topic!

Stochastic, do you find it a struggle presenting as male because your appearance is now very feminine or is it because you are tired of hiding your female self?

My therapist and I are discussing low dose as an option; but I'm in the same position as Megan and curious as to how long you can typically expect to be able to present male while on low dose. Thus far, my approach is to try to delay a full transition as long as possible for family reasons.

Thanks!


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I'm in much the same situation, but a bit further along.

I was on low dose for more than 5 years and it was great at the start. Eventually it wasn't so great and I got extremely depressed and I had to increase it to a full transitioning level of HRT. For the past year its all good again. Its not quite right, but enough so that I'm not clinically depressed. I'm still presenting male and have no difficulty doing do.

I've no idea how this is going to go, but I'm not going through that depression again. There's no hope of winning. My next step would be SRS, and if that's not enough then full transition as that's all that's left by then.

For me its been about buying time.

Changes came quickly for me even on a low dose. Possibly my T has always been fairly low and/or i was just more receptive. Phycological relief was immediate. I assume that your wife would know regardless, so i think whatever you choose, it is the start of a transition.

When you say "male life awkward" what do you mean specifically? Body changes can be fairly hidden much of the time.

I do not know about low dose because I started at full dose. However, everyone reacts differently to HRT and what is low dose my be adequate for feminization, although over a longer period than full dose. 

Skin and body hair changes can be easily hidden. However breasts and face changes may not.

I have been on full dose for over two years and have no problem passing as male with loose tailored striped shirts, tie and "standard issue" engineer stuff in my left breast pocket. If I wear a tight shirt then my boobs are obvious. Nipples and cold temperatures is an issue, they could puncture concrete.

Thanks for all your comments so far they do seem to confirm my broader observations.

RobynD - "Awkward" for me I guess means having to work around or avoid situations on a regular basis, like getting changed at the gym at work, or 'male fail' in daily situations. Even with varying mileage, HRT could probably get me 1-2 years, but 10/20/40? it seems not.

My thinking is that if I'm going to transition, I may as well do it sooner, and enjoy that new life for longer.
I'm in my late thirties now, in a well paid job with a very large LGBT positive UK based employer, which would be about the best work environment to transition in.
I've already been forced to move out of my home away from my wife and children, so I've already paid a lot of the personal cost, but I'm currently only part-time, and out only to very close family and a few friends. Going full-time and onto HRT would be crossing the Rubicon for me personally.

Megan.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on November 07, 2015, 02:53:55 PM
Nipples and cold temperatures is an issue, they could puncture concrete.

LOL


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Quote from: meganjames2 on November 07, 2015, 03:57:39 PM

I've already been forced to move out of my home away from my wife and children, so I've already paid a lot of the personal cost, but I'm currently only part-time, and out only to very close family and a few friends. Going full-time and onto HRT would be crossing the Rubicon for me personally.

Megan.

If you've already paid this high cost (and I sympathize greatly with your situation), might as well try to relieve some of your personal pain (HRT) and focus on being the best you that you can possibly be.

Personally, to keep the family unit together I'm willing to continue to manage/fight this as long as I'm able. But if they kick me out? Well, for me, that would completely change my perspective.


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Quote from: AnonyMs on November 07, 2015, 09:42:09 AM
I was on low dose for more than 5 years and it was great at the start. Eventually it wasn't so great and I got extremely depressed and I had to increase it to a full transitioning level of HRT. For the past year its all good again.

My next step would be SRS, and if that's not enough then full transition as that's all that's left by then.

For me its been about buying time.

AnonyMs,

Was the HRT responsible for the depression or just not strong enough to contain it?

Forgive my ignorance, but I didn't know you could have SRS while intending to still present as male (at least part-time). I would like to know more about this.

Thank you for your post.



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I'm yet another who says that it's wise to plan for the *possibility* of full transition before beginning even low-dose HRT, because you never know.

(My endo started me on a very, very low dose with the intent of increasing the dose in three months to a full transition level... and then it turned out that the super low dose actually was a transition level for me, in that I had so many visible changes so fast that I had to accelerate my coming-out plans at work. I'm an outlier, but others have also pointed out that there's no way to predict or control the effects and low dose does not necessarily equal slow or minor changes.)

It occurs to me that in my response, i may not know what a low dose is, and it is not easily googled. Instead, i may have been started on the lower end of the standard dosage for transition.

Quote from: meganjames2 on November 07, 2015, 03:57:39 PM
Thanks for all your comments so far they do seem to confirm my broader observations.

RobynD - "Awkward" for me I guess means having to work around or avoid situations on a regular basis, like getting changed at the gym at work, or 'male fail' in daily situations. Even with varying mileage, HRT could probably get me 1-2 years, but 10/20/40? it seems not.

Megan.

That makes perfect sense. I suspect my own awkward phases were covered by rapid changes plus the lifestyle changes ( changing gyms to a more friendly one etc.). I changed a fair amount of situations in my life and the new people never really saw me trying to hide femininity. Not everyone has that opportunity.

Quote from: Gladys-phylis on November 08, 2015, 06:50:10 AM
AnonyMs,

Was the HRT responsible for the depression or just not strong enough to contain it?

Forgive my ignorance, but I didn't know you could have SRS while intending to still present as male (at least part-time). I would like to know more about this.

HRT was not responsible for my depression, and in fact helped me greatly when I first started it. I'd say not having enough, or not transitioning was responsible for the last round of depression. I have enough now, but I'm still not socially transitioning. Only time will tell.

Not being able to get SRS without social transition is a very persistent myth. I believe it is very rare, but people have done it and no doubt will continue to do it. I've looked into it and I'm confident I can do it, but then I'm very capable of getting what I want. I'm not sure how difficult it is for others.

There's a similar myth that you can't get genital surgery without a psych letter. Only you can. All of this is up to the surgeon.

Finally had a penectomy
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=186475.0

For myself I don't think SRS would solve any real problems, but I'd be happy to get a few more years before it all goes to hell.

This thread has really helped me.

It has been suggested I consider a low does of HRT to help relieve some dysphoria. I have resisted concerned about the side effects (not to mention the fact I am not self accepting).

Thanks everyone for sharing.

I tried low dose for a bit and not only did it kill my ability to "get it up" thus annoying my wife, I was also feminizing pretty darned rapidly with breast buds and skin changes almost immediately.

So I just went informed consent and full transition.

Some people can use it as a long term solution. Others maybe not.

I know people who went on low dose just long enough to get the androgynous traits they wanted (less body hair, small breasts, etc), and then stopped when they were satisfied. I don't know if they take antiandrogens to prevent revirilization though.

I also know about people who went on low dose and planned staying on low dose, but then ended up fully transitioning once they realized how well they responded psychologically to HRT. In addition to medical reasons (not overwhelming your system with a massive amount of hormones out of nowhere), starting out with low dose is a good thing since it can help the person decide the path forward. Some people who plan on fully transitioning also find out the opposite - that low dose works better for them.

Lastly, I'm aware of people who have stayed on low dose permanently, never socially transitioning, but remaining part time or androgynous.

Of course, a spouse would probably notice the changes on a long-term low dose regimen (one person I know was busted, but the spouse tolerated it - I'd highly recommend notifying your wife), and possibly also friends, but the changes will often be entirely possible to hide. Often, you'll just look younger. At worst, you might have to wear loose shirts to conceal breast development. Facial hair won't change much without hair removal, and it's not like most people will notice if you lose some body hair. It can absolutely be done.

Like anything else there is a spectrum of results with low dose HRT. It can be a long term solution for some but maybe not for others.

I was on low dose HRT for about 4 years prior to transitioning. I got mental relief and not much physical development other than I looked younger (I got carded for alcohol one time at 49 and I shocked the person asking for it) and I had some small breast development that was pretty easy to hide. My junk was still serviceable but it took longer to get things going. It was an acceptable compromise - I was satisfied with how things were going and was happy to be rid of the dysphoria. I later found out at work they had no clue that I was on hormones prior to my transition so the changes weren't enough to out me.

Eventually though it just wasn't enough - my dysphoria returned with a vengeance. To stop it I would have needed a higher dose of HRT but that would have put me on a transitioning dose.

It was at that point when I made the tough decisions and transitioned. By that time it was pretty clear where I was headed.

I kept my ex-wife informed throughout this process but at the end it just wasn't enough and she left. She said she did not want to be in a relationship with another woman and she was no longer attracted to me.

Low dose HRT can be a solution or it can be the precursor to transitioning - the only way to know for sure is to try it under the proper medical supervision.