Okay, please don't think I am an ->-bleeped-<- for doing this, it's honestly the only thing that has gotten me through. I am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, we have been dating for about a month, but have known each other for probably 6 months. I met her on this weird social app. I used my pictures, but had a different name and pretended to be a cis guy; she has no clue I am FTM.

I really really like this girl, she makes me so freaking happy. We facetime and it's just so amazing, it's the closest thing I've ever had to a relationship. I want to meet her and actually be with her. I know she is totally fine with people that are trans, one of her friends is actually FTM. I honestly think she would accept me, I mean she even was bi at one point. I don't want to keep lying to her, I feel so awful. She doesn't deserve this, she needs to know the truth. I love her so much, I just don't want to lose her.

So my question is, how should I tell her? Thanks in advance..

Here are some resources:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Well you might tell there is something special about you...
and explain... also some of your feelings...

there might even be one or two good points from your second paragraph 

and it might be a good idea to reassure her of your love...
and maybe have flowers ready... virtual ones as picture might do...


*hugs* and wish you luck 

So you have never met her in person? Whatever the issue that may cause people to reject you, I think they should be told early and before face to face meeting. Before I met my wife, there was my job that some people had issues with. Telling them early meant not wasting more effort than needed on someone who was not accepting. Seems the same here. I have five major topics that relationships should have high commonalities with a potential partner. Your issues may be different, but I distilled mine down to those. That proved to be a pretty good predictor of avoiding strife. Mine are religion, relationship style, money, politics and children. I might add sexuality issues. By the way, these were not as effective as I would have liked when dealing with gender issues.

If she has an FTM friend, she probably already suspects or knows that you are trans.  You may be underestimating her that way, and she may just be waiting for you to work up the courage to tell her.

Bear in mind, you have not met her in person yet, although you are in video chat, to us oldtimers that does not count as "dating."

At some point, you are just going to have to trust and tell her.  And the point where you are in a bedroom with her and taking off your pants is not that point.

The best point to tell her is just before you commit the time and money to going and actually meeting her.  The second best point is in person, shortly after you meet her.

People are weird
Some will say they love you and support you, but later kick you to the curb.
Then some will kick you to the curb but later accept you
Then there are those who will never change.
And bless the ones who continue to love us.

My advise is to tell her. Trust is a major component of any relationship. She may seem to accept you as non trans. But she could later get extremely irate in which case you may need a very good divorce lawyer.

May you be extremely fortunate with her.

Take care,

Janet

I told her last night and it went so much better than I had expected. I thought she was going to be upset that I had waited this long, but no she understood that you have to earn someone's trust first.

She told me that she doesn't care and that I am still her boyfriend and that she loves me no matter what

Quote from: Rodgersl31 on November 15, 2015, 07:46:15 PM
I told her last night and it went so much better than I had expected. I thought she was going to be upset that I had waited this long, but no she understood that you have to earn someone's trust first.

She told me that she doesn't care and that I am still her boyfriend and that she loves me no matter what

Congratulations 


hugs