how do I get over my rape. I view what society did to me ; knowing I was trans and didn't do nothing to me. I been physically abused, mentally and emotionally due to gender. I also been molested and raped before and after transition. I basically been bullied all my life. I suffer from borderline personality and nothing helps medicine, therapy ect. not to mention my medicare only covers 80 % and nobody in the areas I been take Medicaid or lied.

I dont know, is there a trans friendly rape hotline?

That might be better suited to helping you with this?

I know this hasn´t been reacted on for a while, but I feel this is an important subject.

It would be good if you also seek help on a trauma forum. I´m not sure if I´m free to suggest anything, but you can message me if you want and I´ll try to help you out.

It´s important that you don´t try to deal with this all by yourself and also get professional help for it, regardless of that 80% coverage, I am sure there must be a solution to the situation, that people on a trauma forum can help you with.

Quote from: paska101 on September 01, 2015, 02:09:11 PM
how do I get over my rape. I view what society did to me ; knowing I was trans and didn't do nothing to me. I been physically abused, mentally and emotionally due to gender. I also been molested and raped before and after transition. I basically been bullied all my life. I suffer from borderline personality and nothing helps medicine, therapy ect. not to mention my medicare only covers 80 % and nobody in the areas I been take Medicaid or lied.

This is gonna be hard, but the only way to truly "get over your rape," as you put it, is to move on, go forward, stop dwelling, ruminating over and in the past. Because doing that is counterproductive to your recovery. I, myself, am still learning how to do this after being abused for much of my childhood in mostly physical, emotional, and verbal ways. I am being abused even as an adult by my pathologically narcissistic father. 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to prove those who have hurt you wrong by living. Its as simple as that. I bet you they gettin' it back somehow. Heh, you know what they say about karma....

~Nixy~

P.S. I think it would be thoughtful of me if I did at least suggest that perhaps you seek out a support group who deals with this serious subject. This sounds like something you really should get helped with right away. Perhaps an intensive outpatient program that meets in a support group once a week or so. In the States the one I went to was actually free, I think. Ok. I'm not sure. Maybe my insurance did pay for it.

Did you search on your insurance provider's website to see which health practitioners would be able to accept your insurance? This can be a huge problem for me too. Perhaps seek out a social worker and/or case manager to aid in obtaining resources. Get all the help you can for this. Things will get better! ^^ You're so strong to have survived all of that! =)

Quote from: paska101 on September 01, 2015, 02:09:11 PM
how do I get over my rape. I view what society did to me ; knowing I was trans and didn't do nothing to me. I been physically abused, mentally and emotionally due to gender. I also been molested and raped before and after transition. I basically been bullied all my life. I suffer from borderline personality and nothing helps medicine, therapy ect. not to mention my medicare only covers 80 % and nobody in the areas I been take Medicaid or lied.

Medicare and Medicaid only cover 80 percent of the fee up to an amount they determine. Most therapists will not accept this predetermined price because they can't afford an office space on that amount of money. So you will need to cough up the money and pay cash for standard therapy if you use one of these two medical plans. Yes, it sucks but that's the way it works. Ask your doctor to help you find a therapist who accepts one of these. They do exist. They may not have the Phd though.

I too had some experiences similar to yours. Even in therapy, I could not discuss them. I felt ashamed and humiliated... and I know I should feel neither sentiment. But that doesn't change what happens to our brains. We relive every negative moment over and over in our minds. We lose sleep. We lose weight. We can't just put it behind us. We get it.

Just know that you are not alone in what has happened to you. Some of us have dealt with similar problems. The ideas given above are good ones. Meanwhile, don't let this fester. You must seek a way to deal with this problem. Coming to this site is a good step forward.

Chin up,
Cindi